The Lord Protector

Either this movie was a pretty funny camp film or the acting was pretty bad (way over the top especially for the male actors). Once I decided to consider it for its camp value, I ended up enjoying it.

The basic plot was okay; a pretty average sword and sorcery story, though the sorcery had elements of technology. Despite a narrator (Charlton Heston!) there was not enough back-story to understand the world but the characters' back-stories were explained as the movie went on. There were a couple of unexplained disconnects that were more or less confusing depending on how integral to the storyline they were.

I watched it free on Netflix. I might watch it again...but I wouldn't if I had to pay for it.

Narrated by Chuck Heston, you can tell he did only one take on some of the entries due to the inflection. Musetta Vander has one short scene, love ya Mu, wish there were more of you in this! Cassidy tries hard, and keep up the effort, but I have to say that Jonathan Fuller's performance makes the film watchable. If you're into D&D and renaissance festivals, you might find this fun. One of my best friends lost his shirt investing in this, but he has since gotten back on his feet. Yes, the producers had done a number of successful films in the past, and everyone is allowed a turkey or two. I just wish it hadn't been this one. I wish I could give it more than 5 stars, but 3 of them are because of John as Malthon/Nohtlam. The bit with the hand that has a mind of its own is a blast. I noticed they fixed some of the soundtrack issues when they re-named the film, and more of a back story would have helped. Still, with a few disjointed scenes and all it is a fun escapism film.

The story is a fantasy tale about the possible destruction of this world and a fight between good and evil. I noticed some reviewers glow about this film and give it scores of 8, 9 or even 10. I have a seriously hard time understanding it, as the film was one of the most amateurish looking movies I've seen...especially when it comes to the acting. The actors look much more like some friends who got together to make a film, not a serious production.

The only reason I watched the film is because it was one of Charlton Heston's final movies. However, it turns out that he only narrates and if you are watching for Olivia Hussey, she only is used as a voice actor as well. The rest...well, I just hope that they worked hard and have improved their skills since making this movie.

Okay, I haven't actually seen this film. But once upon a time I got a phone call from someone representing the producer of "Witchboard" and "Season of Fear" looking for investors for a proposed movie to be called "Lord Protector." They told me they had already lined up Charlton Heston to narrate, and were offering roles to F. Murray Abraham and Michael Rooker. They mailed me a prospectus and everything, but in the end I passed. I wonder if I would have made good on my investment? I really should try to find this and see how the movie turned out. I'd probably be a lot more interested if they'd really ended up with Michael Rooker.

When I saw this film, I assumed it had been made in the late seventies - the effects are almost drawn onto the screen; but then I spotted in was made in 1996 and my appreciation really slumped. The first thing you notice is that old Ben Hur himself is the narrator - but why? Did he need the cash? The story, not that it really matters - is a sort of "Conan" meets "Red Sonja" affair with the hero "Rennick" (Patrick Cassidy) and his trusty team of stalwarts setting off to engage the epitome of evil in a battle for the very survival of our planet. Oddly enough, the campy performances; the large-scale paper-maché sets and the merry accompanying score might be more passable if the dialogue hadn't been written by an eight year old with English as his/her fifth language. The sword and sandals fight scenes are all terribly theatrically staged, and the visual effects are similar to those on a game of "Asteroids". Not the worst, but you can see it from here...