Porklips Now

The single best movie parody of all time. This short includes all of the major themes and "quotable quotes" of the movie applied to an absurd topic. It was timely (release within a year of the original movie), well produced and executed, included an actor who had been lost to popular attention (wasn't he dead?), and even included some of the hype surrounding the original. If you view any one movie parody, this is the one. The real question is -- where is it?

This truly hilarious take-off of "Apocalypse Now" is as filled with textured background gags as any Kurtzman-Elder page from the old "Mad" (check out the books in the bookcases Fosselius pans across while Mertz reads poetry to Dullard, for example). You might remember Fosselius from the great parody "Hardware Wars" he produced for about 29 cents and which got its first exposure on local Bay Area television fave Bob Wilkins' "Creature Features." Here, Fosselius works with a big budget (at least $1.25!) and the result is this 28-minute epic that zeroes in like a laser on every pretentious absurdity of Coppola's magnum epic. My favorite bit comes at the end when Dullard comes after Mertz with a knife and Fosselius cuts to a meat slicer churning out very thin slices of bologna. Yeah, there's a few dead spots, but well worth seeking out if only for the raspberry it blows directly in Coppola's face. Don't get me wrong - I like "Apocalypse Now" and Coppola, but I just crack up every time I see this. A classic!

"Porklips Now" has got to be the funniest spoof of a feature film that I've ever seen! One thing that makes it so good is that it stays so close to the original movie (Apocalypse Now). Almost every scene in this short parallels a classic scene from that movie. For example, the one guy who is skate boarding behind the car while holding the rope, is like the guy who was water skiing in Apocalypse Now. Or, the arrow through the head prop, hilarious. This short even captures some of the strange atmosphere from Apocalypse Now. Favorite line at the end of the movie: "Oh Dullard, you slay me".....DULLARD: "Actually, I was just about to do that". Its been a long time since I've seen it, so the dialog might be slightly different, but it was something like that.

Billy Gray is perfect as Dullard. He sort of reminds me of Charlie Sheen with his reactions and facial expressions. The rest of the cast of unknowns also do a very good job.

I'm sure this will make its was onto DVD at some date and time- I just hope its in my lifetime! A friend of mine had it on Betamax way back in the eighties, but it should be on DVD by now.

O....M....G.

Sorry if the above quote was inaccurate as to the price of porklips, but it's been 25 years since I saw the original, on the flip side of "Hardware Wars," by far inferior.

Since then, I've run around saying "Porklips" is THE funniest film ever made. Yep, better than Spinal Tap, in a low-budget kind of way, which Fosselius plays up.

"Apocalypse Now" is the #1 best film ever made, so I guess it'd stand to reason I'd rank Porklips as the #1 funniest film. I wonder of Coppola has ever seen Porklips? Anyway, about 5 years ago I found a VHS copy on ebay, and snatched it up. Took it to a fiend's house, where we literally rolled in the aisles for hours.

"I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. Dullard? Dullard, are you listening to me?" I called the fiend a month later to get my tape back. "Oops. I taped football over it." *)%*@#)!!! So now I'm on a new quest...If anyone knows where to obtain this, email me! Fred Mertz...Operating beyond any reasonable or sane price controls.

This is one of best, funniest movie spoofs I've ever seen. Favorite quote: Mertz: Do you find my method...acting...unsound? Dullard: I saw no acting at all.