Star Crystal

Set in 2032, as missions from Earth are being sent to explore Mars. After two groups of astronauts are mysteriously killed following the discovery of strange artifacts on the martian surface, the crew of the SC-37 go in to try and find out what happened. They soon learn what became of their predecessors when a bloodthirsty space monster begins lunching on members of the crew. Will any of them make it back to Earth alive? Pretty poor "alien" rip-off has lots of slime and gore, useless acting, poor editing in the "attack" scenes, and a horrible "Psycho" rip-off score (Man, that was so obnoxious!). Not worth your time.

Trying to explain this thing would probably take me longer than what it took the genius behind its script to write it, so I'll just say you have to watch it to believe it. Probably the most expensive thing they spent their self-evident tiny budget was to buy the model toy of the Millenium Falcon that they shamelessly show in various scenes of the movie (I'm not lying, they really do!). What begins as an Alien rip-off ends up becoming in some sort of E. T. parody. As I said, all too weird and bad. Very bad. I recommend its viewing, but only if you manage to get a copy for free.

My final rating: 3 Stars (1 star for the awesome cover, 1 star for some cool effects. The extra Star because of the Millenium Falcon). Zero Crystals.

Jeez! This movie was really bad. If I made a feature movie, this is what I would try to NOT make my movie look like. I rented it because I thought I would give it a chance. I saw it was an unknown sci-fi movie from the 80's and I was in the mood for some old fashioned sci-fi. This movie was horrible. It came out in 1986, the same year that ALIENS came out, and we all know that ALIENS is one of the best sci-fi movies ever. ALIENS shows that good special effects were achievable in 1986, but this movie didn't even come close! It was bad from the beginning to the end. I suppose you should watch it if you are in the mood for cheesy sci-fi and bad special effects. The acting is AMAZINGLY bad, the story is nothing but a second rate rip off of the original ALIEN, and if you really want to laugh, watch the ending credits and listen to that closing song. The singing is the WORST I have ever heard. Listen for one distinctly FLAT note that girl hits. Its just simply comical. You would think they would listen to that and at least try to fix it in the recording studio, but they don't even bother. That is pretty much representative of the rest of the movie, which appeared to be entirely done on the first take for each shot. I payed two dollars to see this movie and I want the production company that made it to give me my money back, plus monetary reparations for the pain and suffering I went through watching this pile of crap! YUK!

There's very little good to say about this turkey. A generally laughable piece of dreck, this film goes from bad to worse with one of the most anticlimactic endings I've ever seen. It was certainly unexpected, but that doesn't mean it was good. While I am a big fan of cheesy horror and sci-fi, I really can't recommend this unless you just have to see every B-movie that's ever been made. Don't waste your time with this boring loser.

In the year 2032, a mysterious, oddly-shaped rock is retrieved from just underneath the Mars surface. It turns out to contain a crystal and a pile of slime that slowly evolves into a predatory life form (named Gar!). Gar causes lots of damage before eventually terrorizing the five astronauts adrift in a shuttlecraft, a long ways from civilization.

If it weren't for the final act, which this viewer wasn't expecting, he would have been prepared to just write this one off. It's amateurish on almost every level (especially in terms of acting and writing), and director Lance Lindsay isn't capable of producing a sufficient amount of tension from the familiar, tired plot. (This, despite the fact that all the rooms on this ship are connected by long, winding, dark tunnels which the astronauts have to CRAWL through.). Ultimately, the story gets just a little too cute, which flies in the face of the nastiness that came before.

The characters are by and large inane, although the last two astronauts standing finally become a little more tolerable as they face off against Gar. The performances are absolutely nothing special, and in fact can be pretty abrasive. That said, the obligatory "first victim" in this is a hoot in her crankiness. Gar itself is a reasonably amusing creation; the creature effects (and especially the gore on the victims) is actually not all that bad. The electronic score adds a bit of atmosphere.

This isn't a B genre flick that this viewer would really recommend, although he couldn't bring himself to completely hate it.

Four out of 10.