Atomic Train

Normally, in these type of movies, we get a simple plot where the hero defuses the bomb and the villain is either killed or arrested. Not here, which is the only good thing about it.

The bad stuff is just everywhere. You keep asking yourself: 'why doesn't he do this or that and save us some time?' None of the main characters makes sense.

The boy climbing down a ladder to help his dad finds himself stuck. The father, who is seriously injured, now has to pull his son back up the ladder using a rope. And what does he get in return? A ladder in his face! And so much for his dad, the guy's is goner. Killed by his own son. Nice thing to work with, plotwise? No way, the boy doesn't even care!

Mena Suvari's boyfriend is nothing more than a pain in the ass. He succeeds in getting injured even before anything happens! Then he just lays around feeling sorry for himself. Well done! The would-be-hero-dude (Rob Lowe) who pulls out of the rescue operation and leaves all the work to his college who (of course, he was black and previously unintroduced) dies. It's like saying: 'I'm a firefighter, but I have wife and kids, so I'd better leave now!'

I don't feel like writing anymore about this, as it feels like a waste of time. A strange thing is that I enjoyed watching it, merely to laugh at the mistakes and plot holes. So it might have Ed Wood potential!

O yeah: what ever happened to the black guy leading the firetruck parade?

4/10

Actually this movie isn't so bad for a Made for TV Action Movie. Of course everything was over the top and the acting was sub par. It was the type of movie that if it can go wrong it will. You keep asking yourself can anything go right for these People????? and then nothing goes right for them. It is just one of those movies you have to watch and let the mind wander and enjoy this movie is best watched if you have a big storm outside and you can't go anywhere so might as well sit back and have fun.

Of course there are plot holes you can drive a Steam Train Through. But what Made for TV movie doesn't. Some Charters are droped before the first half of the movie is over and you never see them again and you go through the rest of the movie wondering if they will ever show up again.

My biggest gripe of the movie is some of the actions of the Charters get them into the Problems they have. If only they follow the Rules or directions this movie wouldn't have had the same Ending it did. Just following the Rules would of caused the Train to have a happy ending.

But don't worry it is a Great time killer full of hammy acting and Cheap FX.

Working for a railroad in train operations as an engineer, I know how trains work. Several things are wrong with this movie and personally it surpasses what I know as being just plain stupid to reach a new plateau of stupidity and retardation of normal people which I've never known before. For example:

a - when a brake pipe hose between two cars breaks its connection, the rapid drop in break pipe pressure will cause a train to immediately go into emergency and stop. (in the movie they were trying to put it back together to try to stop the train)

b - when a train has electrical problems, such as even a weak battery, safety systems will cause an emergency application of the brakes. This did not happen in the movie.

c - I have never in all my railroading days seen a boxcar with railings on the side and extruding steel for a footwalk to gain access to the door.

d - when the train was creeping at walking speed at the top of the mountain, the people could have EASILY walked to the cars and tied hand brakes stopping the train. Even if all the hand brakes failed (which is an impossibility due to required initial terminal testing on the trains brakes before departure from a yard) a large limb from a nearby tree could have been used to stop the train. *I've done it while working in the yards using a 2x4*

e - when the engine was attached to the rear end and trying to pull the train to a stop, use of dynamic brakes couldn't create so much "strain" as to break a knuckle (the coupling mechanism in a coupler) as depicted in the movie. The knuckle part of a coupler is solid steel, and given the circumstances would be EXTREMELY difficult to break.

f - the crew on the caboose had control of the emergency brake valve on the caboose, and could have placed the train into emergency from the rear.

Though it may not be technically well done or sufficiently researched, Atomic Train is immensely entertaining, with excellent locations and good pacing. The special effects were actually very good, as was the editing/ sound editing.

Nothing much can be said about the mediocre acting (Rob Lowe wasn't bad, it was just the awful support), and the whole thing plays out like an extended 'Black Dog' with a different plot line as far as writing and production values go.

Still, if you feel like mindless entertainment for a Sunday afternoon, Atomic Train might do the trick.

Oh... no, wait. That's right. IT DID!!! This was on the "Rent three movies, get the 4th one free" rack. That should have been the first clue. I thought, "I'd watch anything with Mena Suvari in it." but, no. I'll never watch this again even if a later Director's Cut shows her wearing just a smile in a deleted scene. This movie, and ones like it, are a clear illustration as to why I usually fold laundry and do the ironing while I watch. Even if the movie sucks - as this one did, hard enough to pull a bowling ball through a garden hose - it's not a total waste of 2 hours. At least I got the laundry done. Oops, I need this to be ten lines. Okay, this movie, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, sucked.