Noah's Ark

I saw the coming attractions about 2-3 months before this aweful

movie came out! i was so excited. After watching NBC's "Merlin"

and "The Odyssey" i expected the network to do the same for

Noah's Ark.

I had my tape all ready to record(and keep) this movie. Instead

when i saw part 1, i was completely disgusted!! The acting was

horrible! Some of the effects were cheesy! And most of all, the

writers screwed up the bible!! They completely turned everything

around! The scenes and script did not make any sense. many of

the scenes in the movie were not according to the bible.

After seeing a scene in part 2 in which Noah and his family goes

completely bonkers, i shut that VCR off and turned the channel!!

The actors for the most part were just terrible! Of all the movies to

act in Jon Voight had to act in this mess (all for money i guess)!

Mary Steenburgen(why her!!!) was just completely boring and

irritating; same for Carol Kane as Lot's wife ("I want to see!! I want

to see!! ) I do not know why NBC picked these and actors that

were in the movie.

Anyway, i finally had a chance to say what i wanted to say about

this "Noah's Ark". from a rating of 1-10, i give it a big fat ZERO!!

Don't waste your time on this boring trash!!!!

With all of the advertising, I thought this movie would be something that my child and I could watch and experience the glory of God on film, such as with "The Ten Commandments" and "Prince of Egypt". Yet, as I sat down and began to view this...... motion picture, I had to put my four-year old daughter in another room so I could prevent Peter Barnes and NBC from tearing down what God is building up.

I could not believe the way this film portrayed the historical first act of God's anger against mankind. The ONLY correct things in this..... motion picture was the name of the main character, and the kind of water vessel that was built. In the Word (the BIBLE), Noah's wife has no name, his sons are MARRIED to those women, it rained FORTY days (not one, and they lounged on a 'deck' for 39), there was no deck and no flag on the Ark, the water took FIVE MONTHS to recede, and there were NO other survivors but the eight people on the Ark. Oh, and by the way, Noah did not closed the door on the Ark - God did.

At the beginning of the movie, I believe there was a caption that said that the story was conformed to fit into todays' society. My God, this last day we live in needs the true and unadulterated Word of God more than ever before!! The devil himself was behind this project, and he used Peter Barnes to down-size a very pertinent part of end-time prophecy. In this film, it leads people to believe that God tolerates outright sin, and that is a lie. Shackers, alcoholics, murderers, and fornicators did not dwell on the ark, neither did INSANITY. It was also made to appear as if Noah's conscience was speaking in this film instead of the voice of God. The Creator of the Heavens and the Earth is NOT a punk, unlike His adversary.

So, the next time the decision is made to bring the Bible to the box office, please READ it first.

I now know what eternity would be like. This incredible mess occupied four hours I will never get back. My kids wanted to watch it. They liked the animals. I am no Old Testament scholar, but the way the script played fast and loose with the details, was really disappointing. I'm sure all of us remember Lot! He's the guy who left the city of Sodom with his wife. She looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. I never realized he kept her finger in a jar after that. I also didn't know that he later became a pirate and tried to board the ark. If Noah had gone up the mountain to get the Ten Commandments, I wouldn't have been surprised. You can imagine a screenwriter, trying to adapt about two Bible chapters into a four hour mini-series. Still, with imagination and effort, it could have worked. The characters are ridiculous. This has got to be the lowest that Mary Steenbergen has gone. Her character is a mawkish idiot, spouting 1960's June Cleaver dialogue. Noah, played by John Voight, is a buffoon, and then they have these three sons who shovel dung and complain. Except for Japhet, who is the artist. He sits around and ponders. One of them develops a ventriloquist act and talks to an orange for about an hour. The animals are superimposed using computer graphics but not very well. I know it is a mini-series, but visually it is awful.

Most of the film involves the Noah family sitting around being bored. There is this thing about not putting a rudder on the boat so they are floating around, as if they knew where they were going anyway. The Lord was my favorite. He had this silly conversational voice, somewhat indecisive and flippant, sort of like George Burns. The scene where the whole family goes temporarily insane is when I finally gave up. I am as open minded as the next person, but I'd like to hear some sort of justification for this mess. Was it entirely tongue in cheek? Did I miss the whole point because no-one was supposed to be serious. Oh, well, I am interested to see other comments about this thing.

After struggling for an hour and 45 minutes (including many commercials,) I concluded that this theological hodge-podge coupled with "B" movie Hollywood "glitz" was insulting my intelligence, plain inane, and boring. Jon Voight was much more exciting in Midnight Cowboy, Coming Home and Deliverance.

I hope we have seen the last of this one and the producers will not waste their time producing a video for sale and rent.

I must admit that the animal computer simulations were extremely well done and thoroughly enjoyed by my four year old grandson!

...are words that describe GOOD films like "The Ten Commandments", "Elizabeth" and "The Odyssey" rather than this terrible excuse of a mini-series. When NBC was advertising this "gripping" television movie, I was convinced that this movie was going to be good. I was comparing it to "The Odyssey" which was another on-sea epic. But that was the only similarity. "The Odyssey" was an excellent, captivating, ACCURATE true-to-the-real-story film. "Noah's Ark" was probably the worst piece of garbage that has come out of my t.v. What an insult to the Catholic faith! If you want a movie, that is faithful to the its real story, rent "The Odyssey" and "The Mission". You want to see a better performance out of Alexis Denisof? Watch "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" his role as the uptight Wesley Wyndham-Pryce suits him better than this the feeble character he played here. And you want to see an excellent mini-series this year? Watch the CBS movie "Joan of Arc". Now THAT was a good movie.