Cry Wilderness

This movie appears in my nightmares. I wish so badly to go back to the time when I never saw this, but unfortunately I'm stuck with knowing it exists. It made me ask many questions: Who greenlit this monstrosity? What were they high on? Did they owe a favor to someone? Letting this dumpster fire become an actual movie should have resulted in criminal punishment. Jail time at the very least.

I saw this film years ago when it came to theaters for an extremely limited release. I remember the film so well because I won a door prize the day I viewed it. I watched the film with a theater full of young kids and even the kids didn't like it. Many slept and others just shook their young heads in disbelief. How could such a poor film be produced.

It's nearly impossible to put into words how awful this movie truly is. The acting and dubbing is beyond laughable, it has the worst stock footage ever and barely has anything resembling a plot. The entire world in the film seems to operate without logic or reason. Somehow the kid, Paul, makes his way into the middle of the Sierra Nevada mountains after running away from boarding school because Bigfoot told him his dad was in danger. Paul is then picked up by a trucker who doesn't seem at all puzzled that a 10 year old is out there. Paul then proceeds to magically find his forest ranger dad walking around in the middle of the woods despite having no possible way of knowing where he would be, and his dad barely questions it. And that's just in the first ten minutes. The whole movie plays out like there wasn't even a script and instead the director made it up day to day. I'd recommend watching the MST3K version of this so there isn't any lasting mental scarring from the absolute mess assaulting the senses. The two people rating this movie an 8/10 and 7/10 either must've been involved in the production or actually had their sanity affected by this turd, because literally nothing in this movie is redeemable, save some nice shots of the California wilderness, and that's why it gets one star. This movie isn't healthy for children and other living things.

Cry Wilderness is the kind of film that gets made because some writer / director had an idea that nobody else believed in (with good reason). Instead of waiting for a better idea, the script gets filmed on a shoestring budget. The minimal plot gets heavily padded by stock wilderness footage, which makes the constant changes in terrain (forest, scrubland, mountain) and season (snowy winter in one scene, bright greens of summer in the next) obvious to a bright three year old. Then there is the acting, which makes me wonder if the next door neighbor's kid and a few drinking buddies were assembled to round out the minimal cast. Then there is the Bigfoot costume, which looks like somebody took a set of hair clippers to a Chewbacca halloween costume and called it a day. Do not attempt to watch this without the cast of MST3K. Given a choice between watching this film and viewing your second cousin's home movies of a trip they took to Yellowstone back in 1978, pick the latter.

This movie was chosen as episode 2 of the reboot of MST3K for a reason. It's not even "so bad it's good", just plain bad.

The story doesn't go anywhere, I've seen better editing from the average 11 year old's YouTube video, the acting is seriously painful to watch, and the whole thing is just completely disjointed. It's like a fever dream from which you just can't wake up from.

The only thing that saved the movie was the MST3K riffing, some of the funniest (and edgiest!) I've heard. Do yourself a favour... if you MUST watch this schlock, watch the MST3K version.