Skyscraper

You have a cleavage-filled picture of Anna Nicole Smith wearing inch-long red nails and holding a gun. What do you expect? Skyscraper is a pathetic attempt to turn Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith into some sort of action hero in the tradition of the historic Die Hard, and the end result is ridiculous. Take Die Hard, reduce the budget by about 97%, replace the director with someone who hails Andy Sidaris films as the greatest things in the world, and switch Bruce Willis for a big-breasted blonde with no acting ability whatsoever. If you do all that, you get Skyscraper. What a joke.

This is not an action movie, it is a vehicle to further Smith's career, although with such a piece of garbage I can't imagine that her career was furthered rather than hindered. It was so funny watching her complain to her husband in the movie about wanting to have a baby. The sets were pretty funny, too. Remember the control panel in the building that the bad guys were communicating with the police on? That's why the budget from Die Hard could be cut by 97%. Cardboard and spray paint are not expensive, and I can't imagine that the film's producers actually paid these people for such pathetic acting. Skyscraper is a waste of everything that was put into it. Needless to say, it would be best not to waste your time on such crap.

Anna Nicole Smith gives a performance that comparatively makes Jayne Mansfield an Oscar winner. A disgusting rip off of Die Hard, including crawling through air ducts. While the plot wasn't remotely intended to take the viewer on an emotional roller coaster ride, Ms. Smith's only emotion seems to consist of whining. It is obvious she just read many lines from cue cards. The most telling sign of the enthusiasm of this cast was exhibited by the hostages, who when released, just sort of meander out of the building. More energy and enthusiasm is shown by most people when being seated in a dentist's chair.

The whole cast would have been better off if an earthquake collapsed the building on them. The attempted rescue would have been more intriguing.

The nude scenes were apparently just to exhibit her unnatural endowment. I found viewing her mammaries more humorous than erotic. Anna Nicole Smith strikes me as a rather pitiable creature of silicon.

I rented the movie for 50 cents locally. What a waste.

The Subject explains my point, and is the reason I caught a >look at it. She can't act, and the plot is equally as stale. It could do the trick for ya if you are wanting something pathetic for your next frat party, but even then it stands to be even to weak for that!

If you turn the number sideways, you'll see why I gave this movie an 8. Check the gratuitous shower scene about 10 minutes into the movie if you don't get me.

Friends, this movie is HOWLINGLY BAD. You'll laugh until tears flow from your eyes, not believing the sights and sounds assaulting your being from the screen. From Anna's non-existent acting, to the bad scenery-chewing performance of the actor playing the lead terrorist (just what country is he supposed to be from, Badaccentia?), this is prime Badfilm. There are a ton of explosions on offer, which are nicely photographed, but are so (I'll risk using the word again) gratuitous that the plot (most obvious Die Hard rip-off ever) can't be taken seriously for more than a nanosecond.

Everything about this film screams: "Don't take me seriously!"

On that level, the discriminating fan of bad action films will enjoy this heartily. Anyone familiar with the work of Andy Sidaris will be in familiar territory here.

I feel that this movie is best enjoyed under the influence of several adult beverages. I would suggest a double feature for a night of viewing, this film and David Heavener's KILL CRAZY(see my review of that film as well). Now that's some red-blooded American entertainment. Lots of stuff gets blowed up real good! Get the pony keg and the nachos, dude!

Skyscraper is by no means a good film, it is truly a terrible action/thriller but let's be honest Anna Nicole Smith is what makes this movie entertaining as it is.