Solarbabies

"Solarbabies" apparently wasn't given much of a theatrical release by MGM. After seeing the movie, I can understand why they apparently decided to cut their losses. To be fair, the outdoor locations are pretty eye-catching (the movie was shot in Spain), and the sets look like some serious money and time was spent on their construction. But aside from those things, there's not much more praiseworthy to bring up. The movie is really confusing at times, with several plot points brought up so suddenly in the narrative that I'm pretty confident I'm correct in thinking the movie was severely cut in the editing room, taking away the introduction and explanation to these plot points. Despite this editing, there are still plenty of ridiculous things to be found in the movie, like the youths getting around in this post-apocalypse world on roller-skates. But most of these ridiculous things are just mildly amusing, not insane enough to make this worth seeing on a camp level. Will anyone like it? Well, I have an idea that (very young) kids - especially kids who have not seem many better fantasy movies - might get some enjoyment out of it, but I'm sure they'll still question a lot of the movie's incoherent moments.

I remember when I first saw this film, I must have been about six years old (1990 or so), I thought this film was amazing at that time. I've since watched it several times as an adult and all I can do is laugh at every serious scene in this movie. This film is about a future in which roller skates apparently make a huge come back. All of the worlds water (or most of it anyway) is being stored in a building about the size of Yankee stadium. There is no rain because apparently there is also no such thing as evaporation (although plenty of the cast are sweating throughout the film). All animals except a few birds and a couple of attack dogs are dead (or hiding really well ^_^). All plant life is dead and gone which means two things, No salad, and oxygen must be supplied by planet Druidia! My favorite scene in the whole movie is when "Rabbit" dare I say the only back person left alive on the planet, does a very non-offensive Harlem Globe Trotters routine with the "Sphere of Longiness". You will enjoy this movie if you want some chuckles, please watch it and, "Enjoy a decent life grid!" (That line cracks me up!)

I only write reviews of movies with low rating, which actually are not that bad. Give them a chance!

If you like apocalypse / post-apocalypse and you are aware that this is a teenage movie, I don't know why you wouldn't like it! It is really cool, story is good, they made an effort to create post-apocalyptic world and everything else works fine. Kids are not acting well, that I must admit, but they are kids... and pretty much all other 80s teenage movies have the same problem, but that does not mean Solarbabies should have 4.8 ( as in this moment ). It is a solid movie, and if you like apocalypse I am sure that you will like this one, too.

6/10

This film is a riot. It's badness is epic. It is hard to know where to begin in terms of describing the experience of Solarbabies, but one could start by saying that a central episode involves a chase scene of children dramatically escaping from a futuristic special-forces police force by ROLLER SKATING through the DESERT. I am not making this up.

The completely random plot and incredulously goofy bonding/friendship scenes between the child-prisoners and their glowing-ball alien friend could only have been the product of coked-out brainstorming sessions of Hollywood types in the 80s.

Are children lovable prisoners of a Nazi-Fetish, post-apocalyptic corporation/government agency that inexplicably decides to profit by running a child-labor camp in the desert? Check. Are the children also forced to play an arena sport involving roller skates? Check. Does a glowing alien ball appear randomly and befriend the children, with no apparent connection to anything else in the film? Check. Do the children breakdance with the glowing alien ball-friend? Check. Does the glowing alien ball require the children to escape the prison and go on a quest? Yep. Do the children "escape" simply by roller-skating away from the "prison" (through a desert)? Um, yes. Does the glowing alien ball-friend require the children to join hands in a ritualized new-age circle of friendship/love in order to achieve its full glowing alien ball powers? You betcha.

If this movie were any better, I would give it one star. But it charges so far past the normal constraints of the badness boundaries that it comes out on the other side and emerges as something that is actually pretty entertaining and fairly compelling. The bar starts out low, but the filmmakers just keep on lowering it, going way past the zero point, and actually discovering new ways to make a bad movie worse. It is like art in reverse.

After about 20 years of having little more than vague memories of this movie rollerskating about in my head, I finally broke down and re-watched Solarbabies.

All I can say is, well, bless them for trying. It really isn't a BAD movie... it does manage to be entertaining even though it occasionally drags. The only problem is that it borrows a lot from other movies and never seems to decide on a style of its own.

Overall I didn't feel as drawn in to the story as I'd hoped, but despite the somewhat vague plot and generic characters, it was still good fun. And if nothing else, it teaches us that all we really need to set things right in the world are friendship and roller skating. And maybe a magic ball from outer space.