Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels

Pretty awful stuff. Even though I thought I knew I was getting into a trashy trashy movie it exceeded my expectations of badness. The worst thing about it though is that it's just dull. I was almost falling asleep a lot despite not being tired, I was up for hours after it finished! Some people will like it, but only very, very easily entertained simple-minded folks with no sense of discretion in what they watch. Hell, I like a bunch of Troma and other low budget trash like Ankle Biters and Troll 2. Don't make the mistake of thinking that this is in that class. Those movies are actually funny. The thing with this one is that it trys to be funny and manages only to mildly amuse for a second here and there.

One thing, if you are a fan of fake boobs you will probably think it's great, as there is a fair amount of attempting to wax womens tits for some reason. Well, the reason being to show plastic tits for those that like that kind of thing. I'm a naturals fan, so this movie really had nothing for me at all.

This movie is one of the worst I have seen in all of my life (and I've seen very bad movies): it's a total incorehent mess, a comedy of horror that isn't able to bring out a single laugh from you. Even the several nude scenes are ludicrous at best. A movie that need to be buried into hot wax for the rest of time

For the record, I am a connoisseur of bad movies. Every Sunday I grab a cold 40 (of beer) and watch a bad movie with my buddies. I love movies that try hard, yet make you wonder, "What the hell were they thinking?" We've seen some great ones: Rad, Midnight Madness, Escape from New York, Gymkata, Breakin'...

From the title, Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels, I thought I'd really found a film with promise. Oh how horribly wrong I was! This movie is too bad to even laugh at, let alone with. It's obvious that they weren't even trying. I'm still not sure whether they were trying for horror spoof or just soft porn. Either way, they failed miserably. Even if you could tolerate the bad acting, inane dialogue, and incomprehensible plot, you still won't be able to handle the cartoon sound effects, flying fish in every other scene, and excruciatingly slow pace. Yes, it's even worse than Frankenhooker.

I've never written a review here before, but I felt compelled to do so in the hope that I can prevent others from wasting their time and money on this mess.

Oh merciful heavens, is this ever one of the most terrible 'zombie' movies to be put out there, for a start it wasn't even really about zombies from what little I was able to discern from the incoherent chaos that they called the plot, it was mostly just a lot of footage of very scantily clad females riding on motorcycles, and maybe to some that constitutes an enjoyable bad horror movie but nah, this was just rotten, there was no story! It's funny the way that no matter how many bottom of the barrel efforts you see there's always the glorious poop-diamonds like this winner here just waiting around the corner to give you a big surprise! The ones like this are truly the worst because they're such earsplitting pains to sit through and are positively bursting at the seams with stupid, and Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels is one of the worst most incompetent pieces of zombie movie trash I have ever come across in all my movie watching days, and so please, if you should ever have the misfortune to find a copy of this in some bargain bin somewhere, do yourself a favour and buy it, so that you may subsequently, burn it!

My only requirement is production value. I'm just not down with 7th grade video projects for the camera club. That brings us to this. This is just friggen pathetic. FIN