Unforgivable

I expected a cheesy 1990s era B or C movie coming into this, but was pleasantly surprised. This is not normally the kind of movie that I would review, but seeing as though it has had such little attention, I thought I would leave my thoughts.

This is actually a fairly solid movie that has a tangible and believable message. You actually feel connected to the characters, and I must say that Ritter performs his role masterfully. No spoilers here, but I think that this is a tight and tidy script with above decent acting that deserves some kudos for not trying to be more than it is.

A good film about an ugly subject: male-on-female domestic violence.

Here's some valuable back-story (not a spoiler): I've known Paul Hegstrom and his wife personally. According to them the film is an accurate portrayal of what an incredibly messed up man Paul Hegstrom was. Paul no longer *physically* beats his wife. However there are plenty of ways the physically abusive can continue the cycle of abuse without raising a hand. Anger issues and deep seated insecurities can be manifested in many ways than physically.

Another reviewer said, "I believe it was very courageous for the real life Paul Hegstrom to put himself out there and tell the world what he'd done. We all make mistakes, not many of us can admit it." Big assumption there. Paul Hegstrom has made a lot of money by promoting through his books and "counseling ministry" the stereotype that men are abusive and women are victims and that the inverse is rarely ever true; and where it is true the man must have done something to deserve it.

Take what good you can from this film, but don't presume that the central figure on which the film is based is a role model of genuine redemption. Unfortunately there are many physically abusive men (and although Hegstrom would deny it, women too) who overcome their physical abusiveness only to continue being equally abusive emotionally and psychologically. ALL forms of abuse are wrong and, unfortunately, this film may only perpetuate the stereotype that physical abuse is more evil than other abuses, and that only men are responsible for abuse.

John Ritter was well known for playing nice guys so in Unforgivable he takes a turn to the dark side playing a hard drinking, wife beater in this true life television film.

Ritter plays Paul Hegstrom a whiny car salesman who abuses his wife has a girlfriend (Beth) on the side and when he walks out on his wife and kids he soon turns on Beth as well hospitalizing her in a bout of rage.

Beth forces Paul to join a counselling group for abusive men or else she will press criminal charges. He reluctantly joins a radical therapy group with other spousal abusive men like him and eventually realises the extent of his abuse and the effect that it had on his wife and kids, especially his daughter who wants nothing to do with him.

Ritter relishes playing a more darker character but the TV movie does pull its punches a little because of its medium. Paul is shown to be rather one dimensional, a charmless loser, he is argumentative with his boss and even testy with his friends. Usually these types of guys are charming at work and with their friends to highlight their Jekyll/Hyde nature.

Kevin Dunn plays the counsellor who gives his usual good performance but the rest of the therapy group did not convince me, looking like a bunch of stereotypes causing friction with each other, eventually having some sort of comradeship when they each realise the errors of their ways.

Of course Paul has to make amends with his family but although his wife might be prepared to forgive him, his daughter is not. Like a lot of American movie of the week true stories I am not sure how faithful it is to the real life scenario, an intriguing film but not wholly successful.

This is an "exception to the rule" movie. This movie is an ode to domestic abusers, has intention for people to sympathize with domestic abusers, and is ultimately unrealistic. It's a science-fiction movie of how an idealist would hope a scenario like this would go about this. It felt more like an episode of an Outer Limits episode, it was that outrageous. Very pro villain. If you're into watching things with an undertone like that, then watch. Otherwise, it can be triggering for people who have actually dealt with this with an ending not at all similar.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.

This is more for Theo Robertson - but it can be for anyone with a similar viewpoint. Therapy CAN change an abusive person IF they decide they want to change. I am proof! I went into group therapy because I thought I had "a problem with my anger". I saw a lot of parallels between myself and Paul Hegstrom. I wasn't nearly as abusive, but I had the same type of characteristics, right up to the point of telling the counselor that I had "an anger problem", pretty much like Paul Hegstrom did. Just like he, himself, I learned that I had been taught that behavior, that's where it started. Knowing exactly what the problem was gave me a starting point to change it! Just like he did. The movie's excellent and I was blown away by John Ritter's portrayal. At first I didn't even believe it WAS him because I've never seen him play anything other than a humorous character. The movie's excellent!