Hideous!

Ok, with a title like HIDEOUS! you know right off-the-bat that the

filmmakers weren't out to win any Oscars with this offering.

Surprisingly though, what director Charles Band and his co-horts

at Full Moon Pictures do accomplish is a much better B-movie

than one might expect.



The plot is simple yet completely deranged: a "biological oddities

broker", Belinda Yost (Tracy May), and her two, wealthy, high-profile

collector clients, Napolean Lazar (Mel Johnson Jr.) and Dr. Lorca

(Michael Citriniti), square off against one another over a deformed

specimen found at a local sewer filtration plant. One has his half- naked, gorilla-mask wearing assistant Sheila (Jaqueline Lovell)

steal it while the other hires a P.I., Det. Kantor (Gerard O' Donnell)

to track it down. Everyone winds up in a strange, Transylvanian

castlesque mansion fighting one another until, lo-and-behold,

monsters come to life and all hell breaks loose!



Granted the story isn't great, or barely even good, but the film does

manage to shine in a few areas. The cinematography, despite

what is obviously constructed on a reduced budget, is top-notch.

The film is also well-directed, given the poor material with which it

contends. Well paced and shot. And some of the portrayals and

acting/actors are much better than what one might encounter in

similar features and situations; on one end, fine performances are

given by Lovell (who is very easy on the eyes, I might add), May and

O'Donnell (O'Donnell should be making "real" pictures), but then

we have to contend with over-indulgent, ham from Citriniti,

Johnson Jr. and Rhonda Griffin. It comes out even I suppose.



But the most disappointing aspect of HIDEOUS! by far has to be

the creature effects. They are just plain awful. The deformed

monstrosities look more like skinned Muppets, yet with 50 times

less articulation. They can barely move, mutter incessantly, run

around oozing goo and bring the possibilities of the picture down

quite considerably. And the "sex-scene" is too unbelievably stupid

to describe, but is a must-see! Yes, HIDEOUS! is meant to have a

comic undertone for certain, but chances are the viewer won't be

laughing "with" the makers of this ugly nugget.



5/10. This all could have been avoided if they'd used

Tupperware...

I cannot believe I'm admitting this, but I actually kind of enjoyed this dumb thing.

"Hideous!" from director Charles Band and Full Moon, is still a bad movie. But we ARE talking about Charles Band and Full Moon, so for me to find anything positive is unlikely. But at least there was the attempt at humor, which I did chuckle at a few times. And the acting-incredibly-wasn't that bad...for a Full Moon pic. The gloppy, cheap creatures were more funny than freaky. But there seemed to actually be some...oh I don't know...EFFORT involved in this one. Maybe I felt nostalgic for Stuart Gordon, hearing the familiar synthesizer tones of Charles's brother Richard Band throughout. Regardless, it's not near as bad as expected, and that's really saying something.

When sewage workers serendipitously discover a discarded and deformed fetus, several collectors of medical oddities vie for possession of it. Subsequently, the fetus, along with others in a collection, come back to life and begin wreaking havoc. The plot offers an interesting premise, as medical oddities are an exotic source of fascination, as well as a dark biological aesthetic which lends itself well to the horror genre, while providing an antidote to the sterile and plastic commercial culture which permeates the mainstream media.

While the viewer may be inclined to perceive the reanimated fetuses as the antagonists of the film, the real antagonists are the collectors - Elvina, Napoleon Lazar, and Dr. Lorca. They can be characterized as such because (1) they seek to obtain the deformed fetuses for their own personal collections, thus gratifying their own egos, whereas such preternatural specimens should be studied by science, or if such specimens are to be put on display, it should be a public exhibition in order to stimulate the intellectual curiosity of the novelty-starved masses. Preferably, they should be in a museum, ideally one that specializes in medical oddities, such as the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia. (2) They are antagonists because they continue their pursuit of the fetuses even after they discover that the specimens are not only alive, but sentient. Therefore, they would exploit the fetuses for their own gain, despite the fact the fetuses express (in the form of writing notes!) their preference to be left alone. This can be symbolic of how businesspeople view the consumer as a commodity - a means of improving one's "bottom line" - rather than as beings with their own desires. The deformed fetuses, therefore, are not antagonists but antiheroes. They only cause trouble once their desire has been disregarded. This film contains some creatively sexy scenes. Regarding sexual content, mainstream films tend to offer little more than mundane male-female sexual intercourse. B-movies often deliver a refreshing selection of uncommon/unnatural sexual scenes, serving to satisfy one's desire for an alternative to routine and unimaginative sexuality. "Hideous!" is no exception, and in fact, the sexual scenes make for some of the most appealing content of this film.

A sewage treatment plant clean-up crew (where do I sign up?!) fish out a red glob "specimen," which turns out to be more than just worthless sludge, but an invaluable formula capable of reviving mutant creatures. What it's doing in the sewer is anyone's guess. After it's stolen by eccentric, unorthodox Dr. Lorca (Michael Citriniti) and his sexy, blonde always topless assistant Sheila (Jacqueline Lovell), the "owners" hire a private detective to get it back. Above characters (plus a ditsy secretary) become trapped inside Lorca's castle home and face off against four bite-size mutant monsters who attack and start killing because they want their independence (!)

Although the little killers will instantly bring to mind Band's Full Moon PUPPET MASTER series, this silly, but very fun, time waster has decent production values, cute slimy puppet monsters and a decent unknown cast (Tracie May and Lovell are especially good). Although Band has fallen into a pit of mini-monster reptitiveness, he has improved as a scriptwriter, and the witty, sarcastic and often very funny dialogue in this film proves it.

Here is the thing. You have to enjoy cheesy horror movies. To be delighted by the bizarre also helps. Hideous! is a weird movie involving collectable biological oddities preserved (mostly) in formaldehyde, a girl band in a cage rocking out, and a mutant born of noxious waste hell-bent on getting revenge or eating people or something. A quirky movie that entertained me to no end just by it's amusing oddness. The topless bandit didn't hurt either. If you like Full Moon Pictures, you will probably like this one. If the Puppet Master or Subspecies movies didn't do anything for you, then you should probably skip it. But, if you are ready to take a leap of faith and/or have a backup video at the ready, get a copy and set back on the couch for a bizarre evening.