Invasion U.S.A.

Communist forces have invaded the United States. Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen and Jennifer Grey were unavailable, so in comes everyone's favourite one-man wrecking ball, Chuck Norris.

Watch out you Commie b------s, Chuck is on the loose! You think these guys would have learnt by now!

A year after "Missing in Action", which is one of my favourite guilty pleasures, director Joseph Zito is back working with Chuck.

"Invasion U. S. A." is what "Red Dawn" might have been if it were a B-movie, just more violent (graphically so) and less exciting. It's nearly thirty minutes before the enemy lands on American shores. That didn't leave all that long for Chuck's hero, Matt Hunter, to save the day in a movie with a 1hr 47min run time.

Still, it's always fun watching Chuck beat the living tripe out of bad guys, no matter the setting. One thing you can say about a Chuck Norris movie: you know what you're gonna get, and it never disappoints.

One thing I will say about Invasion USA is that when the action gets going it doesn't let up. It's like watching an Indiana Jones movie that way.

The Russians have decided that the way to conqer Ajmerica is to spread naked terror. So several landing craft land one night in Florida and terrorists disembark. The idea is to spread chaos and mayhem with attacks on civilians in places that they congregate.

We however have Chuck Norris on our side, a mysterious agent who has some history with the terrorist Commie leader Richard Lynch. So whrever they strike in the Miami area, Norris is johnny on the spot and does them n at a prodigious rate.

Surprisingly for a Chuck Norris film little martial arts is used except in the end with his final confrontation with Lynch.

It's cinem paranoia at its finest. The best acting is done by Norris's pet armadillo.

Oh come on! This movie is hilarious!!

Chuck Norris is the funniest action hero since Charlie Sheen in "Hot Shots Part Deux"! Of course the plot (what there is of one) is completely ridiculous, and only exists to have an excuse to blow stuff up and for Chuck to beat people up. This only adds to the laughability! I highly recommend this to any person looking for the ultimate in exagerated action films. And those quotes! Classic!!

"If you come in here again, I'll hit you with so many rights..you'll beg for a left!"

A cheese fan's dream, with Chuck Norris on top form as a gun-toting hardman out to single-handedly stop the invasion of America by those pesky Russians. From start to finish, INVASION U.S.A. is one of Cannon's most outrageous and over-the-top action epics, featuring a plethora of outlandish action scenarios all achieved on what must have been a relatively low budget.

The movie features B-movie stalwart Richard Lynch as a deranged madman out for revenge on our bearded hero. Along the way, Lynch takes care of sleazy coke dealer Billy Drago and his coke-snorting prostitute in one of the most violently laughable set-pieces ever put on film. From then on in, it's Chuck versus the terrorists. Our hero proves fast with his mini machine guns and even faster with his one-liners, dispatching crim after crim in a series of spectacular showdowns. Highlights include the attempted bombing of a school bus and a massive shoot-out in a shopping mall (so good they copied it in Seagal's MARKED FOR DEATH).

Things end with a massive battle that provides a maximum number of explosions for your dollar – even if one scene of an exploding van is repeated three times, each from a different angle in an attempt to make it look like a different vehicle. Supporting characters are wisely kept out of the way, walls are demolished, the scenery-chewing hits an all-time high and Chuck doesn't even attempt characterisation (in fact, he barely even speaks). No, this was the same year that COMMANDO came out and automatic weaponry ruled the box office. It's an action fan's delight, proving far funnier than any mainstream comedy you can name.

There's a 20-minute stretch in 'Invasion U.S.A.' where Chuck Norris' Matt Hunter character keeps showing up out of the blue to thwart various Commie terror attacks that his character would have had no clue were about to take place. We all know the real Chuck Norris is omniscient, but who knew that his characters were as well? 'Invasion U.S.A.' is high on dead bodies, and low on logic and common sense, but it's a fairly well made film from the technical side, and seeing Norris operate at the peak of his hairy-chested machismo is always a treat.

Best Chuckism; "If you come back in here, I'm gonna hit you with so many rights you're gonna be beggin' for a left.".