The Lair of the White Worm

I'm not going to strain my brain trying to work out just what Ken Russell was trying to achieve with 'The Lair Of The White Worm', but he ended up with a semi-classic slice of campy, sleazy trash that is full of nudge, nudge, wink, wink smutty humor. There's absolutely no way anyone could take this one seriously! I haven't read Bram Stoker's novel so I don't know how much the movie has to do with it, but Russell takes EVERY opportunity for to show a phallic symbol or a puerile gag, and that, added to the tongue in cheek performances from the cast (especially Peter Capaldi, Hugh Grant and the delicious Amanda Donohoe), makes this one of the silliest and most entertaining movies you'll ever see. Donohoe is just brilliant, the monster is cheesy, the blatant gags will make you roll your eyes and groan, and there are a few extraordinary Russell touches in the very brief, quasi-psychedelic "visions" experienced by a few of the characters. 'The Lair Of The White Worm' is certainly not for everybody, but there's nothing else quite like it, not even in Russell's very strange ouevre, and if you "get it" it's a complete hoot!

Leave it to director Ken Russell to find an obscure Bram Stoker novel and take its most exploitive elements and turn it into a bloodfest of snakes, vampires, virgin sacrifices, phallic symbols, Christian symbolism and more. He throws in some comic book slashings along with some sly humor to create a tacky Gothic horror called THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM. It kept me awake until the last shot where the dimwit hero HUGH GRANT is about to find out he's made another mistake before the screen fades to black. This must have been the film that first made Grant known to American audiences.

He plays an aristocrat who is attracted to a new neighbor whom he later learns is a woman (AMANDA DONOHOE) who is keeper of a giant worm waiting to devour people whole if she decides to feed victims to it. She's played with delicious relish by Donohoe, who picks up a scout trudging along a deserted country road and must quickly dispose of him in a bath when Grant knocks on her door.

It's weird stuff from start to finish, but try to look away! It's typical Ken Russell overkill--or should I say overbite--since much of the action involves vampirism and some friendly suburbanites who suddenly grow fangs. Handsomely photographed in color with attractive settings indoor and out, it provides a steady mix of laughter and fright while managing to be entertaining despite the overly weird material.

CATHERINE OXENBERG plays the virginal heroine who falls under the spell of the demonic woman, at her best when forced to assume a vacant expression. PETER CAPALDI is excellent as Hugh's friend who comes to her aid before the white worm can do its work and claim another victim.

Silly stuff, but if you like the work of Ken Russell, you should find it extremely interesting to watch.

I've heard the complaints before, from men of all walks of life: "SHE wants to watch some syrupy romantic slush starring Hugh Grant, I want to watch something with hot, naked, snake-worshipping chicks!"

Well, complain no more! Here's a flick that's got both in one! That's right, England-cum-America's favorite foppish, eye-lid-fluttering sex symbol does battle with naked half-snake-half-human devil worshippers, giant white worms, and the forces of evil!

Well, actually Hugh only kills one snake-human hybrid, and it's an old lady. And he keeps pretty far away from the action-packed finale face-off, letting his odd shut-in pal Angus do all the fighting. But you DO get to see the star of "Notting Hill" slice an old lady in half with a broad sword, and that alone is worth the price of admission!

I enjoyed this movie, what with it's quaint, folksy atmosphere, it's kilt-wearin' heroes, and it's sexy villainess who seduces a hapless boy scout (!) into entering her hot tub of evil. There's even public-access-esque dream sequences where a Sid & Marty Krofft-type snake puppet molests Jesus Christ while nuns are tortured- and who doesn't want to see that?

A very strange movie, to say the least.

'Dr. Who' actor Peter Capaldi plays Angus Flint, an archaeology student who unearths a strange skull from the grounds of a bed & breakfast, where a convent had existed once upon a time. Meanwhile, the seductively sexy young Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) returns to her neighboring home, and more weird things are soon happening. It turns out, there is a local legend in the area, of a nobleman who'd vanquished a hideous reptilian beast - not literally a "worm" - centuries ago. Also mixed up in the plot are that noblemans' descendant, James D'Ampton (Hugh Grant), and lovely sisters Mary (Sammi Davis) and Eve (Catherine Oxenberg).

The director is Ken Russell of such classics as "The Devils", and he also produced and adapted the novel by "Dracula" creator Bram Stoker. So we know going in to expect a fair amount of outrageousness. Fortunately, this film never does get out of control, but it combines some sober drama with some very campy and sometimes hilarious horror. Clearly, it's not meant to be taken all that seriously, especially when we consider the crudely done fantasy sequences envisioned by the characters and the audience. (People who are easily offended will undoubtedly be put off by some of this imagery.) The makeup is amusing, but what's really a hoot is the beast itself, Dionin. Excellent location shooting adds atmosphere.

The actors, commendably, maintain serious expressions. Although he's reputed to refuse to talk about this film, Grant does a good, droll job. Capaldi is a decent hero who, at one point, attempts to attract a reptilian presence by putting on a kilt and playing the bagpipes. Oxenberg and Davis look appropriately scared, Stratford Johns is a solid presence as the butler Peters, and Donohoe, often dressed in very sexy outfits, does appear to be having some real fun as the villainess.

A truly frightening film this is not, but it's quite entertaining just the same.

Eight out of 10.

Supposedly based on a novel by Bram Stoker, LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM is an exercise in high camp surrealism for maverick British director Ken Russell. Russell crafts a unique film that mixes a solid mystery narrative with some terribly crude symbolism, some outrageously bad taste moments, and more camp sequences than you can shake a stick at. Quality-wise it's very poor in places, but at the same time it's rather amusing and, dare I say it, fun.

DR WHO star Peter Capaldi plays a youthful Scots archaeologist who digs up the skull of a god in somebody's back garden - as you do. Meanwhile, Hugh Grant is a splendidly upper class toff - what else? - whose ancestor was the chap who killed the Lambton worm. And then there's dangerous seductress Amanda Donohoe, having a ball as a femme fatale hiding a dark secret in the depths of her country pile.

LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM certainly contains some unforgettable moments, most of them involving the moments when Donohoe's true form is revealed; the makeup appears to homage Barbara Steele's character in CURSE OF THE CRIMSON ALTAR. There are some fun special effects here, alongside THOSE unforgettable nightmare sequences which are the stand-out highlights for me. The ending is neatly achieved and there's a nice supporting role for character actor Paul Brooke playing the local copper. Truly this is a one-of-a-kind production that has to be seen to be believed.