Faces of Death III

If you are expecting this to be another mondo shock-u-mentary, than you are very wrong. This is just a collection of reinactments from various stories, from serial killers to drug busts. The only real life footage shows workers in a chicken factory preparing birds for consumption. Hmm, anyone for kfc. I cant believe i watched this from start to finish. After about 10 minutes i couldnt wait for this to end. Avoid at ALL costs!

Michael Carr is back as Dr Francis B.Gross to narrate a series of faces of death. These include motor accidents, serial killers, sex murder, drugs, suicide, diving accidents including a shark attack, dog attack, slaughterhouses plus some open heart surgery. Only the latter two are definitely genuine, the rest being obviously re-enacted. Quite poorly too in most cases, and a lot of it is just a rehash from parts 1 and 2. In Britain the BBFC cut it by 78 seconds, a scene of sexual violence but having watched the missing footage online I don't understand why as they have passed more graphic film than that. Having seen the first 2 FOD movies then it was worth watching as an addition, though it is inferior to both.

Okay, first of all, if a man is being convicted for the rape and murder of a woman, and the main piece of evidence against him is a hand-held video of the assault, one would think the law might also want to go after the guy holding the camera. This "documentary" is populated with shaggy-haired mustachioed police men and soldiers who all look alike and spout such incredible kitchen sink moments as, "this place is going to hell!" and "I hope someone gets those bastards!" And I swear to god that the narrator said a cut could become "infested".

If you're looking for wild animals attacking sides of beef dressed in coats and hats (the beef, not the wild animals - that at least would be a curiosity) make this your first stop.

Faces of Death 3 (1985) D: Conan le Cilaire (John Alan Schwartz). Michael Carr, John Alan Schwartz. Incredibly fake third entry in the FACES OF DEATH series is nothing more than a collection of re-enactments and cheesy acting in supposed `death footage.' The piece on `serial killer' Michael Lorenzo (played by director John Alan Schwartz, credited here as Conan le Cilaire) is especially dumb (and badly acted). What's worse is the budget looks larger this time around, proving that you don't have to be low budget to create cinematic trash (if you even want to describe this monstrosity as `cinematic'). Being a subject in a death clip (being burned alive or hell, why not getting my throat slashed) would be preferable to having to sit through this junk. RATING: 1 out of 10. Not Rated (MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY).

...I, however, went into "Faces of Death III" (on loan from a friend) not being exposed to any previous or subsequent entries in the long-running DTV series and came out rather amused. This collection of supposedly authentic footage of murder and mayhem has the appeal of a traffic accident (ironically, one of the first 'faces of death' displayed here)...depicting shark attacks, (real) animal slaughter, executions et. al. While the various sequences are stitched together as loosely as Frankenstein's monster, the real incentive for viewing comes in the form of 'creative consultant/narrator' "Doctor" Francis B. Gross' commentary on them...absolutely hilarious, pseudo-philosophical rubbish that will have you rolling on floor. For an accurate look at REAL faces of death, log on to Rotten dot com; for chuckles and a funky '70s look, have a ball with "Faces of Death III."