The Tomb

...And I don't really know if that is saying a lot either. The Tomb tells the story of some stupid robber in Egypt disrupting the sacred tomb of an Egyptian sorceress, dead and yet still alive. The guy sells the artifacts found in the tomb, and the mummy(wearing low-cut outfits, breasts popping out here and there, and speaking as though she was picked up off of Hollywood Boulevard) goes to Los Angelos to get them back so she can perform a ritual sacrifice and stay young. Alright, the story is not too good, but the film is entertaining. For one of Ray's films, the acting is better than usual. Some nice performances by horror veterans Cameron Mitchell(he does a real fine job) and John Carradine in his five minutes of film raise the film from being strictly mundane. Throw in some great music and lots of T & A(a Ray specialty it seems...he even has Kitten Nativadad as a stripper in one scene doing some entertaining back-breaking bouncing) for extra measure. Let's not forget Sybil Danning too. Yep, she is in the film in the first five minutes only in what can be described as nothing more than a throw-away cameo. Her presence seems to be totally unnecessary, although I really am not complaining. Sure this film is a cheap B movie, but what the heck. Fred Olen Ray is living a lifetime dream of creating movies. His affection for the horror genre is obvious when he makes a point of giving cameos and roles to the likes of Mitchell, Carradine, and in other movies Robert Quarry, Carroll Borland, Kirk Allyn, and many more. He is not hiring them for their billing potential. It is nonexistent except to people like me who like to remember those fond memories of another time. He hires them for his love of their work. He gives characters in his movie names like Howard Phillips(named for H. P. Lovecraft) and David Manners(the actor who starred in the original Mummy as the heroic lead). It is easy for me and others to denegrate his work, and I have in other reviews, but like them or not...I applaud the fact that he went out and made them. Kudos Mr. Ray!

THE TOMB (1986) is another adaptation of the Bram Stoker story Jewel of the Seven Stars, following Hammer's BLOOD FROM THE MUMMY'S TOMB and 1980's THE AWAKENING. Not that you'd know from watching: the plot has been transformed into a simple supernatural-being-seeks-revenge tale, as an Egyptian queen pursues the tomb raider who half-inched her artefacts back to America.

The warning is that this was directed by Fred Olen Ray, so expect it to be VERY low budget. I find Ray an acquired taste, I'm not sure I enjoyed any of his films, and that doesn't change here. The first half hour is more like a cheap action movie and attempts at horror later on are severely diluted by poor execution. As usual, there's more sexiness than terror or atmosphere. Michelle Bauer fails to convince as the antagonist, while the usual cameos (Sybil Danning, Cameron Mitchell, John Carradine) don't pass muster either.

Bram Stoker gets the cheesy 80s action movie treatment in this early Fred Olen Ray stinker. This is an adaptation of Stoker's novel, The Jewel of the Seven Stars. Obviously this is a very loose adaptation (so loose no credit is given), but make no mistake it's derived from his story about a female mummy. The action scenes are hilariously bad. A single gunshot makes a plane explode. The music is also the pits. As for the cast, David Pearson is the star not top-billed Thomas Mitchell. Actually all of the big names in this have small roles. I watched it mainly for Sybil Danning, so you can imagine how disappointed I was by her one scene. It's a pretty boring cheapie. Skip it

Tomb, The (1986)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

If you remember the good old days when non-stop trash was shown on stations like Cinemax then you might have came across a film like this. The story is pretty simple as a con man is able to steal some jewels from a tomb in Egypt but the dead princess Nefratis (Michelle Bauer) comes back for revenge. She travels to America where she tracks down and kills all the men who bought these items. This film starts off with an incredibly silly action piece, which I'm guessing was meant to be some sort of Indiana Jones homage but then we move into more horror elements. As is to be expected, this film certainly isn't going to be mistaken for the work of Orson Welles but if you're lining yourself up for a film like this then I'm sure you know that already. Those wanting some cheap thrills will find some here but not nearly enough to make this film worth sitting through. At only 83-minutes things move way too slowly and sadly the energy runs out before the opening credits are over. I think fans of the horror genre might want to tune in just to see Cameron Mitchell and John Carradine but neither man can add too much to the film. I'm a die-hard Carradine fan and will attempt to see everything he's in but his work with Ray is cheaper than some of those films he did in Mexico back in the 60s. Mitchell chews up the scenery as only he can. Sybil Danning appears as well and fans of Bauer will be happy to know she has some nudity. There's not as much nudity in the film as one might expect but there are a couple gory death scenes. Most of the effects are cheap but mildly effective. THE TOMB is incredibly light-weight entertainment that isn't going to win any awards but I'm sure fans of "Z" movies might find it interesting. I enjoy low-budget movies but this one here just didn't have enough going for it.

This is an Indiana Jones-type film that was made on the cheap (VERY cheap). It features hot young guys running about sets that looked LESS convincing than the props in a spook house! It also features an airplane that explodes with one shot from a pistol, a band in pharaoh head gear and others dressed like mummies or wearing a fez singing "Tutti Frutti" (presumably in the Middle East), BAD dialog and acting and one embarrassing moment after another. When the film began, I knew it was crap--simply because of the cheapo soundtrack. It's all synthesizers and sounds pretty much like what other cheap 80s films sounded like (such as "Warlords of the 21st Century"). And, it features John Carradine--a guy who would have starred in ANYTHING (including tampon commercials) if they paid him in cash! It also features Cameron Mitchell--a once decent actor who, by 1986, was seriously looking for work. As for the rest, they're mostly unknown actors (aside from Sybil Danning, who made a career out of appearing in low-budget films)....and I can see why. Overall, it's the sort of picture that would have gone straight to videotape or been seen on the USA Network back in the late 80s. If you like crap, then give this one a try. As for me, I couldn't even finish this one...it was that lame.