Heavenly Bodies

This extremely predictable romance tries to exploit the early-80s aerobics craze with an inane story about a plucky little aerobics studio from (literally) the wrong side of the tracks taking on the big, bad gym. Quite why an aerobics club which only seems to have about three staff and no exercise equipment whatsoever is regarded as a serious challenge by a well-equipped gym, I do not know. Attempts to put the club out of business result in an aerobics marathon, which is televised live, although several hours of non-stop aerobics hardly sounds like a ratings winner!

The simplistic plot comes across like a slightly racier version of a Walt Disney story and is mainly an excuse for endless scenes of attractive women jiggling up and down in tight leotards, accompanied by awful rock songs. Cynthia Rhodes is fit and attractive but a really terrible actress, with flat dialogue delivery. Her club must be doing all right though, since she can afford to buy an apparently limitless number of leotards.

Going nowhere in her desk job, cute single mom Cynthia Dale (as Samantha "Sam" Blair) decides to open an exercise club. She rents a warehouse and calls it "Heavenly Bodies". Romance shines on Ms. Dale in the form of blond football player Richard Rebiere (as Steve). When the fitness craze blankets North America, a TV station hires Dale to host an exercise show. She edges out cute blonde Laura Henry (as Debbie Martin), who works at a rival club. It's only a local TV show, but Ms. Henry is more than miffed. She decides to shut down "Heavenly Bodies", with help from her lover Walter George Alton (as Jack Pearson). When one lover says to the other, "I heard you got shortchanged between your legs," we have a fist-fight. It all climaxes with a "workout marathon" between the two fitness clubs. The winning team gets "Heavenly Bodies". Director Lawrence Dane generously shows off many well-proportioned young women jumping around the screen, in tight work-outfits. You might get dizzy watching them.

**** Heavenly Bodies (12/15/84) Lawrence Dane ~ Cynthia Dale, Richard Rebiere, Laura Henry, Walter George Alton

I thought it was enjoyable. People are judging it a little harshly, I don't think it was meant to be Shakespeare exactly. It might have worked better as a t.v. movie, but still, I thought it was a fun little drama and got some smiles out of it. They could have used a little more variety in the soundtrack--I think we hear several repeats of about four songs--but it was capitalizing on the then-dawning workout craze, and that's what you might expect. They could have done some more character development. We should have seen some more conversations or in other ways gotten to know more about the characters. It really plays a lot like a workout tape itself, it's more about the club than the people...but it's not worse than some other movies which have gotten more praise.

Look, this isn't a "good" movie in any way, unless you love watching aerobics, BUT it's corny beyond belief with a goofy synth pop soundtrack and a dance off competition in the end. If you like your 80's cheese thickly sliced, then it's gouda!

Canadian movie producer Robert Lantos (who produced this movie) has basically proclaimed himself as a savior of Canadian film, though oddly he has made plenty of movies not set in Canada, or set in some anonymous North American location. And virtually all his mass market movies - including this one - are not set in Canada! What's the matter, Lantos, can't Canada have any fun? Actually, I am glad that this movie was set in the United States, because it's pretty awful and I'd hate foreigners knowing this movie was Canadian. There's plenty of reasons why this movie is tough to sit through - there's almost no plot, the characters are given almost no development, and the movie is one endless workout sequence after the other. If you're thinking there's plenty of sex and nudity because Playboy helped produce the movie, think again - there's almost none of that stuff. I can't see anyone finding this movie appealing, so it's no wonder this movie was out of theaters quickly despite the distributor treating it as a major release.