Zelly and Me

I saw this when I was a youngster (8 or 9) on HBO way back in the late 1980s or early 90s. I was fascinated by what I was seeing. I felt for her, I didn't know why. I related to her situation, but I couldn't understand why. It wasn't until rewatching it much later in my life that i realized what was actually happening to that poor girl. Her grandmother would only dish out love for Phoebe when phoebe was in full compliance with her grandmothers wishes meanwhile her nanny, Zelly loved her unconditionally. Hence the tagline. "Zelly never made me choose between being loved and being me." Her emotions are in a rollercoaster of conflict between her two gaurdians. Which made me understand that I had a similar upbringing. My parents only gave me loving attention when they saw what they wanted from me and not who I was becoming. I understand this cannot be compared to children who suffered worse childhood trauma but this kind of treatment plays a factor on your mental health. This is how trust issues arise later in life, how one can become over attached to a superficial relationship, etc. And how you wonder why a child would come to harm themselves when they don't feel loved. In that kind of situation, feeling pain the same way one of you childhood hero's went through might be better than feeling nothing at all from someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally.

I wish this film was more recognized and had a wider audience. It's a shame it's not on dvd or bluray. I feel like this is a more important film to watch as a child of the same age as the main character Phoebe. The pain you see on screen is very real. It's deep emotional pain and that can shape you or harm you later in life. It did me.

If you can watch or find this movie I highly recommend it. Whether you endured similar circumstances or not, this will help you understand that that kind of mistreatment as child, even if adults like to say "this is nothing compared to-". This stuff hurts.

This movie has been a favorite of mine for a long time, but I don't know anybody else who likes it. What appeals to me is that the story is so simple but still so deep.

It is one of the biggest drama I have ever seen, but still, nobody dies, no ship goes down and so on. The drama is just the feelings of a little girl and a grandmother who "loves" her too much.

The film is very well acted (even Lynch is good) and the script is superb. There is an interesting reference in the film to Joan of Arc (the girl sees her self as Joan). In fact, the movie could easily bee seen as a Joan of Arc film.

I watched this movie once, but to me it's so sad. A strict grandmother who's only duty is to prevent her grandaughter from being rebellious like the girl's mother, never seems to provide enough love for her. When Zelly notices Phoebe burnt herself, CoCo fires Zelly, and pushes Phoebe into her parents bedroom because "she's now a big girl" and throws Phoebe's toys including her Teddy bear away. Zelly tries to rescue Phoebe, but at the last minute she and her boyfriend who attempted to kidnap knows it's wrong, and sends her back. Phoebe, must face the fact of living with her strict Grandmother, and with a pair of white socks makes a doll for herself. I do see some good parts in this movie, but it's way too sad for me to watch.

This film is simply written & performed, I remember this when I was a kid, I truly felt the characters feelings play out on screen.

Zelly and Me is a very good movie about a little girl's relationship with her grandmother. Isabella Rossellini is wonderful as usual as the girl's nanny, Zelly. David Lynch also is excellent as Willie, Zelly's boyfriend. With the relationships between the four main characters, the movie manages to intelligently portray real motivations in why people act the way they do when it might seem more logical to act in some other way. Zelly and Me is at times touching, but not overly sentimental. Everyone in the cast gives convincing, realistic performances.