Catch the Heat

It's hard to believe that acclaimed writer Stirling Silliphant wrote this lame screenplay until you find out that the movie's star, Tiana Alexandra, was his real life wife. He didn't do her any favors with this vehicle that failed to make her a star. Apparently she realized the awfulness of this movie during production, because throughout she gives a performance that comes across as being extremely p*ssed off about being there. Her bad performance is a big reason why the movie fails, but the movie also suffers from being extremely boring. There are only two (brief) action sequences in the first half of the movie, and those action scenes as well as the action in the second half come across as extremely flat and without any excitement at all. The only thing of interest in the movie is that it was filmed on location in Argentina, which does occasionally give a backdrop that's eye-catching.

If it were not for spunky heroine, "Checkers Goldberg", played by Tiana Alexander, "Catch the Heat" could be dismissed as just another mindless shoot em up to fill the drive in theaters. Her performance is so upbeat and entertaining however, that it overcomes the "I've seen it all before" plot. The first hour is the best part of "Catch the Heat", with "Checkers" kicking and killing "Professor Toru Tanaka". The late David Dukes is along for the ride as Alexander's partner, but his performance is completely forgettable. The same could be said for Rod Steiger, who plays a geriatric villain. The movie is not to be taken seriously, and comes across as more or less mocking itself. - MERK

Tiana Alexandra plays kung-fu copper Checkers Goldberg. Yes, this is not a typo. Checkers freaking Goldberg. Despite being 100% Vietnamese she is given this goofy name (What, Shamus O'Reilly was too unbelievable?) and even goofier starring role as any hint of real talent is basically her knack for slow karate moves and looking good in a wet t-shirt (apparently bras are optional at this police department). Checkers and her partner Waldo, (David Dukes who tries really hard, no really he does!) are sent to investigate heroin dealers in Buenos Aires that have been shipping the smack back to Los Angeles. Turns out it's Rod Steiger with a toupee so bad it trumps any international crime the drug dealing might incur. Steiger's Jason Hannibal is also a talent scout and that's where Checkers becomes acquainted with him as.......Cinderella Poo! What is it with these names? Turns out Hannibal is smuggling the drugs into the U.S. by stuffing it into breast implants. Why they would send in a woman with sizable knockers in the first place is a mystery to me. With all the attention, rightly so, on boobs, you'd think you would get to see a pair every once in a while. You'd be wrong. This is like a Fred Olen Ray movie if Mr. Ray had become a Mormon. Not fun. Eventually Checkers kicks and chops her way through men three times her size all the while enduring every sexually charged innuendo by Waldo who was not aware of what a litigious society the work place would become in the nineties. A sideplot concerning Waldo's feelings for Checkers is clumsily heaped in to add another layer onto their partnership. The "heat" ain't coming from the sexual chemistry from these two that's for sure. A movie by boobs about boobs that show no boobs except for the boobs who watched this. Catch a nap instead.

A tired-looking Rod Steiger was given top billing for this predictable action movie although his screen time is relatively brief. The story is unoriginal and most of the budget seems to have been spent on an exciting beginning and climax - what comes in between is extremely dull.

Unusually for its day, much of the action is handled by a woman and the film, despite all its faults, is popular amongst femfight devotees for the concluding scenes in which the sinuous but deadly Tiana Alexander, clad in skintight black leotards, uses martial arts to dispose of numerous opponents.

If you're a fan of movies of strong and beautiful women and also enjoy a taste of the 80s, this is a must.

I don't understand all of the negative reviews. This is a typical action flick of its time with nothing at all wrong with it.

Storyline: Undercover police woman has a task to figure out how drug smugglers and murders are getting away with their crimes. There's a nice romance subplot between her and her partner and their growth is endearing.

Tiana Alexandra-Silliphant plays the police woman. It's the only action movie she ever stared in and it's a shame because she's an excellent and realistic martial artist.

What I mean is that unlike other movies where it's kind of obvious the woman would lose the fight in reality, Tiana's fights are believable. And often, the big guy she's fighting overpowers her and her ways of winning the fights are believable.

Quick pros and cons: I really liked how the writers used realistic fight sequences. As a fan of 80s music, that was okay, too.

However, the guns scenes were a bit ridiculous.

Everyone had machine guns and used them like toys. This movie is not a gun movie though.

Every scene with Tiana was charming and her character was adorable and fun. As a fan of movies with women who can fight, you should watch this and you won't be let down. It's free on YouTube. Just look up "Catch the Heat 1984" there. Also, give this a thumbs up if it helped you, or down if you're an Aussie (I know that means "like" to you people).