La battaglia dell'ultimo panzer

War film logic dictates that both Americans, Germans and the occupied French will all understand each other while speaking fluent Americanese. With this kind of co-operation, why was there ever a war in the first place? Possibly to inspire no-budget tank operas like Battle Of The Last Panzer. It's the tale of a doomed Panzer squad led by the clearly-insane Lieutenant Hunter (played by Italian actor Stan Cooper, real name Stelvio Rosi). His men know the war is over and are on the brink of mutiny, but Hunter, who spends most of the film with his shirt off and practicing his strange full-facial style of overacting, is determined to see his mission through to the last man standing. They bulldoze their way into a tiny French village and capture the sycophantic mayor and his less-than-impressed wife Jeanette, who despises weakness and sees something sexy in Hunter's bullish macho destructive determination.

Played by German actress Erna Schürer who spent most of the Seventies in more sleazy Italian fare such as Strip Nude For Your Killer and Deported Women of the SS Special Section, Jeanette willingly volunteers to become their tour guide, supposedly to save her husband, but after a while trapped in a tank full of sweating, leering Germans her motives are quite clear, showing off her flesh and playing the affections of one soldier against the other. At one point, Hunter peers up her skirt and says "Pull up into the underbrush and park!" Jawohl, mein herr.

Unlike spaghetti westerns, the Italian war cycle was far shorter, much less prolific, and produced no stand-alone genre classics, least of all this one. But Battle Of The Last Panzer from 1969 has the look and feel and musical score of a spaghetti western from the same era - transpose Confederates versus Yankees on top of the WW2 players, substitute a war wagon for the Panzer tank, and gatlings for submachine guns, and you have a Sergio Leone movie. A rough as guts Leone at a third of the running time, one-fiftieth of the cost and with a script rewritten buy a team of monkeys on typewriters, but a Leone film nonetheless. And with a cool red-tinted spaghetti western style shootout at the end, it's worth sitting through this interesting yet deeply flawed Italian-Spanish poverty-row production. So gather the troops and fire up the Tiger for another excursion into enemy territory courtesy of the losing side: the Italian war epic Battle Of The Last Panzer.

First the movie is bad, not horrible just really bad. The only thing that kept me watching was the girl(Erna Schürer)she looks like the long lost twin of Tara Reid. Erna is somehow softer looking, but a close copy. It turns out Erna Schurer is some late 60 early 70 Italian scream queen. She did all those sadistic/exploitation/well endowed nude horror movies that are becoming so popular lately(Italian grind house). If you have a 100min or so to kill, and want to watch a low budget Italian/Spanish anti-war(Vietnam)movie that is poorly written not very well acted, somewhat funny(although it was not filmed for any laughs), and has a better version of Tara Reid then Tara Reid herself in it...then this movie is for you...Andrew Wolf(II)

Contender for the worst film ever made!

I saw this movie for the first time at the recommendation of a friend. He warned me it would be painful to watch, but I had no idea how painful it would turn out to be.

This film (the English version I saw is entitled "Battle of the Last Panzer") is intended as a WWII epic depicting the struggle of a German tank crew, caught behind enemy lines, trying to get themselves and their vehicle back to German-held territory.

Other than that, I will make no attempt to describe the insanely fragmented and incoherent plot - you simply have to see it for yourselves!

Everything about this movie is just plain bad -- the plot, the dialog, the setting, the special effects, the equipment and uniforms, and the acting.

The star of the show is the Lieutenant in command of the crew (capital letters indicate emphasis):

"Any attempt at disobedience, or talk of desertion ... will be punished by DEATH!"

"As the Fuehrer said ... Those who are not with us ... are AGAINST us!"

"You have one minute, no more, to throw down your arms and get out of sight! After that minute, I'll advance -- RAPID FIRE!"

The film is supposed to be set in France, after the D-Day invasion. But in place of the lush green fields of Normandy, the landscape is arid and looks like Sicily or the south of Spain.

The uniforms are the best! "Americans" wearing Italian uniforms, complete with Italian rank and helmets. The weapons they are carrying are modern G3 assault rifles. The "Germans" are no better - they are carrying Italian-made Baretta submachineguns and pistols! Last but not least, their "Tiger" tank is an old US M-48 tank.

Writing these comments is proving to be almost as painful as watching the film. However, it's a must see. If you want a real shock, watch it right after "Saving Private Ryan" or "Band of Brothers" and you'll find out just how bad bad can be!

It has a great title, but the movie isn't worth the film its made with. The plot is awful and the story of a German tank crew trying to get back to its lines is performed just like a spaghetti western. I mean with the never ending, annoying music and stares of the actors. It culminates in a tank battle taking place approximately 50 feet from each tank. Of course the German tank explodes, but both occupants get out unscathed. The German tank with the American crew also explodes, but no one comes out. Furthermore, the equipment and uniforms are equally ridiculous. Also, the dialogue seems as though it was written by a 10 year old kid. Do not waste your time with this clunker.

"The Battle of the Last Panzer" was a co-production between the countries of Spain and Italy. Despite two countries collaborating on the movie, it seems that they weren't able to raise a decent budget. Although the events of the movie take place in France, the filmmakers stuck to filming in the Spanish countryside, which looks nothing like France. Also, the French village in the movie is obviously a thinly dressed set used for a spaghetti western!

However, the tacky look of the entire enterprise wasn't what sunk the movie for me. There are two big problems in the movie. The first is that none of the characters is sufficiently fleshed out enough so that we can care about them (or hate them). The second problem is that the movie is pretty boring. There's far too much talk and not enough action. And the little action there is in the movie is poorly directed so that there isn't the least bit amount of excitement. Too bad, because despite the low budget you can see the potential the premise of the movie had.