Deadly Illusion

watch the first half of this movie and invent your own second half. it had so much promise.

mr. williams and ms. fairchild get it going with what seems to be an actual passion for their pairing and proximity. and why not? mr. colt 45 and ms. seduction were the hot and bother of their decade, and even if it would be a few more years before ms. sciorra and mr. snipes mixed it up in JUNGLE FEVER, the dams were ready to break. vanity fans will also not be disappointed. if you are souring from the aftertaste of lando calrissian in RETURN OF THE JEDI, this is good tonic. the best visuals of the movie are when mr. williams plants his lower body and delivers a punch. other action stars should study this, but alas, not everyone can move with the authoritative and accessible grace of billy dee.

ms. fairchild's fans will not like ms. fairchild in liza minelli hair, but she has her moments on screen and returns to familiar coiffure and stature soon enough. her moments make good excerpts, like cuttings from a magazine. ms. vanity, in contrast, flows more happily with the film's main stream.

the deadly illusion in this case is the illusion that mr. cohen had an ending to the film when he pitched the beginning. and no, neither this title nor its alternate title has anything to do with the story.

Billy Dee Williams plays Hamberger, the rogue private detective who gets the girl(s) and solves the case. You really don't need to know more, as this is the entire movie! Morgan Fairchild is still beautiful, even with the 80's big hair look. The plot line had initial promise - Hamberger is approached by an unknown person to kill that persons wife. This person and the wife both turn out to be other than advertised, but there the story started to lose my interest. Gratuitous sex and violence have always been par for the course in Hollywood of course. Here, the obvious intent to sell tickets with this fare, as well as - admittedly - one of the hottest actresses of the time, soured me.

This film essentially begins with a New York City private detective known simply by the last name of "Hamberger" (Billy Dee Williams) being offered $100,000 by a rich man named "Alex Burton" (Dennis Hallahan) to kill his wife. Although he has no intention of doing going through with it, Hamberger accepts a down payment of $25,000 and then heads out to the house where the man's wife lives. When he gets there, he tells "Sharon Burton" (Morgan Fairchild) of her husband's murderous plans and, after spending the night with her, returns to his apartment. Not long after that he is arrested for the murder of Sharon Burton. However, upon being taken to the morgue he meets the real "Alex Burton" (now played by John Beck) and discovers that the body identified as being that of Sharon Burton is not the same woman he met at the house. And since his prints have been recovered from that house, he realizes that he has been set up. To that effect, he is given only a couple of days to find the real killer or be charged with the crime. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that-considering the cast-I honestly expected this to be a better movie than it actually turned out to be. As it was, the acting wasn't that good and the plot was so completely unrealistic that it was nothing short of laughable. That being said, I cannot in good conscience rate this film any higher than I have. Slightly below average.

I was hired as an extra and was waiting on the set for the day to start when Cohen called me over. "Hey kid - you an actor?" I thought, well that's why I'm here, but he added "I mean can you do lines?" I said sure, and he handed me two pages and said "Learn this." It was the Assistant District Attorney's scene with Billy Dee William's character - and I was beside myself with excitement - and fear, as it included a fairly long rip-him-a-new-one monologue. Apparently, the actor they'd hired was a no show. But about 15 minutes into my "star is born" opportunity, the actor showed - he'd been stuck in traffic. The director promised to "throw me a bone", and I ended up upgraded to playing the dead body on the slab next to the naked girl in the morgue scene.

Later in the filming, I came on again as Joe Cortese's stand-in, but had to leave the set later in the day with a 102-degree fever. But before falling ill, had a good time with BDW (one of the nicest guys ever on set) and playing cards with the Teamsters between shots.

Heard later that this film production managed to get the Staten Island Ferry stuck on a sandbar during filming - a first in the Ferry's history!

Those of you who remember Morgan Fairchild in "Paper Dolls" as "Racine" will note how similar she is in this role. She's a beautiful model agency owner. Imagine that? What a stretch. She looks lovely behind the desk contemplating sexy bad girl deeds while tapping her glamour length nails on the fancy desk. It's been done before, many times. Vanity plays, lets face it, herself. She walks about in dazzling hot outfits, she looks beautiful, she's sassy in her double-entendre way. Unfortunately, those things aren't enough to invest a movie's worth of time to watch this stinker. I saw this movie at the Mann Chinese theatre in Hollywood. Even so, the theatre's historic aura wasn't enough to keep me happy to be there. I wanted to leave, but I stayed, hoping for something original to happen. I waited, and waited... There is no Vanity song performance in this movie, sadly. There is an illusion referred to in this movie, thus the title. I wasn't deceived, and I wasn't surprised. I remember the luster of Morgan Fairchild's image during the 80's. If you are a die hard Vanity or Morgan Fairchild fan, rent the movie to say you have. If not, don't bother with DUD-ly Illusion.