Memorial Valley Massacre

Wow - this movie fails on so many levels and yet for fans of real cinema "cheese" it is a hoot. See, a caveman has been living i the woods for twenty years and no one has ever seen him, but damnit, they open a new campground right near his hunting ground. And this Caveboy hates noise and you how noisy humans were in the late 1980's. The gore is laughable, the acting isn't even community theatre bad, the score is so bizarre and all over the place that I would buy it if I ever came across it - that's how unique and strange it is. Almost every scene starts with the "actors" literally waiting for the Action cue from the director and then they start the scene - so the editing is awful too. Lots of bad speeches - some of the script is Ed Wood level bad. My pals and I laughed at this one a lot. A real cheesfest!

This film seemed like it might be a good B grade slasher as I often have enjoyed them, I liked the concept of a hermit serial killer, it was false advertising. What you get is a made for t.v style movie, full with a bad soundtrack, mostly terrible acting with the exception of George who looks like Stanley Baker, and the Black groundskeeper. The other campers are a crew of Disney style bikers, two horny punks with a tease of an easy girl, two unlikable city parents with their chubby son who acts too flamboyant to ride an ATV, or be a thief, lone female camper who for some reason lived to the end of the film. Lets not forget about our hermit who is actually a caveman, that learned to make fur garments, and channel is inner MacGyver in booby trap making. The most laughable part was when the caveman was tampering with William Smits RV and it actually said flammable above a door covering the gas line for cooking, the cave man somehow knew how to tamper with it. Most of the deaths are cheesy but then this film was 1 hr 33 min of pause cheesiness. 1.5/5.

Plot = Memorial Valley Campsite has just opened for business even though it's far from finished. A bunch of campers set up camp, unknowing of the terror that awaits them in the forest. You see, a Tarzan-like forest boy does not approve of the recent changes in Memorial Valley and has decided to start killing the campers.

Well I can say that I've definitely never seen a movie about a killer caveman before, cheesy for the first hour in other words just ain't that good only one person dies during that time, however once the movie gets going the last thirty minutes is pretty entertaining as should they be seeing as how fourteen people get killed in the final half hour of the movie.

This is one of the last backwoods slashers that we got from the 80s and I think it's pretty safe to say that this was one of the movies that killed the trend. The movie is obviously very low-budget with a bunch of incompetent actors and an even more incompetent special effects team. The gore effects are ridiculous. Memorial Valley Massacre is far from a flawless film but as I said before, the final 30 minutes kind of make the first hour feel worth while.

All in all it may not be a very good movie but it's quite enjoyable during the last thirty minutes which is why I've given a 5 instead of a 4.

This is one of those typical late 80's slashers, missing the point completely. In the beginning of the decade, the genre had it's high moments but later on, as this movies exemplifies, the dynamic wasn't there anymore.

Memorial Valley Campground is set to open and it's money driven owner won't let a dead dog found in the well delay the grand opening. No water, snakes and a unfinished road are some of the other attractions of the camp. The son's owner shows up, after finishing college he wanted to do something more in touch with his sensitive nature. The charismatic ranger in charge of the camp, doesn't seem very pleased with the energetic young man, but he has no choice but to accept his presence. Soon he'll have other more serious problems to take care of. The killer lives in a cave, so cave boy will come out and provoke chaos among campers. His reasons, unfinished business between him and the ranger.

cave boy as gotta be one of the worse "bad guys" I've ever seen, a person just feels like grounding him, he's really not effective in his role. The rest of the acting is also pretty bad. The movie's score is childish and comedic. There's a couple of gory scenes (cheesy but worth mentioning), which may seem surprising because by the time they take place, you're convinced this is a comedy, not a horror movie.

Memorial Valley, which has remained an untouched preserve, is opening a campground. Things are off to a rocky start when a mutilated dog is found in a well on opening day. Soon, the valley's first campers find themselves terrorized by a crazy (and rather silly looking) primitive type who is ticked off at the noise and land pollution. So, everyone knows that many 80s horror cheesefests are "so bad they're good." Well, this one is so bad it's...cute? Yeah, I think that's what it is. Everything about it comes across as endearing. I don't see how anyone could watch this and not have a hilarious time. And there's an environmentalist subtext to boot. Fabulous 80s fun. My Rating: 4/10.