Trembling Before G-d

It is no secret that many Gays and Lesbians have turned their backs on religion because of its strictures against homosexuality, yet there are still those that want to be both Gay and religious. This is the subject of the poignant documentary, Trembling Before G_d directed by a Gay Conservative Jew, Sandi Simcha Dubowski. The film examines the beliefs of Orthodox Gay and Lesbian Jews who are struggling to bridge the gap between their way of life and the teachings of their religion. The film, which played for five months in New York and was named Best Documentary at the Berlin Film Festival, has sparked debate between liberals and conservatives, Gay rights activists, the media and spokespersons for organized religion.

Orthodox Jews hold that acts of homosexuality are punishable by death. The passage most quoted is from Leviticus 10:13: "A man who lies with a man as one lies with a woman, they have both done an abomination: they shall be p ut to death, their blood is on them". I do not know who wrote those words or what the circumstances were, but I do know that a just God who grants his love unconditionally certainly did not. Yet Orthodox Jewish Rabbis in their devotion to Jewish doctrine consider this the "truth", ignoring the humanity of the people they have been taught to serve. Even more moderate Jews believe that homosexuality is evil or, at the very least, a sickness. This is not far different than the beliefs of many Catholics, Mormons, or Muslims as well, but the film only concentrates on Jews, and only on those who are "orthodox" in their beliefs. [In the Jewish tradition, Orthodox means belief in the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) as the written word of God, strict adherence to dietary laws, and following cultural restrictions such as not driving on the Sabbath].

Dubowski interviewed Gays and Lesbians in New York, London, Los Angeles, and Jerusalem, many coping with rejection from their families, issues of suicide and AIDS, and self-acceptance. It is unsettling to hear learned Rabbi's telling them that they must remain celibate, submit to therapy, or pray until their urges disappear. Some of the Rabbis do not even understand what is meant by oral sex and mutual masturbation. The urge to say, "please wake up" is overwhelming. One of the interviewees is David from Los Angeles, a bright and articulate man in his late 30s who, following the advice of a rabbi, tried for many years to change his orientation through therapy. He talks without bitterness about the advice given to him by various rabbis to eat figs, snap a rubber band on his wrist or bite his tongue whenever he feels the temptation to have sex with another man. Now twenty years later, David confronts the Rabbi who ordered him into therapy and tells him that his advice did not work.

There is also Michelle, a Hasidic Lesbian from Brooklyn who married under pressure from the family that now virtually disowns her. Many of the people interviewed are afraid to reveal their names and faces on camera because of fear of family and community rejection. Some openly state how afraid they are that their life style will prevent them from ever going to "heaven". One of the angriest is Israel, a 58-year-old man from New York who rejected his family after they forced him to undergo electro-shock therapy. Others interviewed include Rabbi Steven Greenberg, the first openly Gay Orthodox rabbi and author of the book "Of Wrestling with God and Men". Greenberg talks with hope about God being lovingly open to questioning and to learning from man. He says there is an alternate way of interpreting the passage from Leviticus but we are not told what this is.

Trembling Before G_d is about being Gay but is also about the need to belong -- to parents, to community, to a set of rules. It is heartbreaking when Israel says, "I'm 58 years old and I want my Daddy" and extremely moving when he finally telephones his 98-year old father after twenty years of estrangement. In an odd way, the documentary celebrates Judaism even while pointing out its flaws and it got me back in touch with the Jewish experience -- the songs, the feeling of community, and the struggle to understand God and His purposes. The real sadness was thinking about centuries of intolerance practiced by those who themselves have been victims. Trembling Before G_d illuminates the problem but does not show us a way out, yet if given enough exposure it just might become a wake up call to those still tied to an archaic belief system that long ago ceased to have any relevance or purpose.

There will always be oppression, there will always be bigotry, and there will always be guilt and shame, because organized religion has given us all of these and more. And now here comes a group of gay Orthodox Jews asking their elders and family to deny millennia of religious writings and dogma and accept them unconditionally? I am gay and a Jew and accept the fact that not every person I meet will be happy with either of those affirmations. To find people that will accept both at the same time is rarer still. At least I had the good fortune NOT to be born into an orthodox household. I would have written them off years ago..

This documentary is a caring and touching look at several people caught in a moral and sexual dilemma. Whom do they deny, themselves, or G-d? If they proclaim their homosexuality to their world, they are dismissed or ignored, shunned or exiled. If they repress their feelings and accept the dogmatic teachings of their draconian faith, then they are driven to suffer in silence, or worse, suicide.

This is little more than a modern day inquisition with the parents, the rebbe's and the congregations turning the thumbscrews on these pathetic souls. My heart goes out to all of them, but in my opinion, it is a loosing battle. I would rather see them live as complete a life as they can, knowing they are doing the best that they can, and striving for a shift in attitude in general, not a change in religious doctrine, which will never come.

I had heard a lot about this movie before I saw it. I rented it and watched it twice. I never watch movies twice! I think that this movie should be watched by all. Being gay and religious is obviously not just a Jewish problem. There are people all over the world right now from many religions, ethnic groups, and ages that are struggling with potential rejection and/or isolation if they come out. They feel defective and guilty for being who they are. In come cases, the family gets rejected and labeled as the "family with the gay son and /or daughter." It is really sad and unnecessary. This type of reaction to homosexuality is potentially chasing away good people who can make a difference in our society. Additionally, many teenagers and young adults find themselves with no hope. The only way out for them is suicide. This is horrible.

Watch the movie and "Disc 2." It has good stuff on it! :)

This documentary transcends any and every divisions there are in this world and shows the admirable strength a proud few who felt the need to communicate their struggle with the rest of the world. I was always taught that one should could not be religious AND homosexual, that we had to choose between being one or the other. This film proves that theory wrong. Its ultimate message is showing the power of love via humanizing and de-stigmatizing a sensitive, but very real, issue. God bless all who participated.

For the moment, imagine being a young child, and you are observing unintentionally that all of your friends show signs of love to opposite sex, which basically creates a clear foundation that it is "the norm" in the society you are in. But then you realize that you have that tingling feeling when it comes to interaction with boys, but nothing happens with girls. Of course, the panic will slowly arise, because it is obvious to you at this age that this is abnormal. And you try to hide deep down your feelings at all, planting that exact seed of conflict of your true nature with the world around you, which is also means that you deny to tell and admit to anyone, even yourself. That basically describes the struggle of vast majority of homosexual people around the world. But, that is not enough: imagine if all of the mentioned things happen in a community, where religion plays huge role in people's life, spreading its roots deep down to most of the aspects of their life. And this particular religion is straightforwardly states that being gay or lesbian is a sin and/or evil quality. In other words, struggles that LGBT people would come up with are multiplied several times. And this is what is shown in the wonderful documentary film called "Trembling before G-d", created in 2001 and based on the six-year work of Sandi Simcha DuBowski interviewing dozens of homosexual people in the Jewish community. Only several out of all were brave enough to agree being part of this film, which already shows how much this particular quality is abnormal to their society. The whole film is constructed around the interviews and people's stories with an addition of commentaries from different psychotherapists and rabbis (teachers in Judaism). The main point here is the conflict between the inner nature of homosexual people and their faith. From the one side, it is written commandments in Torah (Jewish Bible), that being homosexual is a sin and etc., and it was mentioned in the film that it is literally the first line that says breaking the rules is prohibited. In other words, there is a pretty obvious logical contradiction in being gay and religious person at the same time. But on the other side, it is inevitable nature of the human itself, he/she simply cannot go against himself in this particular aspect of sexuality. You just do not feel the same feelings of love and sexual desire to the opposite sex, and there is no matter of controlling it. In the film, actual gay person consulted several times at psychotherapist about this issue, and what he was actually offered were different attempts to change it - whenever he started to feel attracted to men he needed to slap himself by rubber band, or bite his tongue, or hold on the breath, using the logic of waking up from this "cloud". In other case, another homosexual man's story were way more harsh than the previous one - as soon as his father knew about his gayness, he started taking son to mental hospital, where he undergo electroshocking practice, by also suffering from huge pressure towards him. There, we see that being gay/lesbian is not only bad, both parents and society tries to "cure" these people from their sins, by medicine, by performing atonement ceremonies where people prayed for them. This factor also creates large amount of pressure to the individual himself, where he sees that coming out as a gay in this society will cost a lot - lots of health, time, nerves, and different aspects about social life will also change like people evading the contact with him and etc. An interesting phenomenon we can observe here is that it is a fact that being LGBT is considered as a serious sin, and majority of the people who were brave enough to accept it and not be ashamed of it - they try their best to compensate it with lots of good deeds. Trying to shift the balance in the scales for the good side their whole life, which also creates stressful environment. So, where it came up? Gay and lesbian people who can't risk it all to be themselves, lots of people surviving in the marriages with opposite sex just for the sake of family, this is basically how the situation is established in the Jewish society. And the problem is not discussed enough to even reconsider anything, and without the publicly showing and discussing the issue out loud, it could have been the same for the long period of time. But films like this that raise public awareness around this whole situation, they really help to solve the issue and at least show the world that particularly in the Jewish society homosexual people are living in constant agony of conflicting between themselves and their faith.