Biker Zombies from Detroit

I rented this pile of sewer waste hoping for a few good laughs. With a title like `Zombie Bikers from Detroit' and with Dead Alive productions stamped on the front cover, you would think that this could be a funny/gruesome film, but no. This is the worst movie I have ever seen (and yes, I have seen all of the Police Academy movies). The story (this is a joke within itself) and the dialogue are atrocious. The make up of the so-called zombies looks like they used one of those two dollar `Make yourself look like a Zombie' kits that you buy at K-Mart.

I would rather watch Beverly Hills 90210 while listening to the Backstreet Boys and be whipped by a 400lb novelty birthday card model than to sit through another single minute of this pathetic excuse for a DVD. Honestly, I could make a better movie with $3, some popsicle sticks and a slinky. I feel as if 90 minutes of my life were stripped away from me and taken to the land of Suckdom. I know that tagging on the Dead Alive production doesn't guarantee a great flick, but you do expect to get your moneys worth.

The only thing that made me happy (save, returning the horrid mass of elephant feces) was that it wasn't titled `Biker Zombies from Pittsburgh'. I feel for Detroit folks that wasted their hard-earned money on this one. Unless you have been lobotomized …. Do not buy, rent if you must … But …. You will regret it.

Biker Zombies from Detroit is not worth watching. Trust me, I'm the type of guy who watches every horror movie I can, and who tries to see the best in even the worst of films, but this "movie" is no film. It looks and sounds like it was recorded on an iphone. The script does not flow, and the actors trip on their own lines. They must have been so concentrated on saying the script exactly as it was written that they lost the natural sound of conversation. With a name like Biker Zombies from Detroit you know not to expect the greatest plot, but at least you got what it promised. Lots of bikes, decent zombie costumes, and some gore. Another chief problem with this film were the props, costumes, and setting. The filmmakers must have used what they had. The actors wore the clothes that they no doubt wear every day of their life. The settings included their own homes, and the local dinner in their hometown. I'm sure the actors, and film crew had a fun time filming this, thinking that they are becoming part of a genre that they enjoy, but this film is just an exercise in fandom, nothing more.

OH my god definitely on the top 10 worst movies ever made. NO PLOT!!! who was the main character? The guy or the girl. how many times could they have made that cop say " Ill be in the car" ha ha my throat hurt the next day from hurting from laughing so hard no ending what was the purpose of them going after the kid why was there biker zombies in the first place if i ever saw it for sale i would buy it on the spot it was so idiotically funny if you ARe looking for a horror movie stay away from biker zombies but if you are looking to laugh so hard your stomach hurts get this and never return it

This is, without a doubt, THE WORST FILM I've ever seen in my life. There's no plot, no story, almost non-existent dialogue (that which is there is about nothing, non-existent sex acts made up by the "cool" biker teens, and 1/3 cursing), awful make-up, awful fx, AND no ending! It's stupid and pointless. I don't know why trash like this is made, especially making it to DVD. It's the director (Todd Brunswick) and writer's (John Kerfoot) first film and it shows. If I were them, I'd go back to or for the first time enter beginner's film school. They got one thing perfect though; their tagline: Evil Never Looked So Bad. It looked so bad it was sad.

This movie sucked. Bad.

I certainly would not be surprised if a group of kids pitched in to get a MiniDV camcorder, some zombie masks, and beer money to pay the adults. The night scenes were obviously shot without additional lighting as everything sort of blurs into a brackish image with no detail. The audio seemed to be slightly out of sync in many parts and the music was so forgettable that I can't even recall it now. This movie should serve as fantastic viewing for and film 101 class as an example of how NOT to block, shoot, and edit.

Funniest part was when the screenwriter, John Kerfoot or some such, did a fantastic job playing himself as a patron/victim to be in a diner explaining how, in an ironic twist, movies should only be shot on film. If only the zombies could have gotten to him BEFORE he put pen to paper to scribe this filth.

The only saving point was the girl, Courtney. We need more fine, thick, jiggly lead actresses like her. I will watch this movie again just for her.