Trembling Before G-d

I had heard a lot about this movie before I saw it. I rented it and watched it twice. I never watch movies twice! I think that this movie should be watched by all. Being gay and religious is obviously not just a Jewish problem. There are people all over the world right now from many religions, ethnic groups, and ages that are struggling with potential rejection and/or isolation if they come out. They feel defective and guilty for being who they are. In come cases, the family gets rejected and labeled as the "family with the gay son and /or daughter." It is really sad and unnecessary. This type of reaction to homosexuality is potentially chasing away good people who can make a difference in our society. Additionally, many teenagers and young adults find themselves with no hope. The only way out for them is suicide. This is horrible.

Watch the movie and "Disc 2." It has good stuff on it! :)

I am that lesbian, and finding the reviews and comments on this film is a sign. I struggle everyday trying to support the woman I love with the guilt and pain she feels in being a married closeted lesbian. I try very hard to understand the issues she faces...ie..shunning, retribution she feels will be directed at her children because of her sexual identity.

I was born and raised a Roman Catholic, so I partially understand the guilt heaped upon us from our religious upbringing. Anyone who has had to live a life of supression can readily admit how difficult it can be. I guess I will never truly understand the pain and guilt she lives with on a daily basis. I know that over the time we have spent together she has openly discussed how she told her husband about her attraction to women before they ever married and yet they married anyway.

I try to help her to understand that when you try to bury feelings and be what others expect you to be, eventually they resurface at the most inopportune times. I don't know whether she will ever come to terms with the choice she wants to make, but I stand by her. I am a woman in love with a married Orthodox Jewish woman, and I will be renting this movie in the hope it will help me understand a little better her daily trials; and how to help her.

This documentary transcends any and every divisions there are in this world and shows the admirable strength a proud few who felt the need to communicate their struggle with the rest of the world. I was always taught that one should could not be religious AND homosexual, that we had to choose between being one or the other. This film proves that theory wrong. Its ultimate message is showing the power of love via humanizing and de-stigmatizing a sensitive, but very real, issue. God bless all who participated.

It is no secret that many Gays and Lesbians have turned their backs on religion because of its strictures against homosexuality, yet there are still those that want to be both Gay and religious. This is the subject of the poignant documentary, Trembling Before G_d directed by a Gay Conservative Jew, Sandi Simcha Dubowski. The film examines the beliefs of Orthodox Gay and Lesbian Jews who are struggling to bridge the gap between their way of life and the teachings of their religion. The film, which played for five months in New York and was named Best Documentary at the Berlin Film Festival, has sparked debate between liberals and conservatives, Gay rights activists, the media and spokespersons for organized religion.

Orthodox Jews hold that acts of homosexuality are punishable by death. The passage most quoted is from Leviticus 10:13: "A man who lies with a man as one lies with a woman, they have both done an abomination: they shall be p ut to death, their blood is on them". I do not know who wrote those words or what the circumstances were, but I do know that a just God who grants his love unconditionally certainly did not. Yet Orthodox Jewish Rabbis in their devotion to Jewish doctrine consider this the "truth", ignoring the humanity of the people they have been taught to serve. Even more moderate Jews believe that homosexuality is evil or, at the very least, a sickness. This is not far different than the beliefs of many Catholics, Mormons, or Muslims as well, but the film only concentrates on Jews, and only on those who are "orthodox" in their beliefs. [In the Jewish tradition, Orthodox means belief in the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) as the written word of God, strict adherence to dietary laws, and following cultural restrictions such as not driving on the Sabbath].

Dubowski interviewed Gays and Lesbians in New York, London, Los Angeles, and Jerusalem, many coping with rejection from their families, issues of suicide and AIDS, and self-acceptance. It is unsettling to hear learned Rabbi's telling them that they must remain celibate, submit to therapy, or pray until their urges disappear. Some of the Rabbis do not even understand what is meant by oral sex and mutual masturbation. The urge to say, "please wake up" is overwhelming. One of the interviewees is David from Los Angeles, a bright and articulate man in his late 30s who, following the advice of a rabbi, tried for many years to change his orientation through therapy. He talks without bitterness about the advice given to him by various rabbis to eat figs, snap a rubber band on his wrist or bite his tongue whenever he feels the temptation to have sex with another man. Now twenty years later, David confronts the Rabbi who ordered him into therapy and tells him that his advice did not work.

There is also Michelle, a Hasidic Lesbian from Brooklyn who married under pressure from the family that now virtually disowns her. Many of the people interviewed are afraid to reveal their names and faces on camera because of fear of family and community rejection. Some openly state how afraid they are that their life style will prevent them from ever going to "heaven". One of the angriest is Israel, a 58-year-old man from New York who rejected his family after they forced him to undergo electro-shock therapy. Others interviewed include Rabbi Steven Greenberg, the first openly Gay Orthodox rabbi and author of the book "Of Wrestling with God and Men". Greenberg talks with hope about God being lovingly open to questioning and to learning from man. He says there is an alternate way of interpreting the passage from Leviticus but we are not told what this is.

Trembling Before G_d is about being Gay but is also about the need to belong -- to parents, to community, to a set of rules. It is heartbreaking when Israel says, "I'm 58 years old and I want my Daddy" and extremely moving when he finally telephones his 98-year old father after twenty years of estrangement. In an odd way, the documentary celebrates Judaism even while pointing out its flaws and it got me back in touch with the Jewish experience -- the songs, the feeling of community, and the struggle to understand God and His purposes. The real sadness was thinking about centuries of intolerance practiced by those who themselves have been victims. Trembling Before G_d illuminates the problem but does not show us a way out, yet if given enough exposure it just might become a wake up call to those still tied to an archaic belief system that long ago ceased to have any relevance or purpose.

As a gay Catholic, who has embraced celibacy to conform to the teachings of the Church, I can wholeheartedly identify with the efforts of the Orthodox Jewish lesbians and gays in this film to reconcile their spirituality and sexuality, and to find acceptance in the eyes of God and their community. It is heartwrenching especially to see the havoc that this struggle has wreaked in the life of Israel Fishman. On the surface, he responds with bravado, rejecting the people and the faith that have rejected him. Yet, in one of the film's most powerful scenes, he vents his sorrow and bitterness, anger and rage, at what being gay has cost him, especially the love of his father.

The documentary is perhaps not slick and elegant in terms of production values. The constant subtitles, interpreting Hebrew and Yiddish terms for the Gentile viewer, are sometimes intrusive and annoying (especially if the viewer is at all conversant with the Jewish faith). It would have been useful, though, to explain that "Ha-Shem" means "the Name", i.e., God's name which may never be pronounced.

What it most interesting about this documentary, I think, is that it shows how the main problem may not so much be finding acceptance of onself as lesbian or gay, but rather finding acceptance of oneself as a spiritual person in a secular world.

Finally, although the film clearly documents the trials and difficulties of being a lesbian or gay Orthodox Jew, the joy of loving and being loved by G-d comes shining through. The lesbians and gays in this film suffer much at the hands of their families and rabbis, their synagogues and yeshivas -- but never, it seems, do they question that they are loved and accepted by G-d.