Chattanooga Choo Choo

This film begins with an unscrupulous businessman by the name of "Burt" (George Kennedy) spending some time with his mistress "Maggie Jones" (Barbara Eden) when he suddenly realizes that he is late for an important party in honor of his extremely rich father-in-law "Alonzo Dillard" (Parley Bear) who is celebrating his 75th birthday. Yet even though his tardiness doesn't go unnoticed, things are quickly forgotten when Alonzo just happens to die that very day. Naturally, having only one child, Alonzo pretty much leaves his vast fortune to his daughter "Estelle" (Bridget Hanley). However, Burt is also promised the hefty sum of $1 million under one condition--that he gets an old locomotive known as the Chattanooga Choo Choo back in working condition and, once that is accomplished, has it driven all the way from the Pennsylvania Station in New York to Chattanooga within 24 hours. Just like in the song. Needless to say, Burt is elated at this news and even uses this unexpected opportunity as a publicity stunt to promote his newly acquired football team which he plans to relocate to Chattanooga as well. What he doesn't count on, however, is Maggie booking passage on the train in the mistaken belief that he has obtained his divorce from Estelle and wants to hastily get married on that same train ride to Chattanooga. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that I really wasn't expecting too much from this movie as it hadn't caught my attention until fairly recently. Even so, given the fact that it had George Kennedy, Barbara Eden and Joe Namath (as "Newt Newton"), I figured I had to give it a try. And I was glad I did as it turned out to be a surprisingly good comedy, all things considered. A bit corny at times, but a good comedy all the same. Be that as it may, while this film might not appeal to everyone, I enjoyed it for the most part and I have rated it accordingly. Slightly above average.

Even rail buffs will be turned off by this waste of celluloid. A non-connected, early-'80s "Porky"-style adolescent string of puns and bathroom humor that is an insult to anyone who has rented this expecting some railroad action. In fact, the train itself is hardly seen. Get "Silver Streak" instead.

I have a theory about "Chattanooga Choo Choo".

This was a made-for-TV movie (look at the cast!) and somehow the cans made their way to movie theaters instead of the network and inadvertently got shown at your local theater. That's the only explanation I can offer for why such a stupid movie got released.

Eden's first major release in a decade is certainly nothing Major Nelson would approve of. With speeding trains, laxative, purple clothes, glue in peepholes, stuttering cheerleaders and Joe Namath, there is plenty of goofiness but nothing special. When George Kennedy in his underwear doesn't make you laugh, you know there's something seriously wrong.

This "Choo Choo" is just a time-filler between an episode of "Taxi" and your local news.

Three stars. No go, Joe.

Totally incoherent and really down-right dumb mess follows a cast of characters on a train of all things. The title, based on the very popular song that came about in the 1940s, is the only real connection for the episodic situations. As bad as this is it may still win a few over with its stupidity. Joe Namath (former New York Jets quarterback) makes the largest impression in a whacked cast that includes Barbara Eden ("I Dream of Jeannie" fame) and the usually dependable George Kennedy. With all the shortcomings (they are way too numerous to go into) I still ended up having a fair time on the ride. Not near enough for a recommendation of course, but I have seen much worse in my time. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

I enjoyed every minute of this. George Kennedy as Bert, a potential inheritor of his father's fortune was great. Barbara Eden as his fluzzy girl friend Maggie Jones was absolutely perfect and her handling of Bert, her overbearing, possessive, bumbling boyfriend was very believable Joe Namath, the football great, provided a love interest. The trip on an old train with the objective of making a required schedule and the intervening wide variety of shenanegans make this a really fun movie. Of course a little bathroom humor which is thrown in, might turn off a few straight laced people, but I found it funny because it was far from obscene. Overall, I found the acting of Barbara Eden, George Kennedy and Joe Namath excellent and hard to top.