Demolition High

To get started, I gotta say I love my one-line summary. It works on so many levels. OK, with that out of the way it's true that this low budget "Die Hard in a high school" is moderately amusing, but even moderately amusing is like finding gold as far as Jim Wynorski movies of the past decade or so go. Poor Jim's last really good film was "Hard to Die" and that was 1990. He made three films in 1996: This, "Vampirella", and "The Assault" so trust me when I say nowadays to paraphrase Meatloaf, ONE outta THREE for Mr. Wynorki ain't bad. Not to over-hype this movie as it's still not as good as his movies from his heyday of the '80's, just that I'm glad that this film isn't a total turd.

My Grade: C

Where I saw It: Showtime

Terrorists take over a high school and hold everyone hostage, but the one thing they didn't count on was troublemaker bad boy Corey Haim! Pretty much "Die Hard" in a high school with Haim as John McClane, Alan Thicke as Sgt. Powell, and Dick Van Patten as the government man. Brought to you by wildly prolific hack director Jim Wynorski, who has over a hundred directing credits, including some respectable trash, such as "Chopping Mall" and "Big Bad Mama II," but mostly less respectable trash (i.e. "The Witches of Breastwick" and "The Breastford Wives"). "Demolition High" is on the more respectable side since it has so many name actors, which besides Haim, Thicke, and Van Patten includes Gerrit Graham ("Used Cars" "Phantom of the Paradise") as the principal and familiar character actors George 'Buck' Flower ("Escape from New York" "They Live" "Maniac Cop") and Jeff Kober ("X-Files" "Tank Girl" "The First Power") as the lead terrorist. Dumb and unmemorable, but if you dug this film, there's a sequel "Demolition University" which I have not seen. Also, if Corey Feldman were on hand I would have added another 1/2 star. FUN FACT! "Demolition High" is referenced in Paul Thomas Anderson's "Magnolia" by a character who is trying to get a part in a movie with Alan Thicke and Corey Haim.

Remember Toy Soldiers? Well, add Jim Wynorski and a low-budget and you get the picture. With more action, too. I'd call this Corey Haim's comeback performance. He's been in so many cheesy movies, we had all wondered. Demolition High is a fine action film in the mold of Die Hard...in school. School sucked, but this one seems better. And you got a whole slew of cameos. Some of the death scenes are inventive, too = 1. terrorist flying into band saw 2. lady terrorist getting stabbed by a ton of pencils shot from a fire extinguisher. My only complaint: there's like a total of 20 kids at this entire school. What, was Wynorski short of extras? Jim, throw me in part three, please!

This movie which rehashes the tired plot of terrorists taking over a high school, has some of the worst special effects I've seen outside an Ed Wood feature. Alan Thicke ("Growing Pains" Dad) uses profanity, so that's kind of funny. Wait! This isn't a comedy...never mind.

"Demolition High" is ridiculous on many levels. However, it made me laugh a bunch. It seemed less like a fully thought-out movie and more like an exercise in putting actors into scenes. "Hey, we could have Corey shoot something out of a fire extinguisher!" "Yeah, and Melissa could walk menacingly up these stairs!" "Wait, we could use this circular saw for something..."

What surprised me was that somehow the movie managed to include the absurd as well as occasional moments when the actors and the writing made me care a little bit about the characters. I've always like Corey Haim, for whatever reason, and even though this whole film was a transparent vehicle for him to play a role (and not a very convincing role), I still rooted for "Lenny Slater". I also liked a few moments with some of the supporting cast, certainly more than the shaky script and acting would suggest.

Ultimately I give this a 5. It's laughable in many ways, but that was part of the fun. When Corey grabs a machine gun and runs *past* the injured Melissa, out of the room, down the hall, and *then* turns and fires randomly back at the room they squared off in, you can't take this seriously and you can't believe any of them did either. So just relax and enjoy the comedy, be it intentional or not.

P.S. I had to "fix" this review because my original summary of "LOL" was interpreted as shouting -- even when I added periods. :-)