If I Had a Million

Seven directors contributed eight episodes to this experimental film that explores how different people react to receiving 1 million dollars as a gift. The only things linking the episodes are the fact that the donor is the same person and that it is the same lawyer who delivers the checks. The result is in part dramatic and in part funny but altogether as disparate in style and quality as it is in content. Personally, I found the longer episodes (H. Bruce Humberstone's and William Seiter's) more enjoyable than the brief ones (e.g. Ernst Lubitsch's and James Cruze's). If watching a regular movie is a bit like reading a novel, watching 'If I Had a Million' is more like reading a collection of short stories where you arrive at the conclusion that you like some while others fail to impress you.

Eight directors wow! I think this movie may still hold some kind of record for most directors on one production. But then again! This is actually eight small productions rolled into one. Robert Altman's Shortcuts tried the same kind of thing minus the eight directors. My favorite parts are the Wynne Gibson/prostitute sequence- a gem, Charlie Ruggles & Mary Boland/henpecked husband "Gimme Your Check Dear", WC Field & Allison Skipworth/Roadhog! Roadhog!, and of course dear ole May "I Can Bake Biscuits" Robson in the last sequence,... Fernwood home for elderly ladies. You gotta give Paramount credit for trying something different with eight different well-known directors set loose to run amuck. The moral of this movie or 'movies' is the underlying theme of money. What would you do if someone just came into your life one day and gave you a million dollars as Richard Bennett does in each of the eight stories? This movie was released near the start of the Depression so it must have plucked then audiences' nerves. A million dollars was a dream for many in 1932. And probably a dream for Paramount hoping this would be box office gold. I wish this movie was made a staple of the Thanksgiving-into-Christmas season period just like that classic 'It's A Wonderful Life'. This is a great comedy to be viewed over and over again. And even though it's a comedy it has a good ethical theme. It just gets better with each viewing. Just pray for a vhs or dvd release.

(** Years ago this movie 'HAD' been released on home Laserdisc in the late 1980s-early 1990s)

What a terrific 1932 film! Paramount's expensive depression comedy drama is one of the very best films made in the '30s and both a poignant and hilarious look at life in 1932 America. If you saw 42ND STREET and American MADNESS and perhaps THE KID FROM SPAIN all made the same year, you would have possibly the definitive early 30s films that allow as full a view of emotions and community as could be found. The cast is astonishing.. all the Paramount A- level stars, 8 of the best directors and 8 truly inspired vignettes present a balanced view of ordinary people 'winning a million dollars'... and their next move. My personal favorite was the prostitute who just wanted a good night's sleep, unmolested, and in a clean bed. The production values are huge, massive sets and elaborate scenes, especially the short one with Charles Laughton... the attention to detail and the fully realized settings are indicative of a very expensive film. All 8 scenes are terrific, not a slouch among them, and the final sequence in the old ladies home is particularly touching. George Raft's con man sequence and Gene Raymond's electric chair scenes are real eyeopeners given the irony involved. IF I HAD A MILLION is a film to find and celebrate. How amazing to have seen this in a 3000 seat cinema in 1932! imagine the cheering from the audience in the comedy scenes! What a crowd pleaser. In Australia this film ran prime time Saturday night 8.30pm on Nationwide free to air TV, such is its treasured reputation. It scored a ratings hit. True! check The TV guides here for ABC2 Saturday night Nov 1st 2009 if you do not believe me.

I love this movie. I saw it once 26 years ago. Now I run a classic movie series in my community, and I'd love to find a 16mm print of the feature so I can show it. All I've been able to find is the W.C. Fields sequence, but I want the whole thing. Anyone have any ideas? Please e-mail me!

I remember finding the sequence of the prostitute receiving the money to be haunting and poignant: she goes to bed, sees she has TWO pillows on the bed, and gets rid of one. No way will she ever sleep with anyone she doesn't want to sleep with!

"If I Had a Million" (Paramount, 1932), directed by seven directors including Ernst Lubitsch and James Cruze, etc., is the first of it's kind released during the early sound era, an all star cast with eight separate stories. The central character is the supposedly dying John Glidden (Richard Bennett), an elderly millionaire, who would rather leave his fortune to various strangers whose names he picks with a medicine dropper from a telephone directory, than to his immediate relatives. The first name he picks happens to be John D. Rockefeller! (If this movie were to be remade today, it probably would be Bill Gates!) Turning the pages, he settles with the next name in line. The story to each beneficiary is told.

(1) Henry Peabody (Charles Ruggles), a nervous clerk in a china-ware store finds his paycheck is limited by him breaking all the china. He must also cope with his nagging wife (Mary Boland) who awaits at the door to get and spend his paycheck money. See the results when Henry receives his million dollar check by Glidden; (2) Violet Smith (Wynne Gibson), a waterfront prostitute, is given the check personally by Glidden in a bar, and after being convinced the check is "not a gag," she uses the money to sleep alone in a hotel. This short segment was sometimes the one that got the ax from local TV prints; (3) Eddie Jackson (George Raft), a check forger wanted by the police, receives the check from Glidden, but finds he can't cash it; (4) Emily LaRue (Alison Skipworth), and Rollo (WC Fields), a vaudevillian and juggler, are owners of a boardinghouse. They acquire a brand new car, and after a drive, they return with a car wrecked that was caused by a "road hog." After obtaining the million dollar check by Glidden, they purchase a fleet of cars and get even with the "road hogs," about town by having a car smashing day. Of all the episodes, this is the one most remembered, even long after the movie is over; (5) From the comedic standpoint comes a dramatic theme featuring John Wallace (Gene Raymond), a condemned murderer, who pleads innocent, getting the check shortly before he is to be executed in the electric chair. But can he use the money in time to get a new lawyer and trial? Frances Dee appears briefly as John's wife who visits him in prison. This segment is another one that was usually cut from TV prints. It's now restored; (6) Phineas Lambert (Charles Laughton), a meek little office clerk, gets his check by mail, and in his own special way, walks up a flight of stairs and goes through office door to office door to go tell his employer what he can do with his job. (Everyone's dream, I gather, then and now). This short segment, done mostly in mood and silence, is in many ways, priceless; (7) Steven Gallagher (Gary Cooper), a U.S. Marine in the brig, gets his check on April Fool's Day, and upon his release, decides to give it away to pay a back debt to a lunch stand owner. Although this is a so-so segment, the result is funny. Jack Oakie and Roscoe Karns add some comedy relief as Cooper's Marine buddies; (8) The most touching and longest segment is the last one with Mary Walker (May Robson), a forgotten grandmother couped up in the Idylwood Home for the Aged, who must tolerate unbearable rules and regulations by the unsympathetic supervisor (Blanche Frederici), until she gets her check from Glidden and gets her revenge.

Each story in "If I Had a Million" speaks for itself as to what ordinary people would do or want to do if they had that opportunity to have a million dollars. As in most episodic movies, some segments are good, others could be weak, and maybe one or two that could be best and the most talked about.

Frequently shown on commercial television back in the 1960s until the 1980s, with certain segments taken out to fit in the usual 90 minute time slot with added commercial breaks, "If I Had a Million," did resurface, much to the delight of classic movie fans, on Turner Classic Movies from July 2001 to May 2002. A video or DVD copy with complete story and segments can be purchased by going on the website of Movies Unlimited. (***)