Stargames

There is nothing that can save this film from contender for worst movie. The acting is cringeworthy, the costumes and 'special' effects are laughable. It's hard to think what was going on in the minds of its creators, maybe they were playing a joke on us.

It makes b-Movies like like Hollywood blockbusters. I'm not entirely sure that forced watching could be used as punishment.

This is actual "dialog" from this garbage.

"Hey HEY watch out there is a bear up THERE. HEY look OUT, THERE IS A BEAR about to COME over that hill. COME ON COMERE, COMERE COME ON COMERE COME ON run. COME ON, THERE's a BEAR RUN. COME ON get back" I can't believe they got paid for "work" of such low quality that a 5 year old could have done better without trying.

There must be something good to say about a family-effort film project....in this case, it apparently involves the Clark clan and some marginally-talented homies....so, we can only hope it was meant for audiences under the age of seven. Anyone older will immediately pick up on the amazingly cheesy effects, performances---sadly including Tony Curtis', who must have owed somebody a big favor---and atrociously bad scripting and dialogue. (Count how many times the parents yell, "BRIAN!", even when he's right in front of them.) However, all this makes for a fabulous riff session, and you won't even need RiffTrax. You'll have plenty of your own material, especially when "Happy" shows up---it's this flick's only Clowning achievement.

Well, right about that time them Clark boys daddy said, "Time to be actors". Pappy Clark had just bought one of them Video Toasters and a Pentium with 8 Meg of Ram. So, it goes downhill from there.

Graydon plays the father to one of his sons. Earthboy, seen at the very end of Uninvited clutching a cat that looked nothing like the mutant cat. Bennett plays the father to his other son that honestly looks more handsome than the kid from Home Improvement, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Spaceboy.

Earthboy gets lost on a family vacation. Earthboy meets Spaceboy who is running from a evil space dictator, who looks like a colander had sex with a pile of isht. And Happy.... WTF. That is the only reason to watch this movie and watch a horrible actor, do Robin Williams impressions horribly, dressed in full clown makeup.

Watch if you like movie masochism/narcissism.

. . . but certainly in the top two. As a movie aficionado and frustrated film maker, I long for the talent that would allow me to shoot just one minute of film good enough to be considered art. I'm sure Graydon Clark has a similar aspiration for himself. Just as I do not rate movies with a 10 (there is no such thing as a perfect film) I also am loath to rate a movie with a 1, which is also a measure of perfection but at the wrong end of the spectrum. Stargames brushes awfulness perfection but doesn't quite make it. It is chock full of truly atrocious moments, from inexplicable actions to the creepiest clown I have seen anywhere. Ever. While this movie is one of the worst ever, it yielded a RiffTrax gem. It is truly a RiffTrax masterpiece and that alone justifies the existence of this turkey.