Ninja Terminator

Goofy, fast-paced and frequently senseless action, probably partly padded out from pieces of the director's umpteen other films, as was his custom. The plot is so random I never really understood what the significance was of the golden thingie everybody was chasing after-this is just one of those movies where you accept that "the guys in red will fight the guys in blue who'll fight the guys in yellow," quickly forgetting to even wonder WHY anyone is fighting anybody. It's silly in a good way, energetic and slick on a B-grade level. At times it achieves a kind of inspired giddy absurdity that is close to trash heaven.

This is one of the funniest films I have ever seen. The whole idea that the actors are intending to release a drama/thriller to the kung-fu loving West. I think if it had been released as a comedy it would never have been as funny.

For people that keep saying 'I wish I hadn't seen the dub' there is no movie that isn't the dub. Ho bought bits and pieces of unreleased and uncompleted Asian films, from Chinese, Japanese to Korean and mixed them together, with new shots of Western actors. There is no film other than the dub, besides the poor dubbing adds most of the humour, its one of the funniest aspects... why ruin it.

I'm extremely glad to read the other reviews for this film and see that there are others out there that understand just how awesome this film is. My recommendation is that you watch this film with a large group of friends and a chilled crate of beer at the ready; you'll never look back. When I watched it we blasted the volume nearly to full, and while it was kinda painful during the opening scene where a bizarre high-pitched squeal comes out of the mysterious golden case (pulp fiction anyone?!!) it soon became a mind blowing experience. THX or DTS this is not, but man does it pack a punch. In terms of scenes I was especially fond of the extremely long shot of the gravestone and bank of grass while the two characters explained the storyline. First class. The red ninja trying to jump Harry in his apartment is legendary - he just appears in his cameo ninja suit and mascara instantly and kicks serious ass. Jaguar Wong was also a treble hard bastard. I'd miss-heard his name and thought it was Jaguar One so when I asked my friend where Jaguar Two was near the end I felt like a bit of a moron. Still, I wish Jaguar Wong was my dad.

THIS FILM IS PURE CLASS

Can't really tell you a lot about this one as I watched it whilst pretty drunk. I CAN say that Gordon (Richard Harrison) was beset by mysterious clouds of gas at one point - created by what looked to be a small clockwork robot - (confusing for him in the extreme I should imagine). Oh, and his girlfriend is attacked in her kitchen by vicious marauding crabs - even Gordon himself looks a little unsettled by that one. I could be wrong but I think it might be VERY good...must watch it again and find out.

jaguar wong is the baddest dude ever. He's got more style than Cary Grant and Wes Anderson. Here, Jaguar Wong destroys the entire syndicate that consists of a Chinese guy in a blonde bob wig with his half assed fighting crew. Worst thing to ever do is rip another guys suit. Richard Harris also wears mascara and a camo ninja suit. The film begins with the most strange ritual that is run by a fat guy (also with mascara) wearing a red ninja suit laughing out of control while his students hit his arm with their ninja swords. He's protected by the Golden Ninja Warrior.

COMEDY