Thunderbirds

OK..this movie could have been soooo good! All generations have been exposed to Thunderbirds and have come to love it and this film had some of the features one would look for in a good thunderbirds movie. The craft themselves and Tracey Island were realistically transferred to the big screen, whilst still keeping to the designs we fell in love with. Sophia Miles was, simply, fantastic, as Lady P and Bill Paxton, whilst not exactly who I envisaged Jeff Tracey being, was solid enough...but then the adults were taken out of the equation and we were asked to believe 8 year olds could fly 200 tonne machines.

It's not so much the fact that the movie was centred around the children that made me feel like Jonathon Frakes was slapping me with a wet fish and laughing at my hard earned money spent on the film, it was the fact that Alan Tracey was so obnoxious in the film and that he seemed to be as able to fly the machines as well as his brothers...who were at least 19/20. Seriously, these are some pretty damn simple machines to use if this is the case.

The film didn't seem to know whether it wanted to be serious or farcical. It tried to pay homage whilst satirising and it just generally fell flat on its face. 3/10 (2 for the machines, 1 for Lady P)

I can vaguely remember that I watched some chapters of Thunderbirds when I was a child, but I haven't got a clear memory of them to judge the series. I mean, I haven't got many references to judge this adaptation so I'm gonna talk about what I've seen in the cinema.

In this adaptation the heroes are the children, what it means that it's a movie addressed to the youngest people, with characters that are stereotypes and a plot that's rather clumsy. It's supposed to have some comedy touches, although I didn't found'em.

What's more attractive about this version of "Thunderbirds" are the special effects and the digitally-made sequences. In short: the kids will probably enjoy watching' it...

*My rate: 4/10

I had high hopes for this movie, but it seems the makers did not. They could have had faith in the source material. They could have hoped that preserving the wonderful legacy of the original TV show (albeit with modest adjustments for a contemporary audience) would have been worthwhile, and delivered a hugely enjoyable action adventure movie. Instead, they either did not understand the value of the source material they were handling, or did not appreciate it. Whichever was the case, they jettisoned it, threw away most of anything that would have made this a creditable movie, and re-made 'Spy Kids'.

If trying to be fair (and perhaps fairer than the makers deserve), there are two potential audiences for this movie - those who have fond memories of the original TV show, and those who don't. The latter group may find it passably enjoyable. They may wonder why anyone wanted to make a 'Spy Kids' clone. They may wonder why the producers think an action adventure movie for kids has to be ABOUT kids having adventures, when the rest of Hollywood has moved on and realized this need not be the case. They may wonder why they are sitting through a strictly formulaic movie-by-numbers flick with dial-it-in performances, promoted as if it's meant to be a big summer hit. But they might find it averagely OK.

But the first group - those who not only remember the Gerry Anderson TV show but remember it fondly - will feel sick that such wonderful potential has been wasted. Gerry and Sylvia Anderson created a marvelous action adventure fantasy world, with a great premise and endless potential. The show had warmth, humour, fun, thrills and spills and a unique tone which endeared it to millions and made it Anderson's biggest ever hit show. The producers of this lame movie have not only paid no heed to the spirit of the original (even telling Anderson that his services were not required), but actively trampled all over it. A modest tinkering with the material to bring it up to date would have been fine, welcome and appropriate. Instead they have comprehensively missed the point of the original TV show, messed around with the characters, invented characters that never existed and put them centre stage (Brains has a son?) and otherwise treated their source material with utter contempt.

It is a great movie? No. It's isn't even a good one. The first duty of any film-maker is to find a good story worth telling, and to tell it well. They haven't. The story is dull, flat, predictable and lamely paraded before us. At the same time, they have treated the Thunderbirds concept with disdain and contempt, and soured what could have been a great new franchise.

I just wonder what prompted Gerry Anderson to allow his name to be associated with this travesty; though I guess it must have been an awful lot of money. Everything about this film was so – so wrong and a total corruption of what Thunderbirds, the team and their FABulous rescue vehicles was about. This was not about International Rescue. This was more about the Tracey Family and with the exception of the first few minutes the only rescuing seen in the movie was the rescue of themselves from a situation preposterous in the extreme. This was "The Brady Bunch" with special effects. Being an ardent fan of the original Thunderbirds series, which was imaginative and entertaining (despite the strings!), I bought the DVD of the film for my grandchildren on the premise that they might enjoy it. All I can say is that I'm glad it was an "on offer cheap". If you are a Gerry Anderson fan don't watch this movie; you'll be frozen in your seat in total disbelief and dismay. My copy is destined for the next 'car-boot' sale – if I can shrug off the guilt for passing it on.

Once upon a time young children sat down with their Fathers or maybe their bigger siblings and they watched a show. It was a television program that held them transfixed with tales of bravura and technological wonders. Lots of young children dreamed beautiful creative dreams because of this show.

Fast forward to Christmas 2004. Lots of kids are gonna get a DVD called "Thunderbirds". The producers of this movie should get used to the singular "clang" sound because I can imagine lots of kids are going to toss this into wastebaskets the day after (or maybe the same day). They are throwing away the most thickheaded attempt at re-creating television greatness that this reviewer has ever seen.

I am not saying that the original "The Thunderbirds" was the best of shows. It was a puppet show for chrissake! It had huge limitations based on what we know today.

But then? If you were a seven to fourteen year old kid? The Thunderbirds was it! Jeff Tracey led and his sons followed, spirited and eager. Scott was the eldest and Jeff's "rock". He had Thunderbird 1….reconnaissance and remote command and control platform . Virgil had the looks but was so committed to Dad and the project. He had Thunderbird 2……the perennial heavy duty workhorse. Gordon, John and Alan had the tough job of being expert in all the rest of the equipment….all heroes. And then there was Brains. An unparalleled engineering genius and our little secret. As much a part of the team as any other single member. As much flawed and quirky as he was amazing and lovable. Brains was not perfect, but he was the best Mother Earth had to offer.

But the true beauty of this old show, the reason all of us got up at 6.00am to watch, was those wonderful beasts, the Thunderbirds themselves. Gerry Anderson knew that his creations were the star of the show and he made sure they were kept front and center.

So, with this movie, what the hell where the producers thinking?

Whoever was in charge, and I am not saying it was the Jonathan Frakes, had simply no idea. Obviously they had no idea that they were playing with an institution as opposed to a "cool plot idea".

The whole movie was two things…….a Spy Kids clone and a running advertisement for Ford……..and that's it!

OK, the technical stuff was there. I thought the updating of our beloved Thunderbirds was quite good to a point.

And Tracey Island seemed up to it. Had all the right stuff, except we never saw it work right.

After that? It was all downhill into the pits. And it went pretty low.

The script wasn't written, it was excreted. The casting was abysmal. The costuming was third rate.

As a Father, I would be embarrassed if my son said this was a cool film. It would mean I would have to explain to him why it isn't. He is gonna see the original series one day so I have to.

Whoever the mastermind is that concocted this mess should go away. To the producers that still own the rights? Give it another shot. People want to see the Tracey's solving problems as they do. Make my kids proud. Make me proud.