Sorority House Massacre

Listen, I've suffered through a lot of bad movies in my day, but the exciting thing about them is that, sometimes, they're so awful they almost turn into bizarre comedies full of weird line readings, insane dialogue, completely inhuman responses to big twists, etc. For me, the worst thing a film can do is be boring or mundane without a single inspired moment and, honestly, most bad films are usually far from boring.

This brings me to Sorority House Massacre - a film so dull, passionless, and lacking in anything remotely resembling excitement that I'm surprised I remembered it enough to give this review.

It manages to cram the plots of Halloween and A Nightmare on Elm Street into one, but it does absolutely nothing of note. Usually, in even the worst of slasher films, there's a character or death scene or two worth remembering, but there's absolutely nothing to latch onto here. It's all just going through the motions.

If you value your time, skip it.

Sorority House Massacre isn't too bad at all, but there is nothing original or fresh about it either. The basic plot is the same as Halloween (killer from an asylum escapes in search of his sister) and borrows a little from Nightmare On Elm Street (lots of weird nightmares about the killer). The nightmares don't really add much to the film, so I think it would have been better if they had been left out. The build up to the climax is a little slow, but once the action kicks in there are surprisingly a few tense moments, such as when the killer tries to climb in through the window.

Overall, Sorority House Massacre is just an average slasher flick. Watchable, but not very original. Also not very gory, so gore-hounds should look elsewhere.

Sorority House Massacre could be forgiven for shamelessly aping other horror films such as Halloween (and it's first sequel) and The Eyes of Laura Mars, but it has the audacity to bring absolutely nothing original to the plate at all which makes the whole film feel like watching paint dry.

In the film, we have a young sorority girl plagued with visions of her insane brother who killed her family and, now, wants to come after her and her sorority friends after breaking out of an asylum. Clearly, not the most original plot in the world, but if Sorority House Massacre had at least attempted to bring in some fresh characterizations, interesting dialogue, or maybe an inspired sequence of suspense or two, it wouldn't have felt so stale.

Mad killer escapes from an insane asylum and goes after his sister (does this remind you of anything?), with whom he shares an unexplained telepathic link. This film is not too bad of its type, but it's just too derivative of both "Halloween" and "Nightmare on Elm Street" (there are many ominous dream sequences). The main heroine is fairly engaging, but the rest of the characters are almost indistinguishable from one another (and the men are badly acted, too). (**)

"Sorority House Massacre" (1986) combines the plot of "Halloween" (psycho killer escapes asylum and goes after his little sister) with the sorority house setting of "The House on Sorority Row" (1983) and "Black Christmas" (1974). But the production values are subpar by comparison, sparking some to call it the worst 80's slasher film.

It's true that the movie starts shaky with filmmaking akin to an old soap opera, but it builds some suspense in the second half. And there are a few gems, like when Beth's sorta-date (the short, dark-haired guy) says, "I just like being with you." This shows that the writer actually put in some effort despite the Grade B (or Grade C) production values. The fact that there's no camp and everything plays out deadly seriously is a plus.

The film is short and sweet at 1 hour, 14 minutes; it was shot in Los Angeles.

GRADE: C