Catch the Heat

It's hard to believe that acclaimed writer Stirling Silliphant wrote this lame screenplay until you find out that the movie's star, Tiana Alexandra, was his real life wife. He didn't do her any favors with this vehicle that failed to make her a star. Apparently she realized the awfulness of this movie during production, because throughout she gives a performance that comes across as being extremely p*ssed off about being there. Her bad performance is a big reason why the movie fails, but the movie also suffers from being extremely boring. There are only two (brief) action sequences in the first half of the movie, and those action scenes as well as the action in the second half come across as extremely flat and without any excitement at all. The only thing of interest in the movie is that it was filmed on location in Argentina, which does occasionally give a backdrop that's eye-catching.

Yet another of those not so brilliant films about the life of a female cop. This one however, is Chinese but American raised, and she is known as something of a Kung-Fu expert (originality!). Her latest mission is to pretend to be a singer from Hong Kong called Cinderella-Poo (!) in order to infiltrate a gang of drug smugglers who hide their stash in women's breasts and pretending that they're silicon implants (!!). This bizarre plot is further complicated by the fact that one of the criminal gang has been arrested by our heroine before, and shock, horror! Her commanding officer is secretly in love with her! How will all this be resolved? Does anybody care?

Well, 'Feel The Heat' is noteworthy for one thing. It features the worse use of pigeon English I've ever heard, when Miss Poo puts on her act of being an illiterate foreigner for her undercover mission. Nobody with an IQ of more than a single digit would be fooled by this pathetic facade, but these so-called professional crooks fall for it hook, line and sinker. This isn't the only situation where suspension of disbelief is essential, as our 5'5 cop policewoman starts felling huge bad guys with just one kick, and people can run for ages despite being shot in the leg and stomach.

But of course, we can overlook all that nonsense if it was actually entertaining. Sadly, there's nothing here you haven't seen a million times before in better action movies, with budgets of more than a few thousand. The gunfire, the explosions and the martial-arts fights will just inspire a distinct feeling of deja vu which will last till the ending credits roll. I can only recommend it if you've already seen every other movie in the genre ever made. And just how likely is that?! 3/10

"Catch the Heat" tells the story of top narcotics cop Checkers Goldberg - no kidding, that's really what they call her, played by Tiana Alexandra. After a bust she and her partner Waldo Tarr (David Dukes) get the name of a major drug supplier, Jason Hannibal (Rod Steiger), who doubles as a talent scout. They travel to Buenos Aires to take Hannibal down as well as any other criminal scum with whom he associates. The movie, incredibly, was written by Oscar winning screenwriter Stirling Silliphant, who was married to the Saigon-born Alexandra at the time and wrote the movie basically as a vehicle for her. It has a knowingly tongue in cheek, cheesy quality about it, which may satisfy some B movie lovers, but the truth is that "Catch the Heat" doesn't offer much that people haven't seen in numerous other B action movies. Still, it's not without its moments. Just witness as Checkers, in a fury, decides that opening a door by twisting the door knob isn't nearly as much fun as kicking the door down. The dialogue is often pretty priceless, and one has to believe Silliphant was parodying the genre at times. As a vehicle for Ms. Alexandra, it works well enough; whatever she lacks in acting chops is made up for with her spunk and sex appeal. (She looks cute and sexy wearing various revealing outfits). Dukes's performance is positively goofy, but Steiger ends up wasted in a rather boring villainous part. Still, it's fun to note the number of familiar faces in supporting roles: Brian Thompson, John Hancock, Brian Libby, and Professor Toru Tanaka. None of this is ever particularly exciting, but it manages to be oddly watchable just the same. The location shooting is one asset, and the obligatory pop theme song is good for some chuckles. One would have to be a pretty undemanding and easygoing genre fan to really dig this, especially as its ending isn't all that satisfying. Overall, it's not exactly "good", but not all that bad either. Six out of 10.

If it were not for spunky heroine, "Checkers Goldberg", played by Tiana Alexander, "Catch the Heat" could be dismissed as just another mindless shoot em up to fill the drive in theaters. Her performance is so upbeat and entertaining however, that it overcomes the "I've seen it all before" plot. The first hour is the best part of "Catch the Heat", with "Checkers" kicking and killing "Professor Toru Tanaka". The late David Dukes is along for the ride as Alexander's partner, but his performance is completely forgettable. The same could be said for Rod Steiger, who plays a geriatric villain. The movie is not to be taken seriously, and comes across as more or less mocking itself. - MERK

A tired-looking Rod Steiger was given top billing for this predictable action movie although his screen time is relatively brief. The story is unoriginal and most of the budget seems to have been spent on an exciting beginning and climax - what comes in between is extremely dull.

Unusually for its day, much of the action is handled by a woman and the film, despite all its faults, is popular amongst femfight devotees for the concluding scenes in which the sinuous but deadly Tiana Alexander, clad in skintight black leotards, uses martial arts to dispose of numerous opponents.