Alien Abduction: Intimate Secrets

Soft core movie from Full Moon's Twilight division. Basically Meredyth Holmes thinks there is more to life than sex but then thanks to an alien visitor (who of course is a studly guy) she realises she might have been wrong. Fairly entertaining, good production and score (by Reg Powell). Largely well acted and Holmes is much prettier than the the usual cast of such fare though her main erotic scene is a long way coming - largely due to the fact that all her friends have to recount their own sexual adventures and escapades in order to get her in the mood. These short tales are a little tedious but each is different with a western scene, some bondage and various other things.

First off let me just state that I am a video store clerk. So I have seen my share of movies, good, bad, and horrendous. This movie falls under the last category. I first picked up this movie purely because of the cover. It was sitting in the Sci-Fi section, and I wanted to see if it belonged in the mature, well it doesn't belong in either. It's not a sci-fi flick, and it's too scatterbrained even for soft-core. How bad is it? It is so bad that my friend and I, couldn't decide how to even begin to catogorize this film Thus forth I have created a new category, "What the hell?" {A side note, the composer for this movie is Danny Elfman. Another reason for this movie to be in this category.} Now on with the plot, a group of women swap sex stories in a sauna. That's pretty much it, with who , I can't tell you without giving away the twist, which sufice is to say the only twist in this movie is with a slice of lemon. This movie is great if you like random nudity, and alien abductions, oh crap gave away the twist. Oh well at least you have the lemon.

As I watched this (actually half watched, half fast forwarded), I couldn't help but think it had to be written by a woman. Five attractive females, in various stages of undress, sitting in a (Romanian) sauna discussing sexual fantasies. Sounds like a winner but never got off the ground.

Women discussing there experiences being ravaged by aliens could have been extremely hot, but its all too "chicky". Too much time spent talking about their "feelings", and so-called "erotic" scenes that play too soft - a lot of cutting away on the good parts, nothing explicit, no pink, not even much "boobage" (disappointing, as the actresses are well-endowed and not the standard plastic b-movie chicks), not enough skin, not enough heat (save one half-a** solo scene, they never get it on in the sauna!), too much talking and nothing went anywhere. Imagine scenes with them being examined, nude, on stainless steel tables, or forced to breed, or being fondled and probed. Alas, we got none of that, just some cheesy Harlequine romance-type female blathering.

The movie could/should have been half as long. Any coincidence most of these actresses, despite looking good, never made another movie? Check it out only if you get it dirt cheap.

A guilty pleasure I have seen several times in late night cable, I confess my high rating for this sexy flick (calling it soft-core maybe a bit too much, since there is not that much nudity in it) cannot be explained or defended in a rational way. Four beautiful babes in a sauna, as they describe their somewhat similar fantasies, slowly realize they have been abducted by a not too handsome alien in the past. Shot in Romania, the cast includes Playboy centerfold Pia Reyes (sorry, but the voluptuous and surgically enhanced are not my type) but the one who gets more screen time is blonde unknown Meredyth Holmes, who is really very beautiful. The unknown redhead (probably a Romanian given her accent) is really cute, too.

This film was better than I was expecting. It is an intriguing mixture of softcore erotica and alien abduction story. The cinematography by Adolfo Bartoli is simply wonderful. The actings are decent enough and the alien character has a sinister look.

One thing I never understood is why girls never really kiss each other in lesbian scenes. I never saw a kiss between two women have the same intensity as the kisses between men and women in those softcore productions. Is it really that hard for a woman to simulate a lesbian kiss? Or does the audience appreciate the fake kisses? Not me, for sure.

Apparently, Charles Band was an uncredited executive producer in this movie, that being the main reason I watched it.