Robot Wars

If you liked Robot Jox for the sensational acting and amazing special effects, you're gonna love Robot Wars. Set once again in the post-apocalyptic future, our heroes are the pilots of the giant machines which defend the ill-defined border from nebulous enemies. Add in some female journalists riding hard on the trail of a nefarious secret, and some generic asian bad guys and you get what you came for: BIG ROBOT ACTION Robot Cheese at its best (or worst) Also see: Robot Jox, Crash and Burn

Some Japanese guy kidnaps people in his scorpion bot for some stupid reason and some douche bag who wants to rape a blonde woman must stop him. Not bad. Expected worse. What stands out is the special effects with the robots even though it's cheesy as hell. What lacks is its deficient story and plot. Not a wasted assimilation but I wouldnt get all horny over this $#!+ either. Just when its convenient.

This barely one hour long movie contains a lot of innovative ideas, such as a gigantic passenger-carrying robotic spider. Creative camera work in the passenger compartment of the spider really conveys a feeling of motion. The music is another pleasant surprise, as these types of films often lack considerably in that area. Considering the budget, which was slim, it should be considered an impressive production on the whole. The dialog is the weak spot, lacking the humour of its predecessor Robot Jox. Most of the acting is somewhat lame, partly due to the lack of dramatic build-ups. (Actually, creating drama seems to be a problem in general for the imaginative director Albert Band). The special effects are good, but in the spirit of the eighties. I think David Allen, who made them, is a genius, able to create satisfactory effects from virtually no budget. Anyway, this film is well worth a look for true sci-fi freaks. Only.

I have to get this out right away, the main protagonist was horribly miscast. If they were making a live action movie of the Simpsons then he would have been too busy playing Barney Gumble to play in Robot Wars. Now as for the actual movie. I am lead to believe by the VHS box that it's a sequel or at very least a spin off of the movie named "Robot Jox," a movie I vaguely remember watching on the space channel late at night a few years ago. Where in Robot Jox people were fighting with super awesome robots in an arena over territory, the somewhat counter- intuitively named Robot Wars is about peace time where all those awesome robots have been destroyed save for one now used for tours through the desert or something. Then the get some other robot and fight for a bit. I hate to rag on the main character more but seriously, half the movie he's drunk and acting like a drunken slob which may be reason to retract my previous statement about him being miscast. I don't want to spoil any of this cerebral story line but you can tell in the kiss at the end that the girl was all like "hmm you smell like cheep beer and bad hygiene"

I paid $.99 for the VHS tape and the only further value I will gain from it is having filler for the back of my VHS shelf so I don't have to keep a movie I might watch back there.

Lightly entertaining but instantly forgettable follow-up to the earlier movie "Robot Jox". The story has to do with rebels dubbed "Centros" who are a threat to survivors of some sort of apocalypse. In this setting, guys like Drake (Don Michael Paul) function as pilots of enormous robot spiders that both transport passengers and can be used as battle vehicles. Drake meets crusading archaeologist Leda (Barbara Crampton), and although they get off on the wrong foot, it seems that romance will be in the air. Soon Drake's going to have his hands full battling a megalomaniac named Wa-Lee (Danny Kamekona).

Veteran film director Albert Band ("I Bury the Living") took the reigns of this one for his son, Full Moon head honcho Charles Band. While "Robot Wars" manages to be amusing to a minor degree, it's of no real distinction. It's very much a good thing that it runs a trim 72 minutes long. The cast selected is interesting: Paul (writer / director of "Half Past Dead") is a good looking but fairly bland hero, but Crampton of "Re-Animator" fame is spunky and sincere, and Peter Haskell ("Child's Play" 2 and 3) is a hoot as your standard issue greedy corporate creep. It's also amusing to see the two villains from "The Karate Kid Part II", Kamekona and Yuji Okumoto, acting together. James Staley ("Sweet Dreams") supplies the comedy relief, and Ms. Crampton and Lisa Rinna ('Melrose Place') supply the eye candy.

The two most successful elements here are typically excellent David Allen effects, and a soaring music score by David Arkenstone.

This may be passable enough for B movie junkies, just so long as they don't expect too much going in.

Five out of 10.