Frankenstein Island

When watching this film I asked two questions...

1. WHY IS THING LIKE A BAD 50'S HORROR FLICK?

2. WAS THIS A TAX WRITE OFF?

But when ya come down to it..it's so bad it's funny!

"Ballonists" crash land on a island no one has "charted" which is inhabited by Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons!

If that wasn't bad enough the Practice "witchcraft", aka dancing with fake snakes, and jiggling their bodies alot, lol!

Then..they run into crazed guy left from a crashed sailing ship...who offer them a chance to go to "the house" after a cusomary groping of the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons!

Soon thereafter the "Ballonists" are taken to an OBVIOUSLY fake jail facility whre they meet Jayson- a crazed sailor who has been imprisoned for 17 years and spouts alot of Poe for no reason.

Soon the "Ballonists" meet Mrs. Frankenstein! She explains to them that the assistant to Doc Frankie is still alive after 200 years due to some osrt of "blood transufions" from the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons and Jayson.

One of the "Ballonists" is a scientist(Of course) and gets wrapped up in helping Mrs. Frankenstein and the 1/2 alive assistant to Doc Frankie as the floating head of Doc Frankenstein, promisng the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons, "The power!! The power!!'

Of course, for no reason, they are also making "mutants"(Guy in caps with sunglasses, that seem to be "gump-like")

I won't give the ending away, you'll just have to watch this sucker!!

It plays like an Ed Wood movie, and would have belived it was one, except for the fact he died in 1978!

Rent it, you won't be disappointed!!

With other bad films the novelty wears off fast. Not this time. True the budget is low, but not so low that new crazy elements can't be sprung on the viewer in every scene. Some of the props are not impressive. For example a barely-altered plastic devil fork (used as a magic wand?) and department store mannequins (experimented on?). Don't be deterred though, the sets and costumes are all fun and the plot moves fast.

John Carradine is in this movie less than any top-billed star has been in any movie. You will see that he was no doubt not on the same set. In fact, you will see his performance does not even demand that he be on any set.

The very end is so cheap that it will make you mad. Still, this movie pleased me and I laughed a lot.

Director Jerry Warren's final film, FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND is his ultimate lead pipe to our brains! Opening with hot air balloons talking to each other, we know we're in Warren territory right away.

The four-man crew of one of the balloons, which apparently crashed into the ocean at some point off camera, arrives at the titular landmass, only to be captured by native women in matching leopard skin bikinis and flip-flops. Obviously, these wild women must dance -horribly- to a crazy bongo beat!

Then, after a brief interruption, it's smoking time! Out of skull bongs! Several severely annoying, idiot characters -especially that cackling guy!- are introduced, and many nonsensical events occur. This somehow leads to our heroes meeting Cameron Mitchell, playing the worst role of his career! He rambles. He murmurs. He blathers about nothing at all.

Enter the be-wigged Sheila Frankenstein Von Helsing (Katherine Victor), and on and on it goes.

This "film" is a true test of will for any viewer. Most won't survive its mind-evaporating effects! Warren's ability to induce coma is at its apex here. Absolutely nothing makes sense, and nothing really happens!

Wha...? More dancing?! Good lord!

Once the disembodied John Carradine appears, spouting, "The power! The power!! The power!!!", we know we're in hell! Good luck with this one my friends, but beware the spinning, pink bullet box of infinite terror!

Mr. Warren, your vengeance is complete!

P. S.- The finale features the bikini women vs. Zombies vs. A hand-waving, grumbling Frankenstein's monster in earth shoes! Plus, Benji the wonder dog, plastic fangs, and halfhearted karate! It's almost worth the wait.

Almost...

My VCR taped this movie in 1986 at 2:30am when it was supposed to be recording "Kings Row". I have never been happier at the error. Here is a film I show to old friends and new loves. It is so bad...so beyond bad, really, that this film could be a guest on Jerry Springer. Lets quickly move from the plot: stranded balloonists discover themselves on an island with Jacques Cousteau-like zombies, amazon women warriors in spandex leopard prints, and...a weird, unresolved Frankenstein motif. That aside, it is constant hilarity. Plastic pitchforks, the same we carried at Halloween as kids, are waved in front of the camera to suggest danger. A shoe box ,, painted red on the lower half and put on a gyro is the electronic brain for the monster. The actress playing Frankensteins relative, Sheila!!!, is a hoot since she is seen reading her lines from off set (behind bookcases, etc). The ending pales since the beginning is so rapturously inane and silly. It is not to be missed. Please don't turn off when the Mighty Kung Fus scenes occur...or the tiny skulls appear in a gas-lit barbeque to intimate danger. Or when poor Cameron Mitchell appears as Captian Ahab/Queeq explaining how he allowed his crew to become zombies. Best scene: at the very beginning, when the balloon crashes, the dog on board jumps off and pees on the seaweed as the titles run. Such honesty in cinema is so rare.

Briefly speaking, nothing in this movie makes any sense at all, either on the level of overall plot or of individual scenes or even lines. This would have to be one of the most relentlessly stupid movies ever made. As soon as it looks like something is remotely intelligible, the actors and director seem to do their utmost to bring in yet another non sequitur.

The dialogue seems to have been written by someone who's never actually heard a conversation between people before, and acted by people who've never participated in one.

However, it's extremely amusing. This is an extraordinarily bad movie, but that's not because it's boring. The pink lunchbox, the contact lenses with white-out on them, the rubber skulls, the guy who keeps laughing constantly for no reason, the suburban living room in the middle of the deserted island, the power that attacks your arm when you "mix the particular place, not here but on the outside" (that is, say the name of a city)... champagne cinema.

You could do much worse than track a copy down - but beware - some video copies have the goofiest scenes edited out!