Conan the Adventurer

All the episodes of this sword and sorcery series simply capitalize on the formula that made the HERCULES or BEASTMASTER TV shows successful; but a couple of these in syndication is enough. What was needed here was something more edgy with a fantasy/noir atmosphere. Bodybuilder Ralf Moeller is ideally cast, but his character is decidedly too friendly and heroic to be taken as a barbarian thug, which is the proper way to develop the Conan character. Where is the stimulating eroticism and fetishistic bondage situations that make a loinclothed hero satisfying. Even on TV, you can push the envelop to reasonable limits in these two critical areas. What we don't need are cutesy, self-righteous sidekicks or a little-man buddy (reminiscent of many a schlocky Italian peplum pic). Another thing that keeps this kind of thing interesting is a cool, sadistic villain, and this series fails miserably here, too. The key wizard villain is far from sinister and his bantering interludes with a "potted skull" slow down the proceedings irreparably. Not nearly enough bang for your buck here.

If you saw the original movie with Arnold and it's less watchable sequel in the theatre and later on TV you will get an idea as to what this series is missing. The censors made mincemeat of these two bloody movies because of a desire not to show blood and killing in a sword movie. The producers of the TV show decided to make him Conan the bloodless for the TV show with predictable results. Rolf Moeller was a perfect choice as Arnold already had us expecting a German bodybuilder in the role but they made him a kinder gentler Conan along with cutting the violence which simply departs too much from the original character. Throwing in full time sidekicks for no clear reason made this no different than Xena or Hercules. It's not quite as silly as the series Highlander which is about decapitation but refuses to acknowledge it but like Highlander, it is an idea for cable or feature films only.

Seems like ever since "Hercules" and "Xena" became chart toppers in the syndicated tv series market, a lot of imitators have come along. "Conan" the tv series is one of them, which is a shame as it had so much going for it, like instant name recognition.

First off, the producers need to get rid of the mute and the Viking sidekicks. "Conan" always has been his own man. Readers of the original "Conan" novels by Robert E. Howard know this. The books were always about Conan's fights against overwhelming odds by himself. He needs friends, but not these two, and not all the time. Let him keep the dwarf, but let Danny Woodburn provide a bit more comedy relief, and let a tall woman fall in love with the dwarf from time to time so that Danny can have that macho-man look on his face. It'd be a great opportunity for physical comedy. A dwarf Don Juan would be funny.

Second, let the female sidekick get more screen time. And change her costume. Save the leather corset for "Xena". Karella should show a belly button from time to time, instead. She's an ex-"Vogue" model, so let us see some trim tummy. We get to see Ralph's don't we?

Third, give the show more sizzle. Let the women be women. Let the female guest stars slip out of their leather outfits and into something more comfortable, such as Conan's arms, or a cool mountain stream, a field of flowers, a dark forest, or even a cold dungeon. A little titillation can go a long way. If the producers want to know how to pull off this act and get around the American censors, let them watch an episode of "Pacific Blue". The books were always about Conan defeating the evil ruler, saving the town, and bedding a fair maiden. It was formulaic, but it worked. So how about more fair maidens?

As for Ralph Moeller, he does a great job as "Conan": big muscles, big sword, limited vocabulary, just as Robert E. Howard had depicted him. And Danny Woodburn could be great with a format change.

Me, I'm still waiting for them to re-do the first dungeon scene from "Conan And The Sword Of Skelos". "Conan" fans will know what I'm talking about. I think that scene was the inspiration for the two "Barbarian Queen" movies, which reminds me: where is Lana Clarkson when we need her?

After watching episodes on tape, thanks to a friend who had taped them, I want to know why Conan fans found this tv series so lame? Now, granted it wasn't the novels, or as bloodly and dark as it should have been...but it had monsters, women, warriors, killing, wizards, and Rolf did a great job as Conan the Cimmerian. Plus, unlike many syndie shows, had an actual storyline going through the season. Episodes like "Lair of the Beastmen" and "Al Sohn-Bar" were nicely done fantasy stories, with a bit of everything. Some episodes were not as worthy, but it was a fun series. Face it: Conan on cable or free TV isn't going to be the Conan a hardcore Conan fan wants. Until HBO can aquire a chance to produce a Conan tv series, the 1997/1998 "Conan: Adventurer" tv series is the best you'll get. And unless Threshold produces a new tv series (which they have yet to do, after fighting hard to get the rights, etc) the Keller Conan series is all there will be.

I couldn't agree more with the other poster. I found this show totally enjoyable. The DVDs are well worth having. Unlike shows that started out good and went downhill fast, like Xena, this one kept the tone jaunty and fun throughout, as well as steering clear of silly anachronisms. Conan's mostly exposed body is good eye candy for us ladies, too. I wish there were more episodes.

The only things I got bored with were the talking skull and the somewhat one-dimensional bad guys. However, there were some strong women characters (and what a blast to see Mariette Hartley show up as the Queen in "Heir Apparent," season 1). The sidekicks were a little dull in some ways, I guess, but I give the show credit for using "misfits" (a dwarf, a mute, a chubby coward) in action roles and in giving them some dignity and respectability instead of turning them into comic relief in a degrading way (can you say "Joxer"?).

I also liked the lack of gore--maybe I'm a wimp but the Conan movies, though I love them (and the soundtrack is absolutely the greatest), were a little gory for my taste. I prefer to leave that stuff to the imagination. Speaking of the soundtrack, I bought that CD also and it is pretty good. Not exactly Basil Poledouris, but it's thoroughly listenable.