Walter Connolly credited as playing...
Oliver Webb
- Mathew J. Clark: I've often thought I might like to devote myself to the theater. Would you think there might be a place for me?
- Oliver Webb: Oh yes, yes. Probably fill a long-felt want.
- Owen O'Malley: Oh, Max, which one of these foul guinea hens is named Lily Garland?
- Oliver Webb: Not so loud, Owen. We're discussing something.
- Owen O'Malley: Hey, listen, you foul Corsican, these are orders from on high. I just encountered Mr. Jaffe in the lobby, all of a twitter.
- Oliver Webb: Oh, is he here?
- Owen O'Malley: Yes he's here and he wants the pulsing life story of this Lily Garland wench trumpeted through the press by tomorrow morning. Where is the little baggage?
- Oscar Jaffe: Did you hear that? She's left me.
- Oliver Webb: Say the word, O.J., and I'll kill myself.
- Oliver Webb: "Joan of Arc." There was absolutely no excuse for that show. I told him so!
- Owen O'Malley: He's going to end up in the breadline unless he finds out that these jittery horse operas with a lot of people staggering around in foul iron suits ain't entertainment.
- Oliver Webb: I don't know whether you realize it or not, Owen, but I've always had a terrific influence with her.
- Owen O'Malley: Me too. Once I actually compelled her to admit it looked like rain.
- Oliver Webb: What we need is a play, something she can read and see herself walking up and down the stage in.
- Oliver Webb: O.J., suppose - just hypothetically, of course - that you, Mr. Bromo, could get together again with Miss Seltzer.
- Oliver Webb: I've let that egomaniac jump up and down on my stomach for the last 16 years, but this is the end.
- Oliver Webb: What is it? What' s the matter?
- Owen O'Malley: Hold your bonnets. The all-highest is on his way down amid a shower of meteors.
- Oliver Webb: I'm not talking to His Highness. If I was, I'd tell him something.
- Owen O'Malley: About what?
- Oliver Webb: About a million dollars' worth. A million bucks if Jaffe and that girl could get together again.
- Owen O'Malley: Yes, Russia and Japan might get together, too.
- Oliver Webb: If that egomaniac were in his grave, the way I feel right now, I'd take a rope and tie it around his neck and take him on a Cook's Tour. He's played his last dirty trick on me.
- Oscar Jaffe: The reason I'm taking you back, Oliver, is on account of your wife.
- Oliver Webb: I see.
- Oscar Jaffe: No need to have the innocent suffer with the guilty.
- Oliver Webb: Now, that Hoboken Cinderella isn't going to do. That kind of acting is for pins in a basement.
- Max Jacobs: You're telling me. She's hopeless! And the worst of it is that Jaffe's going to blame me for the fact that a lingerie model hasn't turned out to be a - Bernhardt. The more you direct her, the worse she gets.
- Oliver Webb: Where did you leave Jaffe?
- Owen O'Malley: At the Morrison Hotel under the name of Hemingway, which he's adopted in his grief.
- Oliver Webb: What are his plans, further than returning tomorrow?
- Owen O'Malley: He's going to shoot himself - with a gun.
- Oliver Webb: If he gets on that trapeze again, I'm going to hand him the revolver!
- Owen O'Malley: He won't kill himself. It'd please too many people.
- Oliver Webb: Do you know how much he paid for long-distance calls to Hollywood last year? Eighteen hundred bucks! And she hung up on him every time.
- Owen O'Malley: In some Humpty Dumpty way, that was true love.
- Oliver Webb: Yeah, Romeo and Juliet.