Blood Theatre

This movie was so dumb and slow was it ever slow. The only good part of the film was the girl in the tight shinny gold pants. There was no gore whatsover and what is a 80's horror movie without a little gore. Plus the killer wasn't at all scary nor were the murders. But if you like to watch the world's worst horror movie then this is for you. Don't waste your time like I did watching this.

My review was written in January 1986 after watching the movie on Active video cassette.

"Movie House Massacre", made in 1984, is an unimpressive spoof of horror films which went directly to the home video market, bypassing theatrical release. Despite the presence of accomplished actress Mary Woronov, it plays like amateur night at the bijou.

Gimmick is a presumably haunted movie theater (originally a legit theater house), where many years ago the manager went nuts, started a fire (creating a panic) and stabbed the ticket booth girl to death. Now the owner of the 11-screen Spotlite Theaters chain attempts to reopen the accursed place, sending three hapless employees to clean up the site for the big opening night. Supposedly he will get a $25,000 reward from parties unknown for daring to reopen the joint.

Hokey subplot has one of the employees being a school cheerleader, so her fellow cheerleaders can visit her at the theater and become standard victims of the ghostly killer. Body count mounts until a botched nonending.

Filmmaker Alice Raley demonstrates an ignorance of rudimentary technique, with poorly matched shots, minimal sound mix and incompetent editing. Woronov keeps busy with irrelevant bits of business as tghe theater owner's assistant, but the rest of the cast is blah. Location filming at the Beverly Theater in Beverly Hills and Fairfax Theater in Los Angeles delivers some atmosphere.

If "Massacre" had been released theatrically, exhibitors would not have been pleased by its silly in-jokes, emphasizing a corrupt theater owner who is more interested in videotaping bootleg versions of films off his screen than in satisfying his (less lucrative) filmgoing clientele.

The acting is mostly horrid, the plot is pretty lame, and the ending is pathetic. Yet...it does have a certain charm about it, it's almost so bad that it's kinda good. It's at times more of a comedy than a horror movie, just listen to some of the lines and sound effects. It reminded me a lot at times of the comedy/horror spoof movie "Student Bodies". I like the early electronica music that runs throughout the film, it's repetitive but effective, I would compare it as very similar to the music from the first "Slumber Party Massacre" film. I think if the killings would have been a little more realistic and unique, and that if the ending would have been a lot better and explained things this could have been a more highly regarded film. It would have also helped if the movie was about 10 minutes longer in length, 75 minutes did seem quite short watching it...

A movie house was closed down after tragic fire and mass murder.Manager of Spot light Cinema Murdoch chooses three of his best employees to get the old place ready for opening night.The killings begin...Suspenseless and horribly clichéd slasher spoof with eleven goreless killings and lame slapstick scenes.People wander into the cinema and are stabbed to death by the old manager.There is truly badly done decapitation scene plus a little bit of sleazy nudity provided by the chick in gold satin hot pants.The score is horrible and the sound effects are even worse.The ending doesn't make any sense,but it's always nice to see lovable Mary Woronov and her gorgeous legs.6 out of 10.

I stumbled upon the 1984 horror movie "Blood Theatre" by random luck here in 2024. And of course I opted to sit down and watch it, since it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen before, nor actually heard about. And the fact that Mary Woronov was on the cast list, definitely was a plus.

Writer and director Rick Sloane delivered a very stale script for the movie. It felt like a farce at times, because it was so cliché and generic. In fact, it felt like something that was either taken out of the 1970s and dressed up in a 1984 outfit or something that was an homage to the old Lucio Fulco movies, given the way it looked and sounded.

Regardless of what "Blood Theatre" was supposed to be, then it wasn't a movie that particularly entertained me much. It was somewhat of a struggle to sit through.

Of the entire cast ensemble in the movie, then I was only familiar with Mary Woronov. The acting performances in "Blood Theatre" was nothing to write home about.

If you enjoy horror movies, then this movie is hardly something you should rush out and get to watch. And it definitely isn't a movie that will grace my screen a second time.

My rating of "Blood Theatre", from writer and director Rick Sloane, lands on a three out of ten stars.