The Haunted Sea

There's nothing haunting about it, unless you think an Aztec feathered serpent (Quetzalcoatl) is haunting, but once you see it. I don't think haunting comes to mind. Being a Roger Corman produced presentation (Concord) you get what you usually expect from a quick-buck, straight-to-video fare. It's trashy (gratuitous T&A and tacky gore), just not enough of it to break away from its labored pacing. And it only goes for about 70 minutes. What we do get, is another wannabe, rancid "ALIEN" rehash, this time set on a drifting ghost freighter that bestows an ancient Aztec treasure.

Some washed up actors slumming, in the likes of James Brolin and Don Stroud. A grizzled Brolin plays the ship's captain -- doing nothing more than pacing up and down the bridge, while trying to make his meaningless dialogues seem meaningful. Then there's the hard-nosed, if reliable Joanna Pacula who might be wishing, she was somewhere else by the look on her face. Even with these names attached, the camera really does focus on lead actress Krista Allen. And when I mean focus, her breasts could get their own billing with the amount of exposed, topless scenes. Obviously someone had been watching Allen in all of those mid 90s made-for-cable "Emmanuelle" films. You begin to ask the question, is this one of the reasons (the other being time-frame quota) for the ancient flashbacks? No it was all about using their iguana stock footage.

Now let's move onto the monster. It's a cruddy looking, man-in-a-rubber suit --- like something you would get out of a 1960/70s Godzilla film. Well more like the awkward leftovers. In the opening minute you get frenetic camera movements and blood being splashed about here and there. Oh no I was concerned... but gladly it does do a little more than that later on. You get a decently executed transformation sequence (... remember this is barebones), involving bubbling skin, cracking bones and someone's guts spilling out. Once this thing goes on the rampage you get a touch of latex gore, but the actions are limited. It goes about waving around its oversized claws, while its head dangles from its long neck. There's even some tongue action and it likes to get in a good punch too. Just be prepared to endure a lot of wandering through corridors, the boring kind, where the low-rent sets look plain, and studio bound. Just those scenes, especially later on, could've done with a little more sense of urgency, just liked the pointless slow motion running through the corridors scene, well it did look like the same scene done on a loop.

"THE HAUNTED SEA" is a dumb, disposable run-of-the-mill creature-feature for a lazy afternoon.

The other user comment for this movie says it all, except that Barbra Streisand should forbid hubby James Brolin from ever again attempting an Irish accent.

And then there's that gimme cap on the noggin of the usually glamorous, decidedly non-butch Joanna Pacula.

MST3K is gone, sad to say. This would have been perfect fodder.

OK i seen this a few times and haunted sea is not a bad movie,true it is a b-movie but it is entertaining although short.a good soundtrack,a good cast led by sexy Krista Allen,James Brolin,and Joanne Pacula.it deals with an Aztec treasure and a monster that looks like a leftover from carnosaur.i would call this a Saturday matinée movie much like atomic submarine.i am a fan of Roger Corman movies,except of course carnosaur which i did not care for.another notable actor is Don Stroud who made numerous movies with Corman like;bloody mama and dillinger and Capone.haunted sea is not a classic but like i said its not bad,ill give it 7 out of 10.

Early clues that this movie will be a complete waste of time: Gratuitous female nudity before the opening credits are over, and wobbly cameras zooming in at screeching people to simulate predator attacks. And oh look, boobs were bared again 10 minutes into the movie.

Essentially this movie is similar in plot to the recent Ghost Ship - the crew of a boat find a (haunted) abandoned ship and board it. This script is crap, however. There's something about an Aztec curse, which leads to flashbacks of sacrificial rituals, which naturally requires there to be naked women. Despite the title, this is actually a monster flick. Effects are limited here (read: a monster that looks like a puppet), as is the acting. There are a few more experienced actors, and there are the actors that need a few more years of acting school before they can take up roles like "Bystander #1".

I wonder what a renowned actor like James Brolin is doing in this movie. I guess before he married money... I mean Barbra Streisand, he had to find some way of paying the bills.

The sea isn't *haunted*, so much as it is inhabited by an abandoned ship home to a gassy-sounding, rubbery, dinosaur-looking creature who is supposed to be the feathered, winged serpent known as Quetzacoatl. Apparently, the filmmakers didn't do their homework on that one, because its physical description, as well as the spelling of its name, are incorrect herein. Eventually, a small crew board the ship and discover a crate filled with a curiously lightweight gold statue. Several times, top-heavy Krista Allen imagines herself jiggling and bouncing topless during some sort of sacrificial offering, before the statue shock/ possesses one of their number, who turns into a fanged, belching, slobbering demon, and rips them to shreds, eventually turning into what this film calls "Queztacoatl".

Lengthy tracking shots during opening credits only serve to pad out the film's brief run time, as does Krista Allen's shower scene and plentiful nude scenes (I counted three in the first fifteen minutes) . Krista has a great body, but should either stick to doing porn, or at least get better screenplays to work with. The camera jiggles almost as much as her huge rack does, which makes it difficult to figure out what little is happening on-screen.

The final shot is intended to be a shock twist ending, but it only made me groan. Furthermore, it is held for such a long time that any surprise which might have been is slowly driven away by boredom.