Trembling Before G-d

I am a Jew, albeit a "heathen" Jew, yet I found myself loathing all of these hyper-religious Jews, gay or not. It wasn't until the very end of the film that the director managed to bring us back to the mainstream, the essence, of Judaism with a throwaway quote from one of the film's counterpoint talking heads, a psychologist who had defected from the flock of extreme Orthodox Judaism. To paraphrase his lyrical and solid argument, he reminded us that the God of Judaism is a God of love, not control. He is the same God that engaged in conversations, in the Talmudic tradition, with Abraham and Moses and other biblical figures, in order to respond to the needs of the changing human condition. Until that point it was unclear what the director's point of view was or who her intended audience was for this film. If this portrayal of the most extreme vestige of Judaism was intended for a general audience, then, judging by my own reaction, I'd say she may have succeeded in painting all of Judaism with the same brush. It was clear that the rigid and mindless interpretations of Judaism by the extreme right were being depicted as a bad thing, but where was the Talmudic debate as to why they were wrong? I may not be a religious Jew, and I may not believe in God, but as one of the gay outcasts from the flock explained, I do believe that being born a Jew is a gift. It is Judaism's ancient teachings, that a meaningful life must be spent in pursuit of knowledge and understanding and tolerance in order to better the human condition, that make Judaism such a special tradition to be a part of.

The message that the film SHOULD have made, and failed to do, is that EVERY religion taken to its extreme, including Judaism, is nothing more than a breeding ground for people who are like robotic religious protoplasm. Ultimately, their religious fervor serves only to maintain a symbolic, xenophobic status quo that becomes a perversion of something they blindly devote their life to preserving.

I had heard a lot about this movie before I saw it. I rented it and watched it twice. I never watch movies twice! I think that this movie should be watched by all. Being gay and religious is obviously not just a Jewish problem. There are people all over the world right now from many religions, ethnic groups, and ages that are struggling with potential rejection and/or isolation if they come out. They feel defective and guilty for being who they are. In come cases, the family gets rejected and labeled as the "family with the gay son and /or daughter." It is really sad and unnecessary. This type of reaction to homosexuality is potentially chasing away good people who can make a difference in our society. Additionally, many teenagers and young adults find themselves with no hope. The only way out for them is suicide. This is horrible.

Watch the movie and "Disc 2." It has good stuff on it! :)

I am that lesbian, and finding the reviews and comments on this film is a sign. I struggle everyday trying to support the woman I love with the guilt and pain she feels in being a married closeted lesbian. I try very hard to understand the issues she faces...ie..shunning, retribution she feels will be directed at her children because of her sexual identity.

I was born and raised a Roman Catholic, so I partially understand the guilt heaped upon us from our religious upbringing. Anyone who has had to live a life of supression can readily admit how difficult it can be. I guess I will never truly understand the pain and guilt she lives with on a daily basis. I know that over the time we have spent together she has openly discussed how she told her husband about her attraction to women before they ever married and yet they married anyway.

I try to help her to understand that when you try to bury feelings and be what others expect you to be, eventually they resurface at the most inopportune times. I don't know whether she will ever come to terms with the choice she wants to make, but I stand by her. I am a woman in love with a married Orthodox Jewish woman, and I will be renting this movie in the hope it will help me understand a little better her daily trials; and how to help her.

There will always be oppression, there will always be bigotry, and there will always be guilt and shame, because organized religion has given us all of these and more. And now here comes a group of gay Orthodox Jews asking their elders and family to deny millennia of religious writings and dogma and accept them unconditionally? I am gay and a Jew and accept the fact that not every person I meet will be happy with either of those affirmations. To find people that will accept both at the same time is rarer still. At least I had the good fortune NOT to be born into an orthodox household. I would have written them off years ago..

This documentary is a caring and touching look at several people caught in a moral and sexual dilemma. Whom do they deny, themselves, or G-d? If they proclaim their homosexuality to their world, they are dismissed or ignored, shunned or exiled. If they repress their feelings and accept the dogmatic teachings of their draconian faith, then they are driven to suffer in silence, or worse, suicide.

This is little more than a modern day inquisition with the parents, the rebbe's and the congregations turning the thumbscrews on these pathetic souls. My heart goes out to all of them, but in my opinion, it is a loosing battle. I would rather see them live as complete a life as they can, knowing they are doing the best that they can, and striving for a shift in attitude in general, not a change in religious doctrine, which will never come.

This is a very disturbing documentary. One can only congratulate director Sandi Dubowski for the courage in dealing with the subject matter. Of course, the study here was done among Orthodox Jews who are at the margin of their religion. This film is universal because it could apply to conservative beliefs as well.

How can the people in charge of a congregation reject anyone because they are different from what ancient texts tell? Aren't these gay men and women the product of legal marriages from religion abiding parents? These children didn't ask to be born gay, but the fact remains they are that way and no one, being the rabbis in charge, or the parents can reverse the fact. Love, nurturing, acceptance are lacking from all those in high places.

After viewing the film, I felt great sadness for the people that have to lead a life away from family and community for just being gay. Shame on the parents and the leaders for banning their children into oblivion. I salute their stand for being themselves.