The Brotherhood

David DeCoteau's film "The brotherhood" has brought the word 'bad' to new levels of badness. Bad acting. Bad effects. Bad everything. This bad film just oozed rottenness from every bad scene... simply bad beyond all infinite dimensions of possible badness.

Well maybe not that bad, but lord, it wasn't good.

A bunch of hunky guys with bodies to die for march around - say a few stilted sentences - pull off their shirts, reveal they are vampires and then say a few more stilted words. That pretty much sums up this baaaad film. If you want to look at really hunky guys - go for it. Don't expect much in the way of script or acting though. There is only one actor with anything resembling talent and he's relegated to being the "ugly geek" though he is not. You could drive trains through the gaps in the dialogue - which is too elaborate and wordy for what is being said. Expositional information is related that doesn't fit the characters presenting it. And explain something to me - how does the most popular fraternity manage to have only four members, yet have parties where dozens upon dozens attend - and yet they "rush" only one candidate?

The "best" thing about this film is its blatent homoerotic overtones. There's a particularly cheesy scene in which one vampire helps his novice drink blood from a girl's arm...from the camera angle, for all practical purposes, it looks as if one guy is having oral sex with the other. And the guys seem to hang all over each other and walk around half naked in front of each other for no reason at all. I think this had to have been scripted, shot, directed, or lensed by either a woman or a gay male because it is just "too" much.

I'd like to find out how to become a filmmaker of this caliber because it seems like there is some sort of market for this trash. However, I would imagine that it is probably just as difficult to make a film like this as it would be to make a good one - so why not go the extra mile?

No, this is not Male Model University, but judging by the student body you need to look like one to attend. It's apparent you need a muscular physique, perfectly gelled hair and tight leather duds just to take a stroll around campus. At parties, name drop Nietzsche and make sure you wear a fine suit and tie so you have something nice to puke all over. Never button up your top three buttons, hang out in juvenile high schoolish cliques and always wear shades. No, this thing isn't set on Mars, but close enough: it's set in the minds of horny skeezers David DeCoteau and scripter Matthew Jason Walsh, so any resemblance between this and any real college campus is strictly coincidental.

Oh yeah, the so-called plot... Hunky freshman stud-ent Christopher Chandler (Nathan Watkins) is anti-frat, but still wooed by the most popular house on campus. I mean, aren't Devon, Barry, Jordan and Mikhael the type of dudes everyone wants to hang with? No, not really. They're conceited, shallow, boring, and stupid, they throw lame parties and they drink blood to stay young and desirable. Go figure.

DeCoteau began his career exploiting the bods of B-babes like Linnea Quigley and Brinke Stevens and now he's switched to men's bodies, which is completely fair in our more enlightened age. Men deserve to be treated like meat, too, but it's too bad these talent-dry bonehead boy toys ACT like meat. You'd be hard pressed to find more lifeless, listless performances (particularly Bradley Stryker as the main bad guy) but hell, they DO look great in their matching boxer briefs. Save yourself the time and skim through a Calvin Klein catalogue instead. And this thing merits a pair of sequels?!

I totally agree with the other person who wrote up this movie--seriously the worst movie ever made. I have seen some terrible movies but this "horror" flick was such a laugh...my friends and I literally laughed through it. Do not ever see it! I can't believe they made not one but two sequels to this piece of garbage.

In this feeble horror tale Chris (Samuel Page as Nathan Watkins), a college student, is offered the chance to join an elite Fraternity by Devon (Bradley Stryker). Unknown to Chris this particular Fraternity happens to be the cover for a vampire coven.

‘The Brotherhood' (known in the UK as ‘I've Been Watching You') is one of the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure to watch. With no real storyline, a poor script and dismal acting this movie appears to be nothing more than a softcore gay porn movie disguised as a supposedly stylish horror movie. If the homoeroticism served a purpose to the story then I would not be as unimpressed but there is nothing in here remotely resembling a horror movie. The story comes across as exactly what it is – a tacked on and meaningless narrative with no redeeming features.

The homoeroticism is not what makes this movie dire, that dubious distinction belongs to the appalling story closely followed by the inept acting and the inexcusably bad script. Veteran director, David DeCoteau's direction was the only real highlight of this movie and even that seemed to be of a particularly low standard. While it may be nice for some to watch a bunch of college jocks wandering around with their shirts off, anybody who wants a half-decent story should look elsewhere. This movie is really nothing more than boring tripe! My rating for ‘The Brotherhood' – 2/10.