Milo

Except for fans of "That 70s Show" who get to see Mila Kunis as a child actress in an uncredited role, and "Providence" fans who get to see Paula Cale in a supporting role, I can't think of any reason to view MILO. The plot is formula all the way, with no twists or surprises. Production values are bargain-basement. The acting is competent, but no one performance stands out. Even aficionados of graphic gore and gratuitous nudity will get nothing out of this flick. Normally I cut these low-budget potboilers some slack, but even graded by their own standards, MILO is a failure.

This was the worst movie I have seen this year. The acting was horrible, the story-line was contrived and somewhat vague. This was definitely a low budget not worth spending $2.75 to see it movie. Don't waste your money nor your time!

If it wasn't for the very attractive Jennifer Jostyn in the lead role, I would have turned "Milo" off after the first 30 minutes. However, as easy on the eyes as she is, she's not enough to save this film, not by a long shot.

Milo starts off with a group of young girls accompanying an "assumed young boy" in a yellow slicker to a house in the woods where he shows them embryos in jars. Apparently, the deal was that if he showed them the jars, ol' Milo gets to conduct a gynecologist exam on each in return. One of the group volunteers to be Milo's "first patient" and he leads her behind closed doors. Moments later blood flows from under the door and we are whisked into present day. Enter the lovely Jostyn who plays one of the girls all grown up in present day. A substitute teacher with shallow confidence whose closest friend appears to be a goldfish, she receives an invitation to return home for a friend's wedding. Yep! You guessed it. Return to Miloville. Milo, who allegedly drowned years ago, seems to be having a dilemma staying dead and begins terrorizing and murdering the girls he failed to "examine" all those years ago.

Milo, the character, reminded me of one of the mutants from Cronenberg's "The Brood." He could have been scary, but just how scary can a villain be who wears a yellow raincoat? The plot confuses even itself and the conclusion left me wanting my 90 minutes back. I'm sending Milo, an inept slasher film, to stand in the corner!

There was more potential in this thriller, but we're left behind with the results of bad acting, no creative twists or story layers and weak dialogues. The musical score does lift some scenes up though and the overall look from MILO has a certain flaw to it due to the independent character (a "US" independent character). I've seen worse, but it's not worth your time unless you're a real fan of teenage slashers and the likes.

2/10

MILO opens with a flashback sequence involving a group of schoolgirls and a murderous young boy in a yellow raincoat.

Years later, we are introduced to Claire Mullins (Jennifer Jostyn), an elementary school teacher who begins seeing a boy in a yellow raincoat lurking around. As it happens, Claire was one of the girls from the opening. Has the titular terror tot somehow returned to torment her once more?

When Claire's friends start dying around her, it's clear that school might be out forever!

MILO is a somewhat macabre, ultimately silly movie that's far more humorous than frightening. The killer kid just isn't that intimidating. Of course, it doesn't help that his voice sounds like Bugs Bunny on helium!

Claire's neurosis is rather comical as well. She comes across as delirious from the the moment she enters the picture. Adding to the fun is Antonio Fargas as the world's most unlucky janitor. His death at the tiny hands of MILO is brilliantly absurd!

DO NOT MISS: The head-bashing, utterly bananas, Claire vs. MILO finale! It's hard to top a woman in half a wedding dress swinging a baseball bat at a mutant child brandishing a scalpel!...