Diamonds of Kilimandjaro

Another no budget-shot which is full of the nudity of some quite plain women as well as a not-existing plot and a set decoration that seems to be taken from the botanic garden of a zoo. In other words: Ruggero Deodato´s film looks like the "Citizen Kane" of the cannibal movies, because any acting, storyline, suspense, dramatic, or even cannibalism... are totally missing in Franco´s flick! There´s some animal documentary footage brought on, but the style doesn´t fit to the rest of the film what causes some real laughable impressions! And former German sex starlet Katja Bienert is only ridiculous in the role of Tarzan-like girl Liana, her scream sounds like a drunk gorilla! Don´t be fooled, folks! Even Franco can do it better! Only for those a must-see who think they should have seen all of this director - a lot of work in view of the 176 films Franco shot!!

This film is a cheap rip off of King Solomon's Mines and "She." Those books have been done so much better in other films. But this one manages to grab all the tropes from those classics and trot them out in a cheaper version.

Do you want a native tribe protecting jewels Check Do you want a white woman as the tribe's goddess? Check Dp you want a native shaman dancing for the tribe Check Do you want stock footage of a jungle? Check Do you want women running around in skimpy loin cloths? Check.

And when it comes to continuity.... Well, I am sure the director would echo the classic line: "Continuity? Continuity? We don't need no stinking continuity".

So, for example, quick cut to a rhino chasing a jeep. Wait, we didn't get into the jeep yet. Film that. Now add the same cut of the rhino. Don't worry about the first one - no one will notice.

There is just so little to like about this movie.

Good old Jess Franco! The always-reliable choice of director in case you're looking for undemanding sleaze, shameless exploitation and 200% gratuitousness. Jess once again really surpassed himself with this utterly trashy piece of jungle "adventure". Let's face it, this film is basically just an excuse to have the ravishingly hot (and underage…) actress Katja Bienert parade around topless. It's actually a rather disturbing thought that an innocent 16-year-old girl had to walk around a film set naked in front of a whole crew and particularly before the gazing eyes of pervert Franco! And it wasn't even the first time, since the duo previously already made "Linda" together. Anyways, just in case you wondered: YES, "Diamonds of the Kilimanjaro" does have a plot, albeit a very imbecilic one. During the opening sequences a plane, carrying aboard a wealthy Scottish guy and a girl child, crash amidst an African tribe of vegetarian cannibals. I say vegetarian because they never at one point in the film so much even attempt to consume human flesh. The obnoxious Scot declares himself the Great White Leader and the girl grows up to become the beautiful and scarcely dressed White Goddess. Several years later an expedition reaches the middle of the jungle to get the girl back to civilization and – even more importantly - to steal some of the tribe's legendary diamonds. This could have been a compelling and action-packed adventure movie, but Jess Franco obviously couldn't be bothered. Why shoot jungle chase sequences or bloody cannibalistic rites when you can just as easily aim your camera at a hot young chick sitting naked in a tree? Most of the jungle settings simply appear to be filmed in someone's garden and there's a massive amount of clumsily edited National Geographic wildlife footage in order to fill up the gaps in continuity. The back of the DVD describes "Diamonds of the Kilimanjaro" as an ingenious, feminist and adult orientated version of Tarzan. Yeah right, they just put that sentence there because Katja Bienert's character swings from one tree to another using a a couple of times.

Franco films can be divided into 4 categories- the "earlies" (often black and white and inventive), the "naughties" (late 1960s/early 1970s often involving Soledad Miranda), the "nudies" (of various periods, but using full frontal female nudity as plot drive)and "the rest".

This is part of the "rest". It is not really a cannibal movie at all. It is certainly no gorefest. The few women in the picture dont even lose their loin cloths and there is little full frontal stuff at all. The picture quality on the German DVD I watched is poor. The film peters out (insofar as it ever catches fire). As a Franco fan, I would tell others not to bother. Do something else with your time...read a book....get a copy of "Women in Cellblock 9"...anything really...

Diamonds of Kilimandjaro (1983)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A plane crashes in the jungles of Africa and a little girl survives. Fifteen years later her mother (Lina Romay) sends a search party out looking for her but they've also got their eyes on some priceless jewels. I enjoy these jungle adventure films but this one here dies off after a decent start. There are a few good moments but not enough to really keep the film moving as well as it should. I've heard that Franco didn't shoot all of the material here but it certainly looks like his work.