Amanda Donohoe credited as playing...
Lady Sylvia Marsh
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: [snatches a harmonica away from Kevin he played that briefly hypnotized her, catching her off-guard] That's enough of that, Kevin! That sort of music freaks me out.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Now, if you're sitting comfortably, I shall tell you why you must not be afraid to die. To die so that the god may live is a privilege, Kevin, and if you know anything at all about history, you will know that human sacrifice is as old as Dionin himself, whose every death is a rebirth into a god ever mightier!
- [doorbell rings]
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Shit.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: [as Lady Marsh places the game of Snakes and Ladders into the fireplace] Rosebud!
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Dionin has a propensity for virgins, Eve, just like your false god. Problem is, they're so hard to come by these days. Aren't they, Eve?
- Kevin: That's some system you've got there.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: How do you rate the music?
- Kevin: I'm not really into head banging.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Are you into any sort of banging?
- Kevin: I'm not bad on a mouth organ.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: [chuckles] You're sweet.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Fancy praying to a god who was nailed to a wooden cross, who locked up his brides in a convent. Did they really enjoy themselves, hmm? Poor little virgins masturbating in the dark and then in penance for their sins indulging in flagellation 'til their bodies wept tears of blood. Captive virgins, hmm, in the hands of an impotent god. Dionin will have none of that, Eve.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Oh, God, Kevin, you do have *appalling* B.O.! Save your breath... you've halitosis, too!
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Can I help you?
- P.C. Erny: Oh, your ladyship, I've been stung by a snake.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Snakes bite. Bees sting.
- P.C. Erny: Yeah, it wouldn't be a bee this time of year.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Hardly a snake either. It's probably a nettle.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: [sitting up a branch just like the Cheshire cat in Alice In Wonderland] Eve... oh, Eve...
- [as the unsuspecting girl looks up:]
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Eve, I feel so silly. I saw a little kitten up here that couldn't get down. So I climbed up. Now it's gone. And I don't seem able to get down myself. If you could just stretch up your hand...
- [smiling, radiantly innocent Eve obliges]
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Perfect! And I'll steady myself.
- [climbed down]
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Thank you. You look tired, Eve. You want to rest? You're weary. Come with me. Come with me and take your ease at Temple House a while. Come with me. It's no distance at all.
- [leads her off]
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Oh Dionin... who came forth from the darkness. Dionin, who dwelt in peace in the Garden of Eden. Dionin, who gave us the gift of knowledge. Dionin, who suffered the wrath of the false god. Dionin who was driven from Eden by the false god. Dionin, who was trodden underfoot by the Son of Man. Dionin, who returned to the darkness. Dionin, whose kingdom is darkness. Dionin, who makes safe our darkness. Dionin, who is darkness. Dionin the immortal, accept this, our sacrifice.
- [Eve grunting and panting, in a futile attempt to escape]
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Through darkness eternal... Dionin. Dionin, who came forth from the darkness, Dionin, who dwelt in peace in the Garden of Eden, his return... as pain renews bliss, as unsullied flesh is purified, as noble death nourishes divine life. Great Dionin, accept this... your sacrifice.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: [driving in a car] Look, Kev, you're soaked. We're passing my door. Why don't you come in and dry off?
- Kevin: It'll be getting dark soon.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Oh! Big boy like you, afraid of the dark?
- Kevin: No, I just don't want to be late for my dinner at the youth hostel, that's all.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Don't worry. You'll leave me well satisfied.
- Kevin: If you're broken down, perhaps I could help.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: No, I haven't broken down. I'm snake watching.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Well, the water should be hot enough now. So it's a nice bath for you, and then dinner.
- Kevin: And after that?
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Ah, the experience of a lifetime.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Tell me - why were you playing Peeping Tom on my property?
- P.C. Erny: Well, I thought you was being burgled, your ladyship. What with the flashing light and a strange car being sighted in the grove.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: My dear man, you should know by now that I change my car as regularly as a snake sheds its skin.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: [in black bra, panties, and thigh-high boots, rubbing Kevin's back with a loofah sponge while he sits naked in the bath] Bet your girlfriend doesn't do this for you.
- Kevin: No. Nor me mum neither.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Well, I remind you of your mother, do I?
- Kevin: No. N-not exactly. It's just that you're so - considerate.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: [in black bra, panties, and thigh-high boots, watching Kevin as he sits naked in the bath] Stand up. Come on. I'm not going to bite you.
- [Kevin stands up, Lady Sylvia looks down at his crotch]
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: My, you are a fine, growing boy.
- Lord James D'Ampton: I expect to be around a great deal more now that I've, um, come into my inheritance, as it were.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Well, I'll drink to that.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Ah! And you're going to uphold family tradition and slay the beastie. How incredibly romantic.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Some people enjoy playing themselves at cards, or even chess. My passion is Snakes and Ladders.
- Lord James D'Ampton: Playing with oneself can't be much fun, surely.
- Lady Sylvia Marsh: Depends on who's around in the way of a partner.