Death House

If you made a genre flick in the late 80s, you basically had a 50/50 chance it would either be set underwater or in a prison (sadly, we never got an underwater prison flick). Framed for murder by mafia boss Moretti (Anthony Franciosa), Derek Keillor (Dennis Cole) ends up on death row, right alongside the mob boss' brother Frankie (Frank Sarcinello Jr.). But this is the least of Derek's problems as rogue government agent (and mob stoolie) Col. Burgess (John Saxon, who also directs) is using the prison as a testing ground for a new supervirus. This is the only flick Saxon directed during his storied career. For a guy who has worked with tons of directors, it appears the only ones he picked up any tips from were the cheap-o Italian ones. Sure, it is low budget, but that can't excuse the stilted staging, shooting gaffes, or clumsy exposition in the first 15 minutes. To his credit, Saxon did make it slightly gory and he works in a hilarious nude scene (our lead falls asleep during a prison riot only to fantasize about a female scientist). Cole, who looks like a more rugged Jan-Michael Vincent, is decent as the stoic lead and Franciosa - sporting a really bad rug - gives it his all as the cliché mob boss. The end takes place at Marty McKee's favorite location, Bronson Canyon. Retromedia released this on DVD as ZOMBIE DEATH HOUSE.

John Saxon was a wonderful actor: he brought style and class to numerous cult classics, working for such film-makers as Mario Bava, Wes Craven, Dario Argento, Sergio Martino, Robert Rodriguez, John Sturges, and Robert Clouse. However, I think it's fair to say that, judging by Death House, Saxon wasn't that great behind the camera himself: his only gig as director, this film is a forgettable piece of trash that meanders aimlessly for an hour and a half, with pedestrian action, wooden performances, and very little in the way of originality or excitement.

Saxon also stars in the film, playing shady government operative Colonel Gordon Burgess, who uses the inmates at a penitentiary as guinea pigs for an experimental virus that turns people into superhuman zombies. Vietnam vet Derek Keillor (Dennis Cole), on death row after being framed for murder by mafia boss Moretti (Anthony Franciosa), attempts to lead the uninfected out of the prison, but finds that Burgess has placed the establishment in quarantine.

With a plot that goes nowhere for much of the time, Death House is an extremely tedious zombie film. The only times that the film displays any life is when Saxon sees fit to throw in some gratuitous nudity or gore. Sadly, there just isn't enough of either to compensate for the lack of genuine suspense or decent action. Cole is passable in the hero role, and Saxon and Franciosa (co-stars in Argento's Tenebre) are as solid as ever as the villains, but what this film sorely needed was much more splatter and T&A, because nothing succeeds like excess.

Quite honestly, this has to be one of the worst films I have ever put myself through. I didn't even make it through the halfway mark, and that's saying something, considering I have watched some pretty dreadful films. I don't think the filmmakers even knew what kind of film they wanted to make. A mobster drama, or a horror film. It plays as both. The former taking up a good third of the film. So, my advice... avoid it unless you want to give up and hour and a half of your life, that you will never get back. Granted, John Saxon is a wonderful actor. But his talent as a director leaves a lot to be desired. Oh, and one more thing, the $1000 Shock Insurance Certificate that was included with the DVD, should be used to provide the first person who dies of boredom, not shock while viewing this awful film.

Alright, well for a movie from 1987, this was surprisingly lame. I had expected somewhat more in the horror and perhaps even gore category.

Now, the idea of having a zombie viral outbreak in a prison might have seemed good on script paper, but failed to shine through on the screen. Maybe that was because you never really buy into the prison atmosphere in this movie. Everything is just a little bit too cozy, and there are surprisingly few guards for a prison of this size.

Anyway, the movie stands out from many other zombie movies, in an odd way, as the zombies here seem to be alive, but decomposing. They are capable of talking and acting fairly coherently. That sort of killed the mood for me. A zombie is not a dead person just behaving fairly much like when alive, except for having a hunger for flesh. No, a zombie is a shell of the former self, devoid of life and soul (if one believes in that). So I never really bought the zombie scenario presented here.

As for the acting, well... Most of it was tolerable, but nothing astounding to be found here. Except for maybe the woman playing the lady they brought into the prison from the outside. Wow, it was physically painful to watch her performance.

Moving on to the gore and effects. Well, given the movie is quite old by now, the effects are, of course, way out of date. But I am sure that by standards back in 1987, these were believable and scary to watch. Just keep that in mind, because today they are not really all that believable.

The good part of the movie is that the story is fairly straight going, and keeps going at a good pace. It doesn't become overly dull so that you want to get up and leave.

I had expected a tad more from this movie, despite it being old. I would have rated it as 2, but given it is a zombie movie, my heart gets all soft and mushy, so 3 out of 10. This is a movie that you sit down to watch if you are a hardcore zombie fan, like myself. Otherwise, you might be bored out of your mind sitting through this.

After mob boss Vic Moretti (late great Anthony Franciosa) kills his lady whom has been cheating on him with Derek, their new chauffeur/ Vietnam vet, and blames it on the poor guy, Derek finds himself in jail where he has to contend with a corrupt warden, Vic's prisoner brother who runs the jail, and, oh yeah illegal experiments conducted by a shady CIA agent (great genre-mainstay and first time director John Saxon) to turn various prisoners into super-human invincible zombies. Of course things get out of hand and it's up to Derek, and the rest of the unchanged prisoners, to save the day after the infected ones take the jail over.

John Saxon is a great talented actor & as a director Saxon is a... great talented actor. To say this movie (John's sole directorial outing to date) lacks a certain visual flair would be a bit of an understatement. However, the film isn't totally without merit. The dialog, while idiotic, is just bad enough to be humorous sometimes. Sadly, this isn't really enough for the movie to coast by on that alone and it takes forever for the film to even start coming into it's own (which is fairly late in the movie). As such, the most I can recommend this film is to say that if you're a fan of Saxon (which I indeed am), it's worth one watch, just go in with low expectations and you should be fine.

Eye Candy: Dana Lis Mason and Tane McClure get topless

My Grade: D+