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Teresa's Tattoo

  • 1994
  • R
  • 1h 28m
IMDb RATING
4.5/10
572
YOUR RATING
C. Thomas Howell, Nancy McKeon, Lou Diamond Phillips, Jonathan Silverman, Adrienne Shelly, and Casey Siemaszko in Teresa's Tattoo (1994)
SatireComedyCrime

Mathematician Teresa just wanted to study during the College spring break. But her friends, who want her to live a little, drag her out to parties. The next thing she knows, she has been dru... Read allMathematician Teresa just wanted to study during the College spring break. But her friends, who want her to live a little, drag her out to parties. The next thing she knows, she has been drugged, kidnapped, made a redhead, tattooed, and wearing leather?!? Her captors seem to be t... Read allMathematician Teresa just wanted to study during the College spring break. But her friends, who want her to live a little, drag her out to parties. The next thing she knows, she has been drugged, kidnapped, made a redhead, tattooed, and wearing leather?!? Her captors seem to be the most inept crooks ever. They seem to have a plan, if only she could figure out why it i... Read all

  • Director
    • Julie Cypher
  • Writers
    • Georgie Huntington
    • Marc Cushman
    • Samuel Benedict
  • Stars
    • C. Thomas Howell
    • Nancy McKeon
    • Lou Diamond Phillips
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • IMDb RATING
    4.5/10
    572
    YOUR RATING
    • Director
      • Julie Cypher
    • Writers
      • Georgie Huntington
      • Marc Cushman
      • Samuel Benedict
    • Stars
      • C. Thomas Howell
      • Nancy McKeon
      • Lou Diamond Phillips
    • 8User reviews
    • 1Critic review
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • Photos79

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    Top cast27

    Edit
    C. Thomas Howell
    C. Thomas Howell
    • Carl
    Nancy McKeon
    Nancy McKeon
    • Sara
    Lou Diamond Phillips
    Lou Diamond Phillips
    • Wheeler
    Casey Siemaszko
    Casey Siemaszko
    • Michael
    Jonathan Silverman
    Jonathan Silverman
    • Rick
    Adrienne Shelly
    Adrienne Shelly
    • Teresa…
    Diedrich Bader
    Diedrich Bader
    • Higgins
    Anthony Clark
    Anthony Clark
    • Mooney
    Tippi Hedren
    Tippi Hedren
    • Evelyn Hill
    k.d. lang
    k.d. lang
    • Michelle
    Joe Pantoliano
    Joe Pantoliano
    • Bruno
    Mary Kay Place
    Mary Kay Place
    • Nora
    Mare Winningham
    Mare Winningham
    • Singer
    Nanette Fabray
    Nanette Fabray
    • Martha Mae
    Majel Barrett
    Majel Barrett
    • Henrietta
    Matt Adler
    Matt Adler
    • Titus
    Brian Davila
    • Elvis
    Melissa Etheridge
    Melissa Etheridge
    • Hooker
    • Director
      • Julie Cypher
    • Writers
      • Georgie Huntington
      • Marc Cushman
      • Samuel Benedict
    • All cast & crew
    • Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

    User reviews8

    4.5572
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    Featured reviews

    2Calaboss

    All Over The Place, But No Place Good

    I have a policy when it comes to movies I've never heard of. 45 minutes. If a movie cannot garner my interest in 45 minutes, it's just not going to get any better. This movie did not make it past the 45 minute mark.

    It's an "all-over-place", wacky comedy that just never comes together. Somebody called in some favors here, because there are bunch of names you'll recognize, but it's all wasted.

    You can get away with doing some things outside the box, if you're a talented director. Tarantino did it with Pulp Fiction the same year this came out, but Julie Cypher is NOT Tarantino. As of this writing, this movie is over 20 years old, and Cypher has not made another.

    The whole mess falls flat, and the point came home when a shootout was punctuated with on-screen words like "BLAMMO" and "POWIE". It was straight out of the 1960's Batman TV series.

    I caught my 45 minutes on free cable. I suggest you don't waste even that much time.
    5Etoile

    Oh, dear.

    Why do you want to see this movie? Is it for the stars? Go see them in something else. Is it for the music? Go find a CD. Is it for the plot? No, wait, it couldn't be. The movie has no plot! What's there is pointless and clueless. But wait! The movie does have a saving grace: the CAMEOS. Melissa Etheridge as a hooker, and k.d. lang as (oh my goodness) a born-again Christian! Nancy McKeon also puts in a delightful performance.
    2bkoganbing

    Cashed In Some Favors

    Teresa's Tattoo was Julie Cypher's second and last effort as a director we can all hope. My guess is that Lou Diamond Phillips, her husband at the time must have cashed in a bunch of favors from his Hollywood friends to get his wife this gig as a feature director. Her first effort was a short back in 1990.

    A whole lot of people who came to prominence in the Eighties were gathered together for this inept comedy about a pair of doppleganger girls, one of whom dies while in the custody of kidnappers. Seems as though she's wearing earrings that contain holograph messages with data on the space program. Though who might have wanted it in 1995 with the Cold War over is beyond me.

    Anyway poor Adrienne Shelley who plays the dead original kidnap victim and her lookalike who some gangsters hired by the Feds (yes, you read that right)grab instead because they think this is a ransom snatch proves a good deal smarter than any of the people trying to kidnap or rescue her. She's a math major, what would you expect?

    This film is like a class reunion, look at the cast members, C. Thomas Howell, Casey Siemaszko, Nancy McKeon, Lou Diamond Phillips, Matt Adler, Joe Pantoliano, all came up about ten years earlier. Even Kiefer Sutherland has an unbilled part as a deputy sheriff and he could certainly be considered a contemporary.

    The jokes fall flatter than Dorothy Gale's Kansas plains, everyone looks pained, some like Lou Diamond Phillips who know they're in a gobble gobble contest make up for it by overacting outrageously. Lou looked like he was in dress rehearsal for the part he had in The Big Hit which was a much funnier film.

    Kiefer Sutherland was the smartest guy in the bunch, he didn't take any billing for this.
    5culwin

    Sigh

    If you want to see dumb people, see Dumb and Dumber - at least that movie's funny. This movie is a total waste of Lou Diamond Philip's acting ability (but may be C Thomas Howell's best movie). This girl is kidnapped but accidentally dies so her kidnappers kidnap another girl who looks like her. The kidnappers are dumb, the people who rescue her are dumb, everyone involved is dumb, and for some reason everyone has corny accents and overacts. This movie could have been good with some good writers and some good actors, but as it stands it's just another un-funny comedy.
    howelly

    Well if you want to see the start of the downward spiral of c. thomas howell...

    Like I said, this movie marks the start of Mr. Howell's nose dive into B movie land. It's a real shame too, now I read in an interview that he did some movies for financial reasons, and I have to say this has to be one of them, because the movie is god awful. What was Lou Diamond, doing there, and so many other cameos, you start to wonder what most of these people where thinking. This movie was probably out to rent right around the time, of Howell's last good movie That Night, go rent that movie instead, or rent one of Howell's better B movies, like the Sweeper, or something else If your a fan of c.t. I really hope, that one day, he can get out of b movie land, and get a supporting role, in a good movie, because Teresa's Tattoo, is horrible, avoid at all costs.

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    Related interests

    Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
    Satire
    Will Ferrell in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
    Comedy
    James Gandolfini, Edie Falco, Sharon Angela, Max Casella, Dan Grimaldi, Joe Perrino, Donna Pescow, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Tony Sirico, and Michael Drayer in The Sopranos (1999)
    Crime

    Storyline

    Edit

    Did you know

    Edit
    • Trivia
      Kiefer Sutherland appears in a cameo as a favor to friend Lou Diamond Phillips.
    • Crazy credits
      The beach-ball which causes the initial accident is credited in the cast as 'Rando Jr.'
    • Connections
      Referenced in How It Really Happened with Jesse L. Martin: Mysterious Death of Adrienne Shelly: Nothing's As It Seems (2022)
    • Soundtracks
      2001
      Written and Performed by Melissa Etheridge

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    FAQ13

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    Details

    Edit
    • Release date
      • April 6, 1995 (Germany)
    • Country of origin
      • United States
    • Language
      • English
    • Also known as
      • El tatuaje de Teresa
    • Filming locations
      • Los Angeles, California, USA
    • Production companies
      • Cinetel Films
      • Yankee Entertainment Group
      • Trimark Pictures
    • See more company credits at IMDbPro

    Tech specs

    Edit
    • Runtime
      • 1h 28m(88 min)
    • Color
      • Color
    • Sound mix
      • Ultra Stereo

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