The Haunted Sea

"The Haunted Sea" is an incredibly bad, cheap movie, noteworthy only for its short length and gratuitous nudity. Krista Allen-Morritt's so-big-they-won't-fit-in-a-football-helmet breasts are the true stars of this "Aliens", "Q, The Winged Serpent", and "Leviathan" rip-off, as she's topless at every possible occasion, including dream sequences and a shower scene.

Casting borders on the ridiculous: extraordinarily beautiful Joanna Pacula is the freighter's 2nd-in-command, and James Brolin (Barbra Streisand's paramour) is the ship's captain who uses such nautical terms as "left" and "right."

Special effects are ridiculous: the monster looks like a cheap Godilla (think of "Godzookie" on the old cartoon); animated "lightning" jumps off ancient Aztec statues; the assorted killings are amateurish at best.

See it only if you have nothing better to do for it's 84 minute running time.

The other user comment for this movie says it all, except that Barbra Streisand should forbid hubby James Brolin from ever again attempting an Irish accent.

And then there's that gimme cap on the noggin of the usually glamorous, decidedly non-butch Joanna Pacula.

MST3K is gone, sad to say. This would have been perfect fodder.

Along with "Grim" this is possibly the worst monster-on-the-loose horror film I have ever seen.James Brolin and Joanna Pacula are completely wasted in this piece of crap.As for Pacula,she is my favourite Polish actress but why she was involved in this disaster is beyond me.The plot is obnoxious and stupid,the monster looks incredibly fake and the special effects are mostly made up of splattering red paint/blood on the wall when someone gets hacked up.The lead actress Krista Allen is extremely annoying and incredibly wooden.To sum up,if you enjoy lame acting,cheesy gore effects and an implausible plot,then this is the film for you.If not,avoid it like the plague.

Early clues that this movie will be a complete waste of time: Gratuitous female nudity before the opening credits are over, and wobbly cameras zooming in at screeching people to simulate predator attacks. And oh look, boobs were bared again 10 minutes into the movie.

Essentially this movie is similar in plot to the recent Ghost Ship - the crew of a boat find a (haunted) abandoned ship and board it. This script is crap, however. There's something about an Aztec curse, which leads to flashbacks of sacrificial rituals, which naturally requires there to be naked women. Despite the title, this is actually a monster flick. Effects are limited here (read: a monster that looks like a puppet), as is the acting. There are a few more experienced actors, and there are the actors that need a few more years of acting school before they can take up roles like "Bystander #1".

I wonder what a renowned actor like James Brolin is doing in this movie. I guess before he married money... I mean Barbra Streisand, he had to find some way of paying the bills.

Yes it's true that is the main reason I watched this "film" the beautiful Joanna Pacula. Unfortunately apart from this, this is a pretty dismal film. Even the nudity of the other actress (Krista Allen) doesn't help, she's pretty awful to be honest.

The whole film is pretty pants, the crew of a film find a mysterious vessel and when some of the crew board it they find no crew but plenty of ancient loot. They intend to steal it, bad idea pals. Another problem is most of the crew are unlikeable so who cares when they get bumped off, as for the Monster, well it's so awful it's amazing it got filmed at all.

Poor Joanna having to appear in this guff, she must've needed the money.