Blood Theatre

This movie was so dumb and slow was it ever slow. The only good part of the film was the girl in the tight shinny gold pants. There was no gore whatsover and what is a 80's horror movie without a little gore. Plus the killer wasn't at all scary nor were the murders. But if you like to watch the world's worst horror movie then this is for you. Don't waste your time like I did watching this.

The most hardcore bad film buff will be surprised by the overall ineptness of this grade-z "film". Mary Woronov, a clever actress best known for her roles as Mary Bland in Eating Raoul and Miss Togar in Rock 'N' Roll High School, is by far the best thing about this tripe. This film is almost too bad even for MST3K - honestly!

Mary Woronov and the chick that plays Selina (the bitch of the group) were the saving graces of this movie. There is barely any blood, the acting is bad, the killings are off screen, but on the other hand it has a couple of funny moments, topless nudity, it has a high body count and a lot of good one-liners. See it, you'll laugh a lot.

The acting is mostly horrid, the plot is pretty lame, and the ending is pathetic. Yet...it does have a certain charm about it, it's almost so bad that it's kinda good. It's at times more of a comedy than a horror movie, just listen to some of the lines and sound effects. It reminded me a lot at times of the comedy/horror spoof movie "Student Bodies". I like the early electronica music that runs throughout the film, it's repetitive but effective, I would compare it as very similar to the music from the first "Slumber Party Massacre" film. I think if the killings would have been a little more realistic and unique, and that if the ending would have been a lot better and explained things this could have been a more highly regarded film. It would have also helped if the movie was about 10 minutes longer in length, 75 minutes did seem quite short watching it...

I stumbled upon the 1984 horror movie "Blood Theatre" by random luck here in 2024. And of course I opted to sit down and watch it, since it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen before, nor actually heard about. And the fact that Mary Woronov was on the cast list, definitely was a plus.

Writer and director Rick Sloane delivered a very stale script for the movie. It felt like a farce at times, because it was so cliché and generic. In fact, it felt like something that was either taken out of the 1970s and dressed up in a 1984 outfit or something that was an homage to the old Lucio Fulco movies, given the way it looked and sounded.

Regardless of what "Blood Theatre" was supposed to be, then it wasn't a movie that particularly entertained me much. It was somewhat of a struggle to sit through.

Of the entire cast ensemble in the movie, then I was only familiar with Mary Woronov. The acting performances in "Blood Theatre" was nothing to write home about.

If you enjoy horror movies, then this movie is hardly something you should rush out and get to watch. And it definitely isn't a movie that will grace my screen a second time.

My rating of "Blood Theatre", from writer and director Rick Sloane, lands on a three out of ten stars.