Robowar

Robowar (1988)

* (out of 4)

Maj. Murphy Black (Reb Brown) leads a group of men into the jungles where they can't possibly imagine what is about to attack them. Inside the jungle is an alien creature who will slowly stalk and kill them.

Plagorism is one of the most serious crimes that a writer can commit and often times it will end their career or at least put a black cloud over it. For some reason filmmaker Bruno Mattei ripped off countless movies in his career. Often times he would not only rip-off plots but also entire sequences, lines of dialogue and much more. With that said, for some reason Mattei is still a "legend" in his own way as bad movie lovers flock to his films.

ROBOWAR is a rip-off of PREDATOR but it also rips on ROBOCOP. The alien here stalks the people in the jungle just like PREDATOR but his outfit is pure metal like ROBOCOP. I can understand how some people would watch movies like this and have a good time with their badness but sadly this film isn't in that "so bad it's good" range. Instead, ROBOWAR is just a really low-budget movie and a really bad one at that.

The performances, direction, editing, story and pretty much everything else are downright awful but that's to be expected. What's so bad about this movie is that it really doesn't reach a sleazy level as the violence is rather tame and there's not much blood or gore. In fact, just take a look at a sequence where a group of men are shot up with some large guns. The men are hit with countless bullets but not a drop of blood spills.

The action scenes are all rather stupid but the ending is nice in terms of explosions. As far as the alien goes, it looks incredibly silly and it almost looks like a futuristic version of the killer seen in THE NAILGUN MASSACRE. I'm sure some might find a few laughs in how bad the movie it but sadly it's too boring to be enjoyed.

After the explosive opening credits -Literally, stuff is blowing up all over the place!-, ROBOWAR begins.

It seems that a cyborg has gone rogue, and a team of ultra-abrasive, tub-of-testosterone commandoes are dispatched to hunt it down and neutralize it. Into the jungle they go, so that everyone can wear RAMBO gear and sweat a lot. A definite PREDATOR vibe is prevalent, and it's obvious that most of our musclebound heroes will become prey.

Some scenes are direct PREDATOR lifts, adding to this movie's parody of that movie's characters.

Intergalactic omni-star, Reb Brown plays Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator, Major Murphy Black. Brown, along with his fellow performers, make Arnold look like the greatest actor who ever lived! However, this movie's crowning achievement is their quarry, called Omega One, that looks fairly solid. Alas, it speaks, emitting a squeaky, buzzy "voice", best described as C3PO shoved up R2D2's cannister!

Irredeemably absurd, at least there's something going boom every few minutes to distract our lilting attention. Plus, something hilarious happens every few seconds!

The idiot robot is a wonderment all on its own!

DO NOT MISS: The explosion / flying trousers scene toward the end! It's a riot!...

There was very little chance of this film not being badass. A combined rip-off of Predator and Robocop directed by hack trash grand wizard Bruno Mattei and starring veritable Colossus of kick-ass charisma Reb Brown in the Arnie role, along with Massimo Vanni looking like Chuck Norris and the always reliable Jim Gaines, and a script by husband and wife super-scribes Claudio Fragasso (Troll 2, Zombie 4: After Death)) and Rosella Drudi. Oh and our Claudio is also the guy in the robot suit, credited under his regular pseudonym of Clyde Anderson. Anybody reading this already knows whether this film is for them or not, people generally are either Mattei fans or have sh!tty taste. But for your sake dear reader I shall go on, lest you not be quite convinced. The pacing is the only drawback here, the film takes a little while to really get into the groove so during the first third there's mostly the dialogue to go on. Fortunately the dialogue is worthy of Mamet, my favorite line being probably "You walk like a ruptured duck" . Clearly a film that should be shown to screen writing classes as an example of how to get this sort of thing right. The action is pretty steady when it gets going though. Things tend to alternate between people and trees being shot up real good, and trees and huts being blown up real good, with occasional people being blown up real good for varieties sake. Oh and there is a bit of knife work, but I don't know that I'd describe it as real good. It's OK though.Basically if you like films full of people walking around in the jungle and shooting at trees with occasional explosions and a robot that speaks in comically mangled digital gibberish then this is a film for you. I like all of these things, so Robowar was definitely a film for me. It even musters up occasional pockets of genuine excitement and suspense in amongst the hilarity and repetition, with a climax that is more affecting than one might expect. There's no gore other than mangled corpses and a severed limb, and no sleaze which definitely hurts things, but as far as goofy action trash aimed at the undemanding goes this is definitely a winner. Not as good as the classic Strike Commando mind you, but in Mattei rip off terms this is pretty darned decent. Way better than Shocking Dark at any rate. So watch it folks!

From Italian trash director Bruno Mattei (Hell of the Living Dead) and writer Claudio Fragasso (who gave us the legendary Troll 2), Robowar is a blatant cash-in on the success of Predator, with a touch of Robocop for good measure. Reb Brown stars as Major Murphy Black, leader of a group of mercenaries with very silly (nick)names (Diddy Bop, Killzone, Blood, Papa Doc, Quang) who are sent on a mission about which they have very few details, but which sees them coming face-to-visor with a high-tech renegade humanoid killer robot called Omega One.

As the soldiers explore the jungle, encountering the charred corpses of victims of the malfunctioning machine, as well as groups of hostile guerrilla fighters, Mattei and Fragasso miss no opportunity to blatantly ape the aforementioned Schwarzenegger classic, with entire scenes and chunks of dialogue mimicked throughout (silliest moments: Brown throws his knife at an enemy and quips 'Don't move!', inadequately aping Arnie's 'Stick around' gag; Quang's utterly pointless sacrifice).

As with many a Mattei film, there are plenty of unintentional laughs to be had at the sheer goofiness on display: Reb Brown, in his blue, sleeveless, cropped T-shirt, who looks ready for a pride parade; the supposedly cutting-edge Omega One, equipped with low resolution pixelated visual sensors and a garbled Speak and Spell voice-box that Stephen Hawking would laugh at; the group of marines wasting countless rounds of ammo shooting at the jungle while screaming; and Quang referring to himself in third person.

Great film-making it most definitely isn't, but one can't help but be entertained just a little.

Ah, leave it to the directorial talent (or lack thereof) of Bruno Mattei to make me yearn for the Citizen Kane Reb Brown classics such as Space Mutiny or Yor the Hunter from the Future.

Think of this outing as a prolonged hike in the nature preserve. Reb is Murphy Black; the leader of commando group on a mission of...actually what WAS their mission(?) as it's evident that Reb himself wasn't even sure of. Heck, I don't even know if I'd let Reb lead me in a game of horseshoes let alone on a reconnaissance endeavor. No tears are shed on this journey as people are killed and you have no iota clue (or concern) about who they are or what purpose they serve except as bullet fodder. Thrill at the menacing Omega 1 (that reminds me to get multivitamins at GNC this week) as his state of the art pixelated kill-o-vision makes him...well, pretty lame. His 8 bit speech makes him sound like he contracted a form of Robot Tourettes. I can't be too angry with him as he helps to thin the herd thus providing a semblance of entertainment. Herr Mattei also had access to bio lab skeletons and you're bloody sure that he was going to use them!

All levity aside, many thanks to Smoke Manmuscle, I mean Reb for making this trial somewhat amusing. Whether it's his high shrilled helium-ated octaves of unforgettable lines such as 'Incoming, get out of here!' and 'Move out!' or his constant bickering with Mascher (less than Carl Weathers and more like Andy Richter's shady uncle), Murphy Black weathers the storm to the beat of a Casio laced soundtrack. Beware the true horror of Robowar: the cutoff shirt prone to exposing Rebbish midriff.

The horror...the horror....