Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is a definite cult movie. There's a chainsaw in the title, so I guess Fred Olen Ray, the director, decided to cast Gunnar Hansen. Hansen was better as Leatherface, in this he just stands there and seems very inanimate. I liked this movie for what it is, a definite attempt at cult status. I think Olen Ray's Soroeity Babes In The Slime Bowl-A-Rama is a better film however.

To say that this is Fred Olen Ray's best film doesn't quite cover it. It's the only half-way decent movie he ever made. The movie has - gasp! - actual characters you can tell apart from a block of wood, and doesn't spend - gasp! - over an hour of screen time showing said characters running around doing nothing. Furthermore - gasp! - the script is cheesy and entertaining in the best way, filled with ridiculous one liners and double entendres in a spoof of film noir.

The guy who plays the main character, "Jack Chandler", actually has a face and manner to suit the hard boiled detective, and the movie also benefits from the scream queen double bill of the beautiful Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley. Genre fans will appreciate Gunnar Hansen's appearance in another movie to do with chainsaws, though his "performance" makes you wish he'd stuck with the mask and apron.

The plot is something to do with a chainsaw worshipping cult from ancient Egypt - no kidding - who cut people up to sacrifice them to their deity. Bauer has a great nude scene as one of the hardware worshiping minions, hacking a guy up and getting her beautiful naked body sprayed with fake blood. She is so sexy right from her first appearance in the movie, in which she happens to be clothed, that it makes you wish other starlets in b-flicks could study her performance and realise it's about more than just taking your top off.

Linnea Quigley is also fantastic as the good girl gone bad, the role she was usually most comfortable in.

If you're a fan of b-horror movies and haven't seen this one, it's well worth checking out. It's typically low key and low budget, but the starlets light up the screen, and it's entertaining throughout.

A cult of chainsaw-worshipping prostitutes headed over by pleasantly plump guru "The Master"(Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen") are out to make human sacrifices to their god "Anubis" and cut into poor guys just looking for a good time. Jay Richardson (very funny here) is dry, thick-witted detective Jack Chandler, who's searching for a young runaway (Linnea Quigley) and stumbles onto the cult. The film is played out as both a spoof of film noir (with some Columbo/Perry Mason-style detective shows thrown in) AND horror films (naturally THE TEXA S CHAINSAW MASSACRE), and it actually succeeds! Of course, you also have to be willing to deal with some bad lighting and grainy photography associated with budget restraints, but that's forgivable, I think.

I agree with the mention of choreography--this has two hilarious (and damn sexy) dance sequences with Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley in the buff (the latter doing the "Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws"), that should please their fans. Richardson is a howl and Hansen gets a few funny moments in there as well, though he's not nearly as animated as the leading ladies or Richardson. Nearly every line of dialogue is extremely campy and whoever scripted this thing has a playful ear for puns and wordplay. There's also plenty of blood/gore (I think Steve Johnson did some of it), a few AIRPLANE-style gags and a great mock- Elvis song for Michelle to dance to. In short, a must see for fans of B-movies and probably Fred Olen Ray's finest hour.

Score: 7 out of 10.

This is the Fred Olen Ray of his golden era, before start making soft core skinnemax flicks. An homage to The Chainsaw Texas Massacre, with the original Leatherface (Gunnar Hansen) and a chainsaw duel between two eighties b-movie goddess. What more do you want? Some gore? you got it. Cheese? this is beyond cheese. Fred Olen Ray is a b-movie fan and here he delivers entertainment from a fan to all the fans. Hope he come back to make this kind of stuff. Im a big fan of his old stuff like this one, like Evil Toons and all that kind of stuff. OK, the eighties are gone i understand it but the spirit of it can live. I heard that he will make a sequel to this movie. Hope so.

"Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" is one of the best examples of those trashy, cheesy, horror/spoofs of the 80s (Toxic Avenger and Blood Diner would be included in there as well) that I so fondly adore. The movie is short, sweet, and to the point but I enjoyed every excruciatingly bad B-movie moment, which by the way, is accompanied by the corniest one-liners you've ever heard since Freddy Krueger. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers concerns (what else?) a cult of chainsaw massacring babes who use fresh limbs from their victims to serve to their "master" (I'm assuming this is where Gunnar Hansen comes in). And boy does he look embarrassed. One classic scene involves a nude Michelle Bauer messily hacking up some poor old sap while listening to Elvis Prestley. The look on her face is priceless. Blood, a wooden Gunnar Hansen, laughs aplenty, cheesy rock music, scream queens Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley (her shining moment is the "dance of the double chainsaws!") all wrapped into one...don't miss it.